Fall From A Star

My parents decided it be best if I didn't attend school and I skipped graduation all together.

Lets just say I wasn't going to complain.

Now its been a week and I'm getting used to feelings of other people touching me.

I let Zack kiss me but I don't kiss back.

I don't look at him when he kisses me because he looks completely heartbroken and I know I'm causing it.

"Morning sweetie." my mom said as I walked into the kitchen. Dad was at the table reading the newspaper and Matt was eating pancakes next to him.

"Morning mommy." I said and walked over to the plate of pancakes on the island.

I grabbed a plate and placed one pancake with syrup and some strawberries on it.

I sat opposite of Matt and played with my food. I cut it into tiny pieces making it longer till I had to consume it. Matt looked up at me curiously.

I shrugged him off and began to eat the pancake and strawberries.

"Its good to see you eating Julia." My dad said moving his eyes from his paper to me.

I looked up from my fork dancing on my plate to him and nodded.

I looked at Matt and he still had the same expression on his face. Like he knew something was up but he wasn't positive.

I took another bite and he smiled at me and finished eating his food.

"Julia do you want some orange juice?" My mom ask me.

"Can I get some water please." I asked she nodded and ran the faucet to get it cold.

"I'll have some orange juice." Matt said with a mouth full of food.

"Matthew you know where it is." She said as she placed my water down and kissed my cheek.

Matt sighed and got up to get some himself a glass of juice. He placed his plate in the sink and gulped down his OJ.

"Julia." Matt said as the glass clanked into the sink. "We have band practice at 4 then we thought we all go down to the beach later." Matt informed me.

"Okay." I said softly and took my last bite. I stood up and walked towards the sink and washed my plate and Matt's to.

"Zacky wants you to come to the beach." he said.

I turned to look at him as I turned the water off. "Okay. Ill be in my room. Come get me when its 4." I said and walked towards the stairs.

"Alright" I heard Matt say faintly as I walked away.

I went into the bathroom and ran the water to the shower. I lifted the lid to the toilet and knelled over it.

And I did the one thing I always told myself in health class I'd never do. I made myself puke.

The first way I hide my pain.

I did it ever morning for the past week just like this. Turn the shower on so the sound of me puking was muffled by the running water.

I flushed the toilet and stripped down to my naked skin and walked into the shower.

I turned the knob on the shower clockwise until it wouldn't turn any more.

I let the hot water burn my skin and I squealed softly in pain.

The second way I hide my pain.

Thats all I did because I didn't have to let anyone else see.

When I saw Val cry, it broke me even more and I made a pack that I didn't want to see her cry again because of me.

But as my mind kept winning I need something to control and thats how I found those two.
Pathetic, I know.

I barely cried anymore. I didn't yell at anyone. I haven't since my parents came home.

I ate in front of them but puked it out ever morning.

It became my life for the past week.

But I was living, when all I wanted to do was disappear.

I turned off the shower and wrapped myself in a towel. I gathered up my clothes and left the bathroom.

"Oh um Julia..wow" I looked and saw that Jimmy was staring at me. "Why is your-"

"Jimmy can you turn around." I cut in before he could ask about how red my skin was.

"Oh yes, I'm sorry." He turned around. And I powered walked into my room.

I leaned against the door and took a deep breath. I heard Jimmy's feet walk over to the bathroom and the door shut.

I hope he just forgets about it.

I put on my yellow bikini, knowing I was going to the beach later and a pair of soffe shorts and one of Zacky's hoodies. I zipped it up to right above my chest. I brushed my hair and just allowed it to air dry. I didn't feel like putting my contacts in, so I just placed my dark red rimmed glasses on.

I didn't know what to do for the next couple of hours so I just decide on watching a movie or two.

Before I knew it, I heard several knocks and the front door opening and closing for the past ten minutes. I heard a set of footsteps climbing the stairs and they stopped at my door with a soft knock.

"Come in." I said and the door opened.

"Hey Baby." Zacky smiled and walked into my room with one hand behind his back. "I got you this."He said as he sat on my bed. He pulled a yellow rose from behind his back.

"Thank you." I said and took the flower from him. I placed my arms around his waist and rested my head on his shoulder

I felt him kiss my cheek and he hugged me tight. "I love you."

"I love you too." I whispered barely audible.

"Are you coming to the beach?" He asked as he pulled away to tuck some of my now dry hair behind my ear.

I nodded and twirled the flower with my fingertips.

"Good." he smiled and kissed my forehead. "Lets go downstairs." he stood up and grabbed my wrist.

I slowly moved my hand down to lace our fingers together. Zacky looked down at our hands when I moved them then back me when I was done. He smiled and brought our hands up to his lips and kissed them.

"Thank you Zacky." I said quietly as we entered the living room. He sat down on the couch and pulled me out to his lap.

I rested my head on his chest and my non laced hand played with our laced hands. He kissed my cheek and whispered in my ear, "About what?"

I looked up into his eyes and brought my lips to his ear. "For being my guardian angel."

I pulled our hands up to my mouth and kissed them. He smiled at me and I tired my best attempt of a smile back at him but it was just a thin line that my lips made. He kissed my cheek again and focused on to what the guys were talking about.

"I think we need more guitar solos." I heard Brian say. I allowed my eyes to bounce off each person that spoke.

"Pfft, I think we need a fucking bass solo." Johnny scoffed.

"Bass solo, please Johnny, er right. We all know the most important part of the song is the guitar solo. Everybody knows that. Everybody knows THAT!" Brian retorted back. And made everyone laugh besides me.

Johnny rolled his eyes and looked over at Jimmy. "You've been quiet Rev. Whats up your ass." When he didn't respond Johnny kicked him in the shin.

"Ow! What the fuck short shit." Jimmy yelled and slapped him in the head.

"Whats up Jimmy?" Matt asked.

Jimmy looked at me then looked at Matt. "Nothing." he muttered. "So what did you say before Christ?" he asked and Johnny asked him again. "Brian has a point."

Jimmy stayed in the conversation and didn't stop being his usually dumb-witted self. Which I thanked him for.

We made our way to the garage and they played some songs and changed things around and stuff. I sat with Val she asked if I wanted to go shopping this week with her and I said I would. We thought we go see a movie or something.

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The guys finished and they went to pick up their girls and then they meet us at the beach.

Matt grabbed a cooler and Zacky grabbed the food as we made our way to Matt's car. Val sat in back with me and Zacky took shotgun.

As we pulled up to the beach everyone was already there beers in hand and they through the beer boxes into the fire pit for later.

Zacky grabbed the food bag in one hand and my hand in the other as we made our way towards the others.

Jimmy was chasing Leanna around in the water. I was hoping she could keep him busy all night so he wouldn't bother me.

Lacey, Val, and me laid some towels down to take in the last minute rays the California sun would give us before it settled.

I took off Zacky's hoodie and placed my shades over my eyes.

"Thats a really cute bikini, Julia" I heard Lacey say.

I looked over her and said "Thank you. I like yours to." She smiled and said thank you too before closing her eyes and Val did the same.

"Zacky" He turned around from the guys and looked at me. "Can I have your IPOD please." I asked.

He nodded and began to walk over to me digging in his pockets."Here you go baby." He handed me the IPOD and kissed the top of my head and ruffled my hair a little bit.

"Thank you." I said and fixed my hair as he walked away.

The sky was setting and every couple sat together watching it.

As the sky turned black and everyone else sat around the bonfire, Zacky and me were laying in sand and looking up at the stars.

My head was on his chest and he was rubbing my skin softly.

We didn't say anything but we didn't have to either. It was perfect between the two of us.

I looked up at his eyes and saw them move around as he looked up at the stars. His mouth was slightly moving but nothing was coming out.

He must of noticed I was looking at him because he glanced down at me and smirked. "What?"

"What are you doing?" I asked curiously.

He laughed and kissed my forehead. "It might sound cheesy."

"I think I can handle it."

"Okay but don't laugh." I don't think thats a problem. "I was matching all of the stars with a reason why I love you" he said. I think he was waiting for a kiss or a smile but when I didn't give him anything he continued. "I told you it was-"

I cut him off with my lips. I felt him smiled in the kiss and he bought his hand to my cheek and pulled me closed. When we pulled away he was smiling but my smile was still to far gone.

Then he smiled bigger, for the both of us.

I rested my head back on his chest like before but I just looked at him hoping he still be looking up at the stars. When he closed his eyes and I pouted. "Did you run out of reasons?"

He opened one eye and looked at me. He noticed me pouting and smiled. He closed his eye and shook his head.

"Then why did you stop?" I pouted again.

He laughed and pulled my face up to his. He opened his eyes and I could feel his hot breath hitting my face.

"Because I ran out of stars." he said and I pressed my lips to his again.