Five O' Clock Shadow

"How come you haven't called me all weekend?" Lucy asked angrily on Monday morning.

"I've been sick. I couldn't talk."

"You could have at least texted me."

"You know how I feel about texting. Give me a break Lucy, okay? I just got better."

She "hmphed" and sat back in her seat. I turned up the radio to show her I had absolutely no problem with the silence. I was dreading going to school the whole ten minute ride. I knew Mylo would be there, right next to my spot. He never came to talk to me, we weren't really friends. We were casual acquaintances. Him and Lucy, however were too close. Way too close for my liking, anyway.

When we pulled up to the parking lot, just as usual Mylo was sitting on his car, cross legged. When we got out of the car he jumped off, giving Lucy a quick hug before running over to me.

His hair in the morning was always wet and frizzy, and as he walked toward my it bounced. I stepped back when he came to a stop in front of me.

"Sup?"

What an idiot. "Nothing. You."

"Everything," he answered, turning and walking with Lucy.

I kept a safe distance behind. He was so... strange. Why was I attracted to him?

I am not attracted to him. I'm just curious. It's completely natural.

I was so deep in thought I hadn't realized Lucy had walked into her class without saying goodbye to me.

"You guys are fighting," Mylo told me.

"I guess."

"She's mad at you,"

"I guess."

"You couldn't care less."

"I guess," he answered with me. I glared at him.

"You've got to lighten up cuz. Your attitude is bad for your health," he said, as he patted my back and walked away.

I looked up after willing away the blush from my cheeks and saw Travis staring right at me. He was leaning against a locker, with his arms crossed. His curly hair was in his eyes and he smirked at me. I averted my eyes and walked faster. The thing with Travis is that I knew him. When we had our.. fling in 9th grade, I got really close to him. Closer then I have ever gotten with anyone besides Lucy. I knew that the look in his eyes and the smirk on his lips meant he knew something. He knows, and God, I want to punch him.

"How's Lucy?" Travis's voice came from behind me.

My face got red with anger. "Fine."

"That's good," he said, walking me into a deserted class room. "But I don't really care about that. How are you?"

"Right now I'm pretty angry. If you left I'd be fine though," I said, trying to get out the door. He blocked my way.

"Let me out," I said through gritted teeth.

He looked at me and the smirk left his lips. His eyes turned genuinely sad.

"You know, Luke, I still care about you. And I see you a lot. I haven't seen you smile.. since well, we were dating."

"We were never dating."

"You keep telling yourself that," the smirk came back to his lips. That was Travis for you, always taunting. "When are you going to be honest with yourself?"

"I am being honest! I'm happy!"

"You don't smile!"

"Yes, I smile all the time. What, do you stalk me or something?" I was shaking a little bit now. Not enough for him to notice though.

"I mean one of your smiles, Luke. The one that brightens up your whole face. If you're not going to be honest with yourself, at least be honest with Lucy. She's a nice girl. She doesn't deserve this. You know what I'm talking about."

I just stood there, shaking my head. "I fucking hate you."

"I know you don't mean that."

"Fag," I said to him. I looked right in his eyes.

"It would hurt more if I didn't know why you were saying that, I hope this new guy helps you realize what's important," he said lowly, walking out the door.

When he left I sat at a desk, calming my shaking body. Inhale, exhale. I started thinking about 9th grade, and Travis. His hair wasn't as long back then, but it was still curly. The sun made his hair blonder then it was sometimes. He had the brownest eyes I'd ever seen on anyone, and if you looked into them long enough you'd feel like you were falling. He always smelled like grass and wood, and he always was working outside. He hated the indoors.

I remembered when I started hating him.

"You know, Luke, I may very well be falling in love with you."

Those words... how they had made my heart jump. Because I felt the same way. I was falling in love. I was so, so happy. Then I realized, he was a boy. A boy and a boy getting married? There's no room for a dress in there. There's no room for a baby. I imagined my mothers voice in my head. "Why my son?" So I ended it. I was the happiest I had ever been, happier then I could ever imagine being ever again, and I ruined it purposely.

"You like sitting in dark rooms by yourself a lot, cuz?" a voice interrupted my thoughts.