Alex Val

It's a nice feeling being no where - being lost in the dark, you see nothing and you feel nothing - what a wonderful feeling. It's like nothing matters anymore, nothing has any affect on you because you're surrounded by complete darkness. The only form of logic I was comprehending was darkness - total and eternal darkness. I loved it. I wanted to stay this way, where nothing existed, where nothing made sense but it was all okay. I was at peace and it was a brilliant change from that horrendous pain that I was going through some time ago. I couldn't remember how long ago it was and I didn't care - I was finally at peace, no more pain, no more aches, no more throbbing - no more anything.

I didn't know how long I was consumed by darkness, but suddenly I was becoming aware of things around me.

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I woke with a jolt all of a sudden like I'd been falling for ages and I'd just hit my bed - that kind of jolt, my mind coiled with panic for a split second but as I opened my eyes to take in my surroundings I was at ease once again. I was at ease to a certain extent though because I found myself back in their home in this world, not my home in my world and that was still an underlying problem that I had to resolve. I relaxed my shoulders and allowed my muscles to sink into the bed, they were aching from being so rigid for so long. I had a vague hint of a jelly like feeling lingering in my legs, I could move them but it requested more effort then normally needed.

I felt a small pounding in my head like I was hung-over but not severely, I also felt I had fallen over pretty hard or tripped or something because the skin on my knees burned and my elbow hurt like I had scraped it. I was too lazy to move and check, so instead I just lay in the semi darkness waiting for it to shroud me or for someone to come and explain the facts of what actually happened to me. I was remembering more and more as the memory placed itself into a neat perfectly fitting jigsaw for me in my mind. I met Christopher; Ryan and Blake's cousin, he got me a drink and we danced. Then came the utter unbearable searing pain, I remembered stumbling out of the hall in anguish finally falling onto my knees - that explained why the skin on my knees felt like it had been torn opened. Some bits were vivid and clearer than others like the fact that every time Christopher attempted to help me I would end up in more pain than I was. I wrecked my brain trying to find logical explanations for what actually happened to me and came up with a short list of possibilities when I heard my door creak open slowly.

My eyes snapped shut instantly and I pretended to be asleep as the creak became more evident, the floorboards rasped as someone walked across the room closing the door behind them. I allowed the corner of my left eye to open slightly to see my oncoming visitor, seeing it was Ryan I suppressed a sigh and continued pretending to be asleep. I felt the side of my mattress sink down a little and then a sigh erupted form his lips. What seemed like 5-10 minutes passed with him just sitting there not making any movement or sound I wondered what he was doing, I wondered whether he was staring at me or whether he was daydreaming out of the window in my room?

I took the risk and allowed the corner of my left eye to reopen briefly and what I saw scared me a little, Ryan had both of his elbows resting on my bed and had his hands covering his nose. For someone who despised me he seemed like he was actually worried for my health as ridiculous as that sounded It was what it looked like and I couldn't deny what I saw.

Another 5 minutes passed in silence, silence I was accustomed to - not with Ryan, we always had something to argue about and come to think of it we only ever cursed or shouted at each other. I thought of my little list of possibilities of how what could have happened and then came to the decision that I had to ask Ryan. I lifted my left eye completely and my right one slowly followed but seeing this movement Ryan froze - and I froze. He was in the same position as before but something was different, he had his hand outstretched inches away from my cheek. His hand had been hovering over my cheek - for how long? I didn't know, instead we both stared at each other slightly shocked and slightly puzzled. I was glad when he finally moved his hand away and regarded me thoughtfully.

"I - uh wanted to check if you were still breathing - you know, you pathetic humans can die so easily…so weak." He coughed at the end looking away and I knew he was lying, why would you check my cheek to feel my pulse? I thought to myself.

"Could it hurt you to be nice?" I asked and was surprised at how weak my voice sounded, I sounded drained and feeble like I was in fact dying.

"Could it hurt you to tell me about yourself?" He asked as a quick reply throwing me off, I had already opened my mouth to shoot him a come back for what I thought he would reply but this question made me snap my mouth shut. Instead I diverted the subject in the hope to get something useful out of him.

"What happened to me?" I questioned softly sitting up.

"You were drugged." He simply replied like it happened everyday. Well technically it did happen everyday but it didn't happen to me everyday.

"By who?" I asked slightly irritated at people like that - what was the point in spiking someone's drink or drugging people? And then I thought - Christopher had gotten our drinks, maybe he did something? No he couldn't have, Christopher was nice to me, maybe he had left the drinks unattended for a second or two after all it was all someone needed to drop something into them.

"By who?" I asked again when Ryan didn't answer straight away.

"If I knew that he'd be dead."

"Or she." I added glumly and then his words registered in my mind.

"Awe so you would kill this person just for me?" I asked in a sarcastic baby voice which I found annoying - Ryan must have wanted to suffocate me at that point.

"Hardly - the person would be dead just so they wouldn't do it again." He growled.

I knew that was coming and it didn't bother me, the idea of Ryan doing something nice especially for me was out of the question in fact it sounded slightly insane - just like they all were, just like this world was - insane.

"Can I ask you a question?" He asked straightening up and looking me in the eyes, I found myself drawn into those pits of green goodness and I just couldn't say no.

"...If you must." I replied stubbornly, he acknowledged my answer and leaned forwards speaking in a hushed whisper like he was afraid of someone over hearing.

"When did you first realise you could make the shield of Arah?" He asked scratching the back of his head; I paused for some time trying to find the correct terms and the right way to explain this to him. I actually didn't know myself, it was a mystery to me but there was a pattern that occurred permitting me to see when the shield would come and when it would not.

"When - I uh…found myself in a certain situation." I began and he shot me a quizzical look.

"When I felt vulnerable, scared, angry or intimidated." I carried on and his eyes narrowed they almost looked like slits - he looked like he was in deep thought.

"Mostly just times when I've felt scared it would just pop out of no where." I finished feeling my lips, they felt sore for some reason.

"And why would you have been scared?" He continued his questioning. I shifted on the bed trying to find a point to his questions and then trying to find a way to reveal such information about myself for the first time ever.

"Tell me - please." He added onto the end rolling his eyes. I sighed giving in and decided to tell him the basics, no one wanted to hear this sob story and I certainly didn't want anyone to feel sorry for me, sympathy was something I didn't want or need.

"Right well, my dad he doesn't really agree with my existence in a way, I suppose he's always too busy being off his face to tell me the proper reason behind it. But when he can stutter out some words he says that I'm worthless scum. Anyway in between these name callings he sometimes well most of the time; he hits me." I shrugged trying to fit my words perfectly to put across the picture that I did not need empathy or pity.

"Sometimes it's just a kick to the stomach or a slap to the face once a day or once a week but other times it gets as bad as broken bones and bloody noses." I finished looking down at the quilt as silence lingered between us for some time.

"Oh - right." He replied quietly - the quietest I had ever heard him speak - this was slightly eerie.

"And what happened when you used the shield?" He asked and I chuckled slightly remembering those times when I had actually seen a second of fear in my dad's eyes. They say everyone is afraid of the unknown and having a blue shield erupt out of your bare fingertips and protect you is definitely an unknown ability.

"The first time I saw fear in his eyes and expression but then it didn't matter to him if anything it made him angrier - he actually went mental and I didn't know how to stop it from appearing. He said he was going to beat that out of me because it was like a disease that needed vaccination and that his fists were the antidote." I shuddered remembering his slurred words.

"How many times has he hit you?" He asked leaning on his hands once more.

"Every day." I repeated.

"You used the shield everyday?" He leaned backwards as I paused again.

"No, it came out of no where one day and I used it a few times unintentionally but that was when I was scared and then it stopped coming after a week or so until that night I found you in the clearing." I simply replied.

"Why weren't you scared anymore?" He asked, his tone was softer and actually caring - was I dreaming? Ryan was actually being sensitive.

"Because he convinced me that I was doing wrong, so I thought I deserved it all, so basically I wasn't scared anymore, I just took it and got on with life - well tried to, but then there's only so much someone can take." I finished firmly hinting that, that was it - no more questions because I was too tired to answer. But then something else ran through my mind, Ryan, Blake and Icis could all do weird things, they were different and skilled in various magical areas.

"Am I a freak?" I asked nervously out of the blue. Ryan's eyes were fixed on the bed covers too he sat there in silence contemplating whether he should reply or not.

"No, you're not a freak." He stated after 10 minutes.

"Then why-" I began, I had so much questions of my own, like why me? How could this even be possible? Were there others? Was I damned? And most importantly what were the odds that I was actually in a coma or stuck in a nightmare or something?

"Some people are born special; they have an ability or various abilities depending on their character and who their parents and what their parents can do. What are your parents like? Have they ever shown any skill in magic? Can they or do they?" He asked.

I pursed my lips in thought that was a good question - one I would never know the answer to.

"I don't know." I replied reluctantly - I was adopted but I left that piece of information out for Ryan it would make my story seem more of a sob story and as I have said a million times I did not need or want sympathy or pity from anyone.

"Why?" He asked, I sighed at his question - yet another question maybe this was the cut off point, this was where I wouldn't reveal anymore.

"I didn't know one question would turn into a million." I snarled as he shot up and glared.

"Whatever." He began walking towards the door.

"I have better things to do." He retorted walking out of the room and leaving me in almost complete darkness now, nothing but me and the questions swirling around in my mind.