The Pain I've Grown to Know

"Where are you going L. ?"

Sonny was setting up his work space, assembling some needles with their counterparts as he noticed her getting her stuff together and pushing various things into her small shoulder bag, after she had been running about the place like a headless chicken the past 10 minutes.
Bill had already started with his first client of the day and Tony was rummaging through the stack of Cd's, trying to locate an old At the Gates album that he wanted to blast through the studio's sound system.
Hearing Sonny's voice, she stopped in her tracks and gave him a 'are you seriously asking this' glare.

"I am going home, or out, or anywhere in fact. I am not going to hang around here and wait till those two get back. And I don't want my son around this bastard either, so he is coming with me!"

Tony cocked his eyebrows, turning towards her.

"You're off this afternoon? Shit, I told a friend of mine to come over because he wanted to talk to you about some promo shots his band wants to get taken. Must have forgotten you're off later. Can I give him your number?"

Lea appreciated that he always recommended her to various friends when it came to photography, but there was no way in hell that she would risk running into Matt's and Zack's arms. She looked on the huge clock on the wall, getting nervous: the guys could be back within a few minutes, she knew Matt was usually on time when it came to appointments.

"No, she's not off for the afternoon, but she'd too afraid to admit that the past has finally caught up with her. And that she should have started thinking about an explanation for her running away and suddenly having a child before now."

Sonny stared at Lea, who was currently zipping up Zion's tiny sweatshirt, pretending she hadn't heard her friend's words. He damn well knew that this subject was her only weak point, and this was the first time since she had moved to Florida, that he was touching it, sticking a finger into a still stinging wound. Since Matt and Zack had left the shop roughly 30 minutes ago, she had been tense and nervous. She had attempted multiple times to take Matt's aviator shades from Zion, with the result that he started whimpering and crying, but she didn't care. Until Sonny took them off her and gave them back to her son. Lea wasn't even able to look at the familiar pair of shades directly, without feeling a sharp pain in her chest.

"Don't even start this shit Sonny! You can't just force me to sit down and talk with the two of them, I can't even stand the thought of them and they all prolly hate me at this stage! I am not ready yet and I can't just say 'oh by the way Baker, this is your 15 months old son. Sorry for not telling you before!'. Shit like this might work in movies, but he'd kill me, or someone that is close enough for him to punch."

She swung her bag over her shoulder after having strapped Zion into his stroller, knowing that he was about to start climbing out again. She could see that Sonny was now leaning against the wall, not taking her eyes off her.

"I wouldn't blame him if he did to be honest. He deserves to know that he fathered an adorable little boy, You should have seen the two of them earlier, I was pretty jealous, they clicked instantly. And when will you ever be ready, Lea? When Zion is old enough to ask himself who his daddy is? You know I love him to pieces, but if not for me or your sake...do it for Zion, you owe him that much. And Zack, too. I would never force you to call or write to him in any other situation...but maybe it was fate that him and Matt walked in here today. You have been trying to live a lie, hoping that it wouldn't catch up with you...although you should have known from the start that what goes around, comes around!"

Bill had stopped the humming of his tattoo gun, sticking his head around the corner of his working area as he caught pieces of Sonny's speech, wondering if he heard correctly, and even Tony had turned his head, interrupting the search for the CD.
Lea just stood there, as if he had slapped her across the face. There was no regret in his eyes as he kept staring at her, and she knew that the said had not slipped his lips by mistake.

"So this is what you were thinking in the past 2 years? You want me to tell him, so that Zion is no longer your responsibility? Well thank you very fucking much for wanting this lying, cheating, raping pimping bastard in the life of that little boy, you say you love! This will give Zacky so much leverage, that I'll never hear the end of it and the other guys will be so disappointed I didn't ell them sooner. I really thought you had my back in this...looks like I was wrong, huh?"

She tore the shop door open and tried to maneuver the stroller through it, whilst desperately trying tot to let any tears escape from her eyes, holding her breath by doing so.

"Stop running away Lea, for once in your life face the truth!"

She heard Sonny behind her as the door closed and she rushed off into the street, pushing the stroller with determination, tears finally breaking lose and rolling down her cheeks, burning trails left behind.

------------------------------------------

"Oh my God Jimmy, is that her? I swear, it's Lea!"

Although he was heads taller than his wife, he had no idea what or who she was looking at. Apart from navigating the two of them through millions of people taking care that no one bumped into Leana's ripe belly, his eyes were now focused at the 'House of Pain' sign on the other side of the street, indicating the tattoo studio. From what he could see, there were only two guys in the front part of the shop, that were standing near the window front, the glass reaching down to the pavement.
He wanted to cross the street with him, but she pulled him back and continues to stride the same path, now speeding up a little.

"What are you doing? The shop is across the street babe. Come on, let's cross here-"

"I don't give a shit about that tattoo place because Lea will not be in there, she is about 50 feet away from the shop, just passing the coffee shop at the corner! Come on, let's just follow her and hope we'll get an opportunity to talk to her. Look, she has that kid with her!"

She cut him off and tugged on his arm.

His eyes focused in on the corner across the street, until he saw a familiar mane of thick, brown curls. He looked at the person a bit better, and the way she walked and the big tattooed letters 'VE' spilling out of the back of her top, he knew that Leana was right.

"Yeah, that certainly is her. Sh is storming off like a crazy bull! Come on woman, let's cross at the traffic light and follow her."

They followed the woman that was pushing her way through the crowds with the stroller for at least 10 minutes, before she went around a corner that lead to a stretch of beach. Leana slowed down a little as she saw Lea carefully lift the sleeping toddler out of the stroller and placed him in her right arm, pulling the stroller behind her through the sand.

"Is she crying? She doesn't look good, maybe we should just leave her and-"

Now it was his turn to cut her off.

"You can go if you want, but I need to know what is happening. She took off 2 years ago and didn't even talk to her 2 best friends since then. And now she appears from out of nowhere and Matt suspects her having a kid, that looks like Zack's. There are too many unanswered questions, old and new, and I don't give a shit if she's already upset, because if she's going to play hard-ball with me, she'll end up crying anyhow!"

Leana stared at her husband with a dropped jaw. Sh hadn't heard him talk in a serious tone like this in ages, and it kind of scared her.
She was just as anxious to talk to Lea as he was, wanting to know why on earth she had left in a nightly storm, just like the time she had left back for New York. She knew that something major must have happened, Lea was usually a level- headed person, but neither Zack nor any of the other guys had mentioned something.
They slowly caught up to her, and before Leana could do something, Jimmy had jogged past Lea, stopping her with a hand to her shoulder, looking at her, before his eyes slid down towards the baby, that had now opened his eyes, giving him a wide smile. Although he wanted to smile back, he looked back up to Lea's shocked eyes, before speaking up with a strong voice:

"When were you thinking of telling Zack that he has a kid with you?"