Can't Rain All The Time

“So…doing anything special this weekend, Melody?” Logan’s deep voice asked me, pulling me from my blank stare at the spaghetti he’d cooked for the three of us for dinner.

“Nope, why?” Nothing I ever do is special.

“Well, me and a couple of my friends were coming over to hang out this weekend; maybe watch a football game,” he said politely. It was no wonder Andie liked him. She always fell for the tough, kind-hearted guys, where as I always got the wimpy jerk-offs. “Andie was telling me how you occasionally watch football, so you’re welcome join us, if you’re not busy or anything.”

Great, I’m welcome to watch TV in my apartment with my roomie’s boyfriend and his friends.

“Thanks.” I was sure Andie could tell I was just putting on a show - she had always been good at reading me - and that I didn’t really care about what Logan said to me. But as long as Logan didn’t know that, all was good.

I shoveled the remaining noodles on my plate in my mouth, silently listening to them converse about parties or something, and excused myself, bringing my dirty plate to the sink and rinsing it off before retreating to my bedroom for the night.

The following morning, as I took my usual cigarette break on the balcony, I was surprised to see Andie, still bearing her pajamas, come outside and join me on the bench. She hated being around people when they smoked, even though she would never say that. You could just tell after knowing her and being a smoker for so long. Neither of us said anything to the other for a while, and, soon, I was finished with my cancer stick. It wasn’t until I was putting it out in the ash tray when she finally spoke.

“Did you have a good time last night?” she asked softly. This was her subtle way of asking, ‘so what do you think about Logan?’ I was sure there was something else going on in her head; something else she wanted to ask me. She wouldn’t just come out while I was smoking, then wait for me to finish, just to ask about her new boyfriend.

“Yeah.” I nodded my head for emphasis. “Logan seems like a great guy. Looks like you’ve got a keeper on your hands.” I attempted to smile, seeing one find its way onto her face as well.

“Thanks,” she told me, blushing slightly.

I kept waiting for her to say something else. It certainly looked like she was about to ask me a question, but was having trouble finding the words. As she knew, it didn’t take but a few words to set me off.

I scratched the back of my head, unsure of what to do, and decided to make my way back inside.

“Melody.” I stopped walking and turned to face my best friend. “Are you okay?” Of course. There’s always something else.

I nodded my head, crossing my arms over my chest as a cold wind abruptly blew past us. “Yep. I’m fine.”

Andie studied my face for a couple seconds, debating whether or not she should believe me. But her stare was too intense for me to handle. I looked down at the green and white striped socks covering my feet.

“Really. ‘Cause you don’t seem fine.” She stood up and walked over to me.

I wasn’t sure how to respond to that. I mean, of course I wasn’t okay - I’ll be the first to admit thatin my head. It was just…hard for me. I hated the fact that I allowed stupid boys and bad relationships get to me like this. But it was all just so overwhelming sometimes. Like, they made me feel so…useless. And I never wanted them to do that to me again. I wasn’t going to let them.

“It’s nothing to worry about, Andie,” I tried to assure her, as well as myself. “I just haven’t been very…happy lately. I’m not sure what’s up.”

It was awful how often I lied to her.

She’d gone back to scrutinizing my face, probably catching my bluff.

“I’ve just noticed…you haven’t really been out with anyone since Derek. And its been two months, Melly. That’s not like you.” I paid attention to how she said his name softer than the rest of the words she’d spoken.

I looked down at my feet. It was one thing to think about something like that. It was another to have to be reminded by someone else about it.

She must have realized I wasn’t going to say anything else, because she was soon speaking again.

“Have you thought about Kimi’s…invitation?” Andie was always good at using the right words. She really was awesome and I definitely took advantage of her friendship.

“Not really,” I admitted. I rested my body on the wall next to the door. “I’ll give her a call sometime.”

She nodded her head, her bleached hair looking perfect even after just rolling out of bed.

“Are you worried about showing up without a date?” she asked, her voice gentle, cautious.

I shrugged my shoulders, Andie immediately understanding what that meant; yes.

“You know, Logan’s got some male roommates, I hear. Roommates with musical talent,” she hinted quite unsubtly, yet a smile finding its way on my face despite the fact of this. “You’re hot, I bet we could get one of his friends to go with you.”

As much as I loved the idea of that - showing up to my sister’s wedding with my ‘rockstar’ boyfriend - I simply shrugged once more. Not in the ‘Please stop talking now’ way, but more like the ‘Now’s probably not the best time to discuss this’ way.

Naturally, Andie understood.

“Okay, well I won’t keep you any longer. We both have work to get ready for,” she said, shooting me a small smile.

Andie stepped into the warmth of the apartment and headed off into the direction of her bedroom. I walked in after her, closing the sliding glass door behind me.

“Hey…Andie?” I said. She stopped walking and turned towards me, looking at me to show I had her attention. “Thanks. For everything.” For putting up with my crap, to be specific.

“No problem, hun.” She smiled her award winning, heart stopping smile once more and continued down the hall to get ready.

Which reminded me to do the same, as tempted as I was to pick up the phone and call in sick.