‹ Prequel: Damaged
Speak And Mean It
speak and mean it
I blinked rapidly as the breaking dawn spread over Maryland. Clumsily I climbed the porch steps. Exhausted from running all night, my mind still burned from the lying. I could taste the heat of the last gulp of Grey Goose I had forced down earlier. I looked at the clock, it was three A.M. Noisily I opened the screen door and went upstairs to my room.
Turning off last Christmas's twinkle lights that hang around my walls, I fell into bed.
I let my mind drift lazily to last night. I choked up on seeing Bobby's face twisted as I told him the convoluted story for my lateness.
I thought of Joel, how his quirky ways of getting into your thoughts fascinated my curious outlook.
I went back to last night. I recalled:
1) Telling the boys my story on why I was out so late to Brandon's birthday convening last week, trying to pass the fact that I was with Joel. I had lied horribly.
2) Bryan tumbling into me...drowning me in his sweet scent...of the murky hazel smell of wet Earth...the heat of a hand on your shoulder in the worst of times...running to your big brother with a bully problem. I don't know why I reacted so fondly to it.
3) Brandon's stalker behavior.
I heard a thud. I lifted my tired, half open eyes to the window above me. A tapping sounded, shrill yet calming. "Come in." I said sleepily. I squirmed over as a big black combat boot attached to a long muscular leg slid in. Then a lithe torso as well. Soon the other long muscular leg came in. After a bit of shuffling, two abnormally broad shoulders clunked in through the window Payne, followed by a head of shaggy black hair. "Ello, love." he said in his lycan speech, British in his husky tenor voice, with a touch of french.
"Hello Brandon." I sighed as he came in and layed next to me. I smiled, you would have to pull a complete Spider-man to literally crawl up the siding, if you made the jump up to the ledge that is. But he could do it, He's always been able to.
He smiled.
For a while, he just looked at me, taking in all of my features I guess. I did the same.
He has a pretty face, sharp features, a fitting nose, clear skin, pink pouted lips. Bluish smoke eyes that turn black when he's wolf. I put my hand on his face. He breathed a shaky breath, out of arousal probably, I rolled my eyes, I only wanted to feel how cool his skin was, not invite anything. He raised his hand to me, I half expected it to go down to my breasts but surprisingly he just brushed a piece of my now-short hair from my face. He looked into my eyes. I was a little shocked, was the old Brandon coming back??? He put his face into my cheek, outlining the bone with his nose, then layed his head on my chest. Not in a sleazy way, more like a 'I-want-to-listen-to-your-heart' way. I was a little more surprised at how he didn't make any passes at me whatsoever.
He began to hum something acoustic under his breath. I listened intently.
He began to sing some words in a soft melodious voice...
"Is that seat taken?...Congratulations....would you like
to take a walk?"
I quietly gasped with glee, it was an old Blue October song he'd always sing to me. Whether it was in front of everyone, or alone on his guitar. He began again...
"My mind it kind of goes fast....I'll try to slow it down for you. I'd really like
to take a walk. I'd like to give you something I've been wanting to give to you for years...."
"My heart." he choked out.
He always stopped there. I've been given the chance to listen to the rest on the CD, but I want him to sing it to me...in his own time.
"La, la, la." he said lowly. He always did. He smiled a sheepish smile up at me, but his eyes were sad.
He stroked my cheek and layed back down, head on my chest. And exhaled a shaky breath again. I rolled my eyes once more, but then he breathed another, and another...then I realized he was crying.
I stopped a moment. Yes, he was crying. "Brandon? Hey...hey...love...are you OK?" I asked softly.
"Yes, I'm OK." he replied convincingly. The tear stains were bleaching his face. He knew. "Will things always be this way with us?" he asked sighing, "It always has been." I said, but he knew exactly what was happening...he was losing me to Joel. He nodded, "I mean even until I'm gone." I looked at him, "Your not going anywhere and neither am I." I said sternly. My mind burned and swiveled from the lie. "Speak and mean it love." he said smiling a wry smile. Damn he was good.
He rolled over on to his back, I curled up next to him. Put my head on his chest.
"You've just gotten so...different. Aggressive." I said in a whisper, "No I haven't, I've gotten older. But I'm always going to be nicer to you. From now on." he said. I pursed my lips, I've heard that one before. He'll go back to his old self tomorrow around the pack. He stroked the top of my head, playing with my hair. "You're lovely." he smiled, "Le' Les don Te 'me lave no sen let." he murmured sleepily in lycan. "Speak and mean it love." I mumbled.
And we slept...
Turning off last Christmas's twinkle lights that hang around my walls, I fell into bed.
I let my mind drift lazily to last night. I choked up on seeing Bobby's face twisted as I told him the convoluted story for my lateness.
I thought of Joel, how his quirky ways of getting into your thoughts fascinated my curious outlook.
I went back to last night. I recalled:
1) Telling the boys my story on why I was out so late to Brandon's birthday convening last week, trying to pass the fact that I was with Joel. I had lied horribly.
2) Bryan tumbling into me...drowning me in his sweet scent...of the murky hazel smell of wet Earth...the heat of a hand on your shoulder in the worst of times...running to your big brother with a bully problem. I don't know why I reacted so fondly to it.
3) Brandon's stalker behavior.
I heard a thud. I lifted my tired, half open eyes to the window above me. A tapping sounded, shrill yet calming. "Come in." I said sleepily. I squirmed over as a big black combat boot attached to a long muscular leg slid in. Then a lithe torso as well. Soon the other long muscular leg came in. After a bit of shuffling, two abnormally broad shoulders clunked in through the window Payne, followed by a head of shaggy black hair. "Ello, love." he said in his lycan speech, British in his husky tenor voice, with a touch of french.
"Hello Brandon." I sighed as he came in and layed next to me. I smiled, you would have to pull a complete Spider-man to literally crawl up the siding, if you made the jump up to the ledge that is. But he could do it, He's always been able to.
He smiled.
For a while, he just looked at me, taking in all of my features I guess. I did the same.
He has a pretty face, sharp features, a fitting nose, clear skin, pink pouted lips. Bluish smoke eyes that turn black when he's wolf. I put my hand on his face. He breathed a shaky breath, out of arousal probably, I rolled my eyes, I only wanted to feel how cool his skin was, not invite anything. He raised his hand to me, I half expected it to go down to my breasts but surprisingly he just brushed a piece of my now-short hair from my face. He looked into my eyes. I was a little shocked, was the old Brandon coming back??? He put his face into my cheek, outlining the bone with his nose, then layed his head on my chest. Not in a sleazy way, more like a 'I-want-to-listen-to-your-heart' way. I was a little more surprised at how he didn't make any passes at me whatsoever.
He began to hum something acoustic under his breath. I listened intently.
He began to sing some words in a soft melodious voice...
"Is that seat taken?...Congratulations....would you like
to take a walk?"
I quietly gasped with glee, it was an old Blue October song he'd always sing to me. Whether it was in front of everyone, or alone on his guitar. He began again...
"My mind it kind of goes fast....I'll try to slow it down for you. I'd really like
to take a walk. I'd like to give you something I've been wanting to give to you for years...."
"My heart." he choked out.
He always stopped there. I've been given the chance to listen to the rest on the CD, but I want him to sing it to me...in his own time.
"La, la, la." he said lowly. He always did. He smiled a sheepish smile up at me, but his eyes were sad.
He stroked my cheek and layed back down, head on my chest. And exhaled a shaky breath again. I rolled my eyes once more, but then he breathed another, and another...then I realized he was crying.
I stopped a moment. Yes, he was crying. "Brandon? Hey...hey...love...are you OK?" I asked softly.
"Yes, I'm OK." he replied convincingly. The tear stains were bleaching his face. He knew. "Will things always be this way with us?" he asked sighing, "It always has been." I said, but he knew exactly what was happening...he was losing me to Joel. He nodded, "I mean even until I'm gone." I looked at him, "Your not going anywhere and neither am I." I said sternly. My mind burned and swiveled from the lie. "Speak and mean it love." he said smiling a wry smile. Damn he was good.
He rolled over on to his back, I curled up next to him. Put my head on his chest.
"You've just gotten so...different. Aggressive." I said in a whisper, "No I haven't, I've gotten older. But I'm always going to be nicer to you. From now on." he said. I pursed my lips, I've heard that one before. He'll go back to his old self tomorrow around the pack. He stroked the top of my head, playing with my hair. "You're lovely." he smiled, "Le' Les don Te 'me lave no sen let." he murmured sleepily in lycan. "Speak and mean it love." I mumbled.
And we slept...