True Confessions

His girlfriend is out of the picture. Finally.

"True, hey..."

Luke again. God, cant he just let me go? Please, this is hard enough for me without the constant reminder of my mistakes.

"Hi Luke."

My response was exhasperated. I didn't feel like talking, i wanted to think about one thing and one thing alone.

"True, listen, I wanted to apologize. You know how much I love you... But I'm not IN love with you, do you understand?"

"Do I understand? Luke, you aren't talking to Jake. I understand perfectly. You enjoyed watching my heart cripple in pain."

"What? No, Tru-"

"You swore you'd never let yourself see me heartbroken. Did you close your eyes when you snapped my heart in half? Do you remember those stuttered promises? Do you even care anymore?"

"True, I..."

And suddenly his lips were on mine. I was disgusted with him, I pushed him away hastily.

"LUKE!"

I rarely cry. I gave up the ability years ago, when things stopped mattering. I didn't want to cry. I never liked it, the feeling was awkward. When I did, there was a strong, sick feeling behind it and it was never a good one.

But suddenly my body forced out tears. I mentioned this sick feeling before, I think. I never did cry, I just thought I would. But I was crying. I was sobbing, my whole body shaking, my arms tight around my body. My lungs were gasping desperately for air while my mouth sucked it in faster than imaginable.

"True, calm down."

I couldn't. For the life of me, I couldn't. I wanted ot die even more than ever, I wanted to fall over right there and die. FOREVER GONE.

I had the feeling no one would miss me.

My delacate skin was pulsing, my veins throbbing. The blades were calling me from under my bed in the black box all the way home. I could hear my ame reverberating off the air around me.

My head collided with the ground, I was surrounded with black. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding.

I was passing out... Glad to escape it for a moment.

"TRUE!"

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER?!"

Who is that? Oh, Travis. Sweet, sweet boy.

"Nothing, she passed out..."

"True, TRUE!" Travis's rough hands were shaking me, but I couldn't pull out of the black. "True, speak to me. Please... Say something. Love, say something." My lips were immobile. I couldn't even think straight, let alone talk. "True, please?" I wish I could... Oh how I wish I could. I would tell you right now how much I love you, how much I dote over you. "Come on, I have a lot of people who want to meet you. My girlfriend wants to meet you... I got a new girlfriend True."

Ha, funny thing. That's exactly what I needed to hear to be able to let go completely.