The Only Difference Between Bill Kaulitz and Brendon Urie Is Press Coverage

The bus stopped and we were in Kansas City.

Let me warn you, many, many, many things happened that night. It’s a night I’ll never forget. Never in a billion years.

So all of us were pretty worried as to how leaving Gussi and Tom alone would work out.

Everyone got off the buses, some crew people were setting up on stage already, and me, Bill, and Georg decided to brave it and walked over to TH’s bus.

I couldn’t hear any yelling or screaming from the door and when I finally got on I had to say I was at least a bit surprised. The two of them were just sitting there talking quietly, the place wasn’t torn apart as I had expected it to be.

Tom and Gussi looked up at us and smiled.

“We’ve got it all worked out,” Gussi said, and Tom nodded.

I shot Bill a quick smile, glad that our plan had actually worked, and then things seemed to be back to normal.

Bill, Gussi, and Georg went to go have their hair and makeup done but Tom stayed for a bit, and I talked to him.

“So he’s fine that you’re with Bea?” I asked.

“Ja…actually. He kinda always knew…” Tom smiled at me.

“And that was it?”

“Well we kinda just sat there for a half hour, neither of us talking or moving and then Gussi was like ‘this is pointless’ and I said it was too. And we talked for awhile and I felt bad and he forgave me, saying that he wasn’t sure Bea was the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with anyway, because he knew she still had feelings for me but at first he just didn’t wanna admit it.”

I wanted to bring up what I’d overheard the night before, but I was kinda reluctant. Tom went into the back to grab another hat and his guitar and I stopped him before went off the bus.

“Tom, can I ask you something?”

“Ja.”

“Umm…I heard you…talking to Gussi last night,” I said, and Tom’s smile dropped a little.

“You did?”

“Yeah…I just wanted to talk to you about umm…did you really love me, Tomi?” I asked, trying to sound innocent so he wouldn’t be pressured.

“I…I did, but that was a long time ago.”

“And when you slept with me…”

His eyes went wide. “Tara, that was a huge mistake on my part. I swear I never should have done that. Are you mad at me for that? It happened so long ago.”

I shrugged, not really knowing what to say to that. “I guess I would be terribly mad at you if Bill had killed himself. And if he did we wouldn’t be where we are right now… I’m not mad at you Tom, just, if you loved me you should have told me, not pretend that you were all drunk and we both made that wrong decision to sleep together.”

He sat down on the couch and I sat next to him.

“You know who I am Tara. I’m a womanizer. You being with Bill was hard for me, because I’d never been in love before and I wasn’t sure what to do about it. And I wanted you, and I was such a whore back then I didn’t think twice about what was right against what I wanted.”

“But you really love Bea, then?”

“Ja and I…I keep making mistakes. I knew that she was with Bea but my brain kept telling me that I needed some of her right away and if I would have just waited and maybe listened to my heart me and her would have opened up to each other-away from the bedroom-and really confessed how we felt about each other,” his eyes were shiny with tears. “I’ve just done so many things wrong in my life.”

“Tom, we all do things we don’t intend. I never intended to marry Bill. I mean I was an obsessive fangirl. All I wanted was to get in his pants!”

Tom smiled and wiped away the single tear that fell down his face. “And look at all you’ve got. Two beautiful children, a huge apartment in New York City. You and Bill love each other so much and I want it to be my turn someday.”

For some reason I felt that love for Tomi was gonna come faster than we both thought.

“That life you have, I want to live it with Bea. I love her so much, and I don’t know how I ever could have lived without her.”

I smiled and gave him a hug. He hugged me back and held me tight for a few moments.

“I should really get out there and practice,” he sighed and got up off the couch.

I nodded. “I have to go get ready to work merch.”

“Aren’t you gonna watch the show?”

“I’ll watch some of it. It’s much better to go to concerts with Bea though,” I smiled and got up off the couch too. “Are you okay Tom?”

He nodded and smiled. “I feel better now that I talked to you.”

“I’m always here if you need to talk. Remember that.”

“I will.”