A Taste Of Chaos
The Phone Call
For the next few days, we all got along well and mucked around heaps. Frank and I had a sugar-filled night and stayed up for almost 36 hours but the sugar wore off. Gerard and I had forgiven each other and everything was right again, until the phone call. It was my mother.
"Hello darling." I heard and I almost spat put the coffee I had just sipped.
"Mother?" My mother was part of the reason I had moved out of home. The other was my father. He used to physically abuse me, never sexually, thankgod. Just before I had moved out, he had called me a little groupie slut for going out with Frank. He grabbed my by the hair and threw me up against the wall before laying into me. That was when I knew I had to get out of that house.
"Hi sweetie, how are you?" My mother asked shakily. My mother had witnessed my abuse and had never done anything except put blame on me for 'making my father angry again.'
"What do you want?" Frank put his arms around me when he heard who was on the phone.
"Oh...uh...well, I wanted to...um..."
"Get to the point." I cut her off.
"Your father's in the hospital and the doctors think he won't make it much longer." She blurted out. I scoffed.
"And you think I care?"
"It's your father!" she said hysterically.
"He was never my father! He was a man who used beat the shit out of me and you were the woman who let it happen!" I screamed down the phone. I couldn't believe the ordacity to call me after half a year and expect me to play happy families! I couldn't take anymore of it. I hung up on her. I ran from Frank and the others and shut myself in the bathroom.
"Lily baby, open the door." Frank pleaded from outside the door.
"No! I hate them! I HATE THEM!" I screamed back. Frank had no idea about how long I had been abused by my drunken father. He knew, of course, about my last night in that house.
"Baby, I know, I know, let me in. Please baby." I started crying as I slid down the door. I couldn't do this. Remembering this, dragging up all my supressed memories. It would kill me.
"Lily, I swear I'm here for you, please open the door and let me in." Frank was so upset that I wouldn't open the door. It reminded me of when I was younger. I used to lock myself in the bathroom a lot, just to get away, to hurt myself. I unlocked the door and crawled away from it. Frank barged through it and enveloped me in an enormous hug. I cried and cried on his shoulder and he just held me. It was then I knew I truely loved Frank.
The bus came to a sudden hault. We were at the hotel that we would be staying at for the next week. Frank and I were still in the bathroom. Gerard came in and sat next to us.
"I just wanted to say that, we are all here for you Lily. We're all family, I promise." It was the most beautiful thing anyone had ever said to me. Family. I had never had an actual family, I had a broken fake family. Now I had a real one. I hugged Gerard and said thankyou. He said he would check in for me and Frank and we could go in whenever we wanted. He left and it was just me and Frank again. I was sitting on his crossed legs and he had his arms around me, rocking me back and forth with his chin on my head. I felt so safe.
"I love you so much Frank. Thankyou." Frank kissed the top of my head.
"I love you more than you'll ever know sweet heart." I smiled and he hugged me tighter. About an hour later, we crept into the hotel room. Frank had carried me in, even though I had insisted against it. He put me on the bed and went to get a cloth so I could wash my face and some panadol for my headache.
"Frank I look horrible, how can you love me so much?" I asked as he handed me the tablets and a glass of water.
"It's not what I see that makes me love you, it's who you are." I smiled as he wiped my face for me.
"Do you want talk about what he used to do to you?" Frank asked. I shook my head. I wasn't ready to drag up all the memories, although I had remembered most of them after my mother called.
"I'm not ready to talk about it yet, but I will tell you as soon as I am." Frank smiled and kissed my forehead. I crawled under the covers of the bed and Frank tucked me in.
"I'm gonna go see the guys and tell them you're alright, ok?" Frank said looking at me with concern. I nodded and he kissed my cheek and left the room. I turned to face the wall closest to me. Tears started to roll down my cheek as I fell into a haunted sleep.
"Hello darling." I heard and I almost spat put the coffee I had just sipped.
"Mother?" My mother was part of the reason I had moved out of home. The other was my father. He used to physically abuse me, never sexually, thankgod. Just before I had moved out, he had called me a little groupie slut for going out with Frank. He grabbed my by the hair and threw me up against the wall before laying into me. That was when I knew I had to get out of that house.
"Hi sweetie, how are you?" My mother asked shakily. My mother had witnessed my abuse and had never done anything except put blame on me for 'making my father angry again.'
"What do you want?" Frank put his arms around me when he heard who was on the phone.
"Oh...uh...well, I wanted to...um..."
"Get to the point." I cut her off.
"Your father's in the hospital and the doctors think he won't make it much longer." She blurted out. I scoffed.
"And you think I care?"
"It's your father!" she said hysterically.
"He was never my father! He was a man who used beat the shit out of me and you were the woman who let it happen!" I screamed down the phone. I couldn't believe the ordacity to call me after half a year and expect me to play happy families! I couldn't take anymore of it. I hung up on her. I ran from Frank and the others and shut myself in the bathroom.
"Lily baby, open the door." Frank pleaded from outside the door.
"No! I hate them! I HATE THEM!" I screamed back. Frank had no idea about how long I had been abused by my drunken father. He knew, of course, about my last night in that house.
"Baby, I know, I know, let me in. Please baby." I started crying as I slid down the door. I couldn't do this. Remembering this, dragging up all my supressed memories. It would kill me.
"Lily, I swear I'm here for you, please open the door and let me in." Frank was so upset that I wouldn't open the door. It reminded me of when I was younger. I used to lock myself in the bathroom a lot, just to get away, to hurt myself. I unlocked the door and crawled away from it. Frank barged through it and enveloped me in an enormous hug. I cried and cried on his shoulder and he just held me. It was then I knew I truely loved Frank.
The bus came to a sudden hault. We were at the hotel that we would be staying at for the next week. Frank and I were still in the bathroom. Gerard came in and sat next to us.
"I just wanted to say that, we are all here for you Lily. We're all family, I promise." It was the most beautiful thing anyone had ever said to me. Family. I had never had an actual family, I had a broken fake family. Now I had a real one. I hugged Gerard and said thankyou. He said he would check in for me and Frank and we could go in whenever we wanted. He left and it was just me and Frank again. I was sitting on his crossed legs and he had his arms around me, rocking me back and forth with his chin on my head. I felt so safe.
"I love you so much Frank. Thankyou." Frank kissed the top of my head.
"I love you more than you'll ever know sweet heart." I smiled and he hugged me tighter. About an hour later, we crept into the hotel room. Frank had carried me in, even though I had insisted against it. He put me on the bed and went to get a cloth so I could wash my face and some panadol for my headache.
"Frank I look horrible, how can you love me so much?" I asked as he handed me the tablets and a glass of water.
"It's not what I see that makes me love you, it's who you are." I smiled as he wiped my face for me.
"Do you want talk about what he used to do to you?" Frank asked. I shook my head. I wasn't ready to drag up all the memories, although I had remembered most of them after my mother called.
"I'm not ready to talk about it yet, but I will tell you as soon as I am." Frank smiled and kissed my forehead. I crawled under the covers of the bed and Frank tucked me in.
"I'm gonna go see the guys and tell them you're alright, ok?" Frank said looking at me with concern. I nodded and he kissed my cheek and left the room. I turned to face the wall closest to me. Tears started to roll down my cheek as I fell into a haunted sleep.