Alex Val
Chances.
Things never seem to go to plan or even head towards the right direction for me, it's so strange but yet I'm so used to it, I almost expect bad things to happen. Only recently I've been waiting for a chance, any sort of chance because I believe that the smallest thing can change or get better when you take that chance. If it wasn't for the careers talk at school I'd still be looking at everything negatively and thinking that my chance would never come. But now I can see there is a chance to change something about your life everywhere. Chances are always there, it's up to the person to take it or leave it. So when an opportunity headed my way I grabbed it not knowing the unnecessary trouble it would bring me.
______________________________________
"But-" I started again trying to get this teacher to see my point of view which was as always nearly impossible.
"Enough Alexandria! No more buts, this camping trip is for your benefit! You like nature do you not?" Mrs Hewbury spoke, puffing her chest out to signify her authority.
I nodded vaguely biting my lip, I did love nature, the thought of spending a week camping was great! It was just the thought of sitting around a campfire with all my class mates who love me so dearly was not so comforting. They love me so dearly, they act as if I'm invisible, sometimes I wonder if I even exist! They ignore me and I ignore them, bottom line is we just don't get on, I suppose I'm one of those girls who's always in her own world. I bet they perceive me as the weird, unusually pale girl who's freakishly shy. Well yes, I am shy; it's not my fault that I'm terrified of people and it also doesn't help when my confidence is always crushed on a daily basis. I'm beyond that now, I'm used to it and in a strange way, I like it, feeling anything reminds me that I'm not invisible.
The thought of having someone there, a friend, a pet…something - died a long time ago, to put it simple, my real parents are God knows who and are doing God knows what. My foster mother likes to be away a lot and my foster father enjoys the idea of breaking my bones occasionally. I used to have a best friend, but she moved away when her mother got transferred. My cat Buster also decided that someone across town was much more hospitable than me.
But it's okay, because I hate the idea of attention, I hate people looking at me - sometimes I wished I was invisible so I wouldn't get stupid questions like;
Alex do you worship Satan?
Of course I worship Satan, I mean why wouldn't I?
Being on your own can be okay if you get past the lonely ordeal, it's nice to just have to worry about yourself and nobody else because they don't care and neither do you.
"Miss Val?" Mrs Hewbury raised her voice as she folded her arms and tapped her foot impatiently.
I glanced up at her and blinked, oh - I must have tuned out again, I always did that, one thing would lead to another and sooner or later I'd have a mini conversation or a war breakout in my mind. I was always getting lost in my own little world, but hey can you blame me? My world is much better than this world.
"Uh yeah? I mean, yes. Yes I'll be there." I rolled my eyes finally deciding that agreeing with her would most likely send her away.
"Good, remember to bring a torch, and some bug cream and I'll see you bright and early tomorrow at 8am!" She smiled and hurried off.
I watched her disappear and then frowned in thought, so, tomorrow I'd be going away for a week, to camp with my oh so lovely class mates. Before I knew it, a herd of ideas swarmed through my brain causing me to shake my head a little at all of the possibilities that now rang out to me. My heart thudded with excitement as I realised what this could mean.
Of course. Why didn't I realise or think of this sooner? This was my chance - my chance had finally come and I would greet it with open arms. It was as good as I was going to get and I smirked in triumph as everything began to come together in my head. There was only one issue - would my foster dad let me go? And even if he didn't, how easy would it be to escape? I bit my lip anxiously as I walked home, the rain started to fall lightly, tiny drops caught my face and rolled down my cheeks making me feel strangely calm all of a sudden. I stopped to examine myself in a shop window; my long hair blew in the wind and my blue eyes twinkled with ideas.
I carried on walking and decided to sweeten up my dad when I got home with a nice dinner - if he was sober. Excitement bubbled in the pit of my stomach followed by butterflies - my chance had finally come to find my own way.
With a stash of money saved under a lose floorboard under my bed, some clothes and my determination I was surely going to finally get away - from this stupid town and it's stupid judgemental people and most of all away from my abusive foster father.
The perfect chance had finally arrived and I would take it regardless of my father's decision.
______________________________________
"But-" I started again trying to get this teacher to see my point of view which was as always nearly impossible.
"Enough Alexandria! No more buts, this camping trip is for your benefit! You like nature do you not?" Mrs Hewbury spoke, puffing her chest out to signify her authority.
I nodded vaguely biting my lip, I did love nature, the thought of spending a week camping was great! It was just the thought of sitting around a campfire with all my class mates who love me so dearly was not so comforting. They love me so dearly, they act as if I'm invisible, sometimes I wonder if I even exist! They ignore me and I ignore them, bottom line is we just don't get on, I suppose I'm one of those girls who's always in her own world. I bet they perceive me as the weird, unusually pale girl who's freakishly shy. Well yes, I am shy; it's not my fault that I'm terrified of people and it also doesn't help when my confidence is always crushed on a daily basis. I'm beyond that now, I'm used to it and in a strange way, I like it, feeling anything reminds me that I'm not invisible.
The thought of having someone there, a friend, a pet…something - died a long time ago, to put it simple, my real parents are God knows who and are doing God knows what. My foster mother likes to be away a lot and my foster father enjoys the idea of breaking my bones occasionally. I used to have a best friend, but she moved away when her mother got transferred. My cat Buster also decided that someone across town was much more hospitable than me.
But it's okay, because I hate the idea of attention, I hate people looking at me - sometimes I wished I was invisible so I wouldn't get stupid questions like;
Alex do you worship Satan?
Of course I worship Satan, I mean why wouldn't I?
Being on your own can be okay if you get past the lonely ordeal, it's nice to just have to worry about yourself and nobody else because they don't care and neither do you.
"Miss Val?" Mrs Hewbury raised her voice as she folded her arms and tapped her foot impatiently.
I glanced up at her and blinked, oh - I must have tuned out again, I always did that, one thing would lead to another and sooner or later I'd have a mini conversation or a war breakout in my mind. I was always getting lost in my own little world, but hey can you blame me? My world is much better than this world.
"Uh yeah? I mean, yes. Yes I'll be there." I rolled my eyes finally deciding that agreeing with her would most likely send her away.
"Good, remember to bring a torch, and some bug cream and I'll see you bright and early tomorrow at 8am!" She smiled and hurried off.
I watched her disappear and then frowned in thought, so, tomorrow I'd be going away for a week, to camp with my oh so lovely class mates. Before I knew it, a herd of ideas swarmed through my brain causing me to shake my head a little at all of the possibilities that now rang out to me. My heart thudded with excitement as I realised what this could mean.
Of course. Why didn't I realise or think of this sooner? This was my chance - my chance had finally come and I would greet it with open arms. It was as good as I was going to get and I smirked in triumph as everything began to come together in my head. There was only one issue - would my foster dad let me go? And even if he didn't, how easy would it be to escape? I bit my lip anxiously as I walked home, the rain started to fall lightly, tiny drops caught my face and rolled down my cheeks making me feel strangely calm all of a sudden. I stopped to examine myself in a shop window; my long hair blew in the wind and my blue eyes twinkled with ideas.
I carried on walking and decided to sweeten up my dad when I got home with a nice dinner - if he was sober. Excitement bubbled in the pit of my stomach followed by butterflies - my chance had finally come to find my own way.
With a stash of money saved under a lose floorboard under my bed, some clothes and my determination I was surely going to finally get away - from this stupid town and it's stupid judgemental people and most of all away from my abusive foster father.
The perfect chance had finally arrived and I would take it regardless of my father's decision.