The Pain I've Grown to Know

[Matt's POV]

As soon as we entered the crowded bar, I noticed Zack's eyes glued to Lea. I knew that there would be problems arising from her and me confessing our love to each other once more. His eyes were longing for her, and I could see the excitement on his face. They were just moving down to a bigger table as Jimmy had spotted us as well.

"You do know that Zack will freak out when he finds out what you told me, and just what we did at your place earlier, right?"

I whispered into her ear, as a passer by pushed her into my chest, our hips bumping into each other. Instead of continuing to proceed to the table towards the back, she turned around to me and looked up, I could see in her dark eyes, that there were many things she wanted to say and ask, but she knew, that it was neither the time nor the place to do this right now.

"Matt, I meant what I said earlier. But if we both want anything longer lasting out of this, we need to take things slow, we made the mistake the first time to rush things when we didn't know each other at all. We have both changed over the past 3 years, and I am having a baby with one of your best friends. Even if him and me just stay friends, if you and me would start dating officially, he'll think that you're trying to replace him as a father to Zion...we both know that he has never been able to see the bigger picture, and I doubt that has changed since I left."

I was relieved. As much as I wanted to be with her every single moment, I needed to get used to the idea that she was back in our lives, my life. Looking at her soft features, i wanted nothing more but shower her with kisses and affection, but I was scared, too, that rushing things would end us both in one big disaster, and this time it would not only evolve around him and her, or even Zack...but she had a kid to think of as well. He should have been scared of taking on the duties of caring for a child, that wasn't even his. But seen that it was Zack's...he didn't even have to think about it twice.

"Sounds good to me gorgeous! Get to know each other again before we decide anything,...like when we tell the others about this, when you and Zion are going to move in with me and setting a date for the wedding."

I had expected her to react with a shocked expression, but she looked outright gob smacked! I pinched her left cheek and gave her a dimple filled smirk.

"Hey, we both agreed to rolling this slow, but I am not going to lose you again! So you better get it into your little head, that at some stage down the line, you'll be walking down the aisle and become my wife. Now, let's go or Zack is gonna throw a fit."

I smacked her tight ass lightly, grabbed her hand and pulled her after me, as I elbowed a path through the crowd. Zack was standing next to their table, nervously tripping from one foot to the other, it almost looked like he was about to piss himself or something. I pressed Lea's hand a little firmer in silent encouragement before I sat down in the booth, leaving her stand in front of Zack.
I immediately glared over to Brian, to analyze how bad Zack and Jimmy had gotten to him: he had a deep cut in his lower lip, it was swollen and some dried blood was still stuck on it. The shadow on his eye suggested, that a black eye was on its way. I was only slightly satisfied, he deserved worse, but seen that we'd start with the video clip shoot tomorrow, we couldn't really beat him up too bad, or no make up would cover the bruises.

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[Normal POV]

"I am so sorry for what i said earlier, I really didn't mean it. But...there was so much new stuff dropped on me I just cracked. How's Zion, he looked a bit shaken up."

He handed her a double shot of tequila, knowing that it would calm her down, he himself sculled some JD. The situation was awkward and neither of them knew where to start.

"He's fine, he's just not used to me doing much screaming, or anyone else for that matter. Sonny is taking care of him tonight, or at least for a few hours. I...I am sorry for not telling you about him earlier Zack, I know you deserved to know and that you always wanted kids,...I just didn't know how to do it. I felt so guilty for depriving you of him, no excuse seemed good enough, and I kept pushing it further into the distance. I guess I would have come around to telling you at some stage."

She didn't even breath while saying this, and almost started feeling dizzy as she stopped and looked at him, almost apologetic for just letting all this fly out of her mouth without a warning. She quickly drank the tequila, looking around for a second one on the table. He smirked and handed her a second double, he knew her too well, even after all these years he remembered, that one was never enough for her.

"Yeah, I just not gonna mention that I was thinking of killing you for finding out myself that I had a son. But I guess,...I can appreciate your reasoning and all, I guess it's not the easiest thing to tell anyhow. Lea-"

he pulled her away from the table towards the bathrooms at the end of the room, stopping near the wall

"- I do want to be a part of his life though. Please, you cannot let me find out that I have a kid and then deny me to see him. Fuck, I'd even move to Florida to see him as much as I can, but with my work...that's just not possible. But if you allow me to come by as often as I can make a few days of time free, I would definitely do that."

She tapped her finger against her chin, as if she was thinking about what he had said, but the tequila had already started to work, and she was no longer able to hide a smirk.

"Sure you can, who you think I am,...a bitch? Oh, wait...!"

He knew what she was about to say, laughed out and hugged her. He was so relieved and grateful! And he loved to see her smile! he loved her in general. The perfect woman had brought the perfect baby into this world...and he was part of it!

"You know...I did make a scrapbook over the past 24 months...pictures of pregnancy, letters I wrote and didn't send, hand prints of him...stuff like that. I guess I was a little sentimental and thought, that since you missed out on everything...maybe one day when i am brave enough, i would send it to you."

His eyes went even bigger and he stared at her. He didn't think she would have done this. And she was right: he had missed out on everything! Seeing Leana all blown up and glowing, he could only imagine what his woman had looked like while carrying Zion.

"I can give it to you in the next few days if you want, so we can go through it together, and I can tell stories to the pictures...and you can take it on tour with you or something. And at that stage, I can bring Zion with me and we can talk about particulars regarding you seeing him more regular. What you think?"

He was about to lean in and just kiss her on the full lips, as Matt stopped next to them, holding another shot of tequila in his hands, and she glanced up to him, thankful that he had just rescued her. She wouldn't have returned Zacky's kiss. She would have pushed him away. And they both would have been in an even more strange situation then they were in already.

"Yeah, that would be great, I wanna catch up on everything. Maybe we could meet tomorrow at your place or something, when we're done with the video...or while we have a break or something."

Lea simply nodded, knocked the shot back and jumped on Matt's back, as he turned around. He had expected her to laugh or say something rude to Matt as she jumped him...but she didn't, she just lyed her face against his back and closed her eyes, as he carried her to the table the others were sitting at.

Oh great, the whole fight for dominance between Matt and him would start from the beginning...fun-fucking-tastic!