True Confessions

"So I heard you've been calling my brother retard."

"And what if I was?" Johnie Meis stepped on his cigarette and pulled another out of his pocket.

"I think I'll have to do this."

His height of 6'3 did not intimidate me. I reached up and swung with all my power to hit him in the jaw. I knew my angle wasn't right to break it, but it would have to do.

"WHAT THE HELL?!" he roared.

"Call my brother a retard again, I dare you."

He smirked. "Your brother is a retard."

And so, despite my small frame, I tackled that idiot to the ground in one swift movement and spit in his eye.

"You think you can get away with this? YOU THINK YOU CAN? WELL JUST WATCH! YOU JUST WATCH! SLEEP WITH ONE EYE OPEN!"

"Yeah, ok."

I rolled my eyes and tucked my arms into my sides. Luke was waiting for me at the doors to the school, his geek glasses could be seen from a mile away.

"Hey True. What was that all about?"

I looked up into his eyes and said, "Oh nothing. Just dicussing something with Johnie."

Luke was taller than my short 5'7. He was 6'4 and looked massive standing next to anyone. I could spot him in the halls over everyone else's heads. And he was so cute. He deserved better friends than me and Jake, but I guess we were good enough for him.

He laughed and put his hand in mine. "So, how did that go?"

"Good."

His warm finger were tight to mine as we grew silent. His eyes held my gaze longer than usual and he started to lean in towards me...

The security guard interrupted our closeness by opening the doors to let the students in. He graoned and dropped my hand, throwing his bag up onto his shoulder. That day it was weird because Jake had stayed home sick. I didn't need to come early to drop him off, so we got to stand outside together and actually be close, not just want to be. But was it only me who wanted it? Maybe the closeness was caused by his need for contact, like real close contact, with other girls.

It was the first day we actually got to be alone. Jake rarely got sick, but when he did he was out for days.

"Bye True."

He dropped our hands before we could enter the school, there was no "PUBLIC DISPLAY OF AFFECTION" allowed in the building.

I walked off down the seperate hall to my locker and twisted the knob to 30... 1... 7. The door clicked open when I pulled the latch and I pushed my hoddie into its cramped quarters.

All day I was distracted and all my teachers new it. I skipped a question on my Civics test, my Math test went badly too. I forgot all the methods of solving the problems and I stared at the paper like it was in a different language. It was so weird for me.

Mrs. Lewis, my math teacher, graded my paper first and said, "Hon, I know I don't do this but you're such a good student... Would you like to retake the test on a different day?"

Any other day, I would have been close to tears trying to get her to let me have a retest. But I sort of wanted to keep the grade I knew I really deserved. Maybe it wasn't my fault, maybe it was just the weird feelings I was having about Luke...

"Thanks Mrs. Lewis. Really, I do appreciate it, but that isn't fair. You'd have to let everyone else have a retest."

"True, I'm making you retake this test. I know you can do it. Tomorrow during lunch you are to report to my room."

"Okay Mrs. Lewis. Thanks again."

But I had a feeling I wasn't oging to be in school the next day.