Passin' Time

When the storms of the thirties hit us, many of the farming families packed up, sold whatever cattle they could and headed west for sunny Cal. The so-called Promised Land. Becaused it promised all the things that we didn't have in Oklahoma. Although there was one thing we had that nobody else could ever have for certain. We had the guarantee that forever we would be in a state of recovery, if not worse.

In the aftermath of the 'two day storm', my brother Jordie told me that one day he was going to ride up north to Colorado to see if the mountains were still standing.

My Ma said that was only 'cos Jordie wanted to ride around and be like a cowboy, with a whip and a stick and a bucket of beans on an old stoked fire. Our Jordie was never one for the imagination.

Jordie also told me that he'd heard a rumour the dirt and the dust had flown all the way up to Chicago. When he told me that I just laughed and said that it would give them city types a little insight in to the way we country folk were livin'. In the dirt, day in, day out, with the dirt turning the day into night.

My brother Johnny came home from the farm that same afternoon and with him he brought his good friend Andy Lou Reed. Andy Lou was the second oldest of six brothers and one sister - that was even more than me and Johnny had. His father, Mr Reed, had had a beautiful, big farm and had given my Daddy a job when he and Ma moved here from Texas. For a while the Reed farm had been mighty successful. But not even the greatest, most promising farm in the world can run without rain.

In my opinion, after we settled here we pretty much used up the land. The longer we were here, the more the soil just didn't wanna stick around in the ground no more. It seemed to be saying to us, 'You stuck to me, but now I'm sticking it to you.'

Mr Reeds' boys and my Daddy and two of my brothers worked at Lenny's farm now even though there was no need for them all. It would have more useful if they had stayed home and coaxed our little hen house into laying more than it was going to work sometimes.

"Where's Daddy and Jordie?" I asked as Johnny and Andy sat themselves down at the wooden table that was getting on for mid life. I got onto my knees then and took off Andy's boots for him, taking my time undoing the laces and carefully brushing off the dirt. Johnny did the same; it was lucky that both the back door and my kitchen window was open because them boys' feet reeked of sweat.

"They've gone fishing," Johnny informed me as he reached out for the beer I was passing him.

"Fishing?" I snorted, handing Johnny the other beer as Johnny passed the first to Andy. "There ain't been no fish in that water for five months. What's so special about today?"

"Your old man wanted to have himself a little talk with young Jordan," Andy Lou replied, sipping his beer and then wiping his mouth on the back of his sleeve. "He weren't impressed with his work today, and neither was my old man. He was sayin' your Jordie needs to git a kick up his backside."

"I see. Well your Dad would know all about that now, wouldn't he?"

Johnny let out a little laugh then and Andy pretended not to notice and just carried on sipping his beer. He scratched his ear slightly though and sniffed a little.

"God, what a day we've had though," said Johnny, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand and sighing heavily, the beer fresh on his breath. "Lenny was working us to the bone. We didn't get no breaks or nothing."

"Well, what did you expect Johnny?" cut in Andy, after gulping down his own beer, "You were late ag'in this morning as it is; we had to redo the roof which weren't gonna do itself and now you expect him to give you a break an' all?"

"As a matter of fact, I was held up this morning by something that I think you will find highly significant."

Johnny announced this word real proudly, looking around at us both to see what we thought of this.

"What the hell you talkin' about, Johnny?" Andy responded, giving me looks like he didn't give a damn whether Johnny told his story or he didn't.

"Well, me and my good friend Charlie the horse were beating that old dusty road to work, minding our own business when these two guys with boards and city suits hail us down, so I stops to see what the commotion's all about. And they wanted to know how much work there was going at Lenny's farm."

"Hope you told them they weren't gonna git nothing there!" Andy said, his abruptness causing Johnny to get a little angry.

"Course I did, what's the matter with you? Anyway, turns out they didn't wanna a job as much as they wanted to find out all about what's been goin' on around here. The 'two day storm' and the like."

"Who are these people, askin' you all these questions?" I asked, putting my hand on my hip to try and draw Andy's attention away from Johnny and his tales. "Seems a little bit out of the ordinary to me. Folks from round here all know what's going on."

"Well like I was saying, they ain't from round here, Adele you stupid girl. And they happened to be interested in what I had to say," Johnny said, the smug smile touching each ear.

"Oh, and what would that have been exactly?" Andy Lou asked him, his beer held precariously in his hands. "About how you think the river is gittin' filled up ag'in? Or did you tell them about them birds you think you saw flyin' backwards?"

As Andy Lou said the word, 'birds', he caught my eye and, my God, I just had to laugh!

Johnny brought his beer down on the table and a bit of foam spurted out onto my nicely cleaned surface.

"Damn it, I tell you I've seen birds flying backwards in them storms!"

"Ah, Johnny, you foolish boy, they were being blown backward by the storm," I retorted, throwing him the cloth from my belt as I was stirred up the bean casserole so it didn't stick to the pan. Even though I weren't supposed to, I heaved another spoonfull of butter into the mix. I'd seen Ma do that and I felt it added the necessary finishing touches to a meal. Besides, when you're living on beans and milk and cornbread alone, you'll do anything to make your food seem a bit more exciting. And if heaving a bit more butter into the mix was gonna do that, then that's what I was gonna do.

"It's only meant to be a joke Johnny! You've heard about the prairie dog digging down when he's sailing up twenty feet in the air. Or the one about the little boy from Nebraska that's never seen rain."

"What are you talkin' to me about jokes for, Adele, you ain't funny! You ain't never made a joke in your entire life!" Johnny snapped, flinging the wet cloth back at me so it slapped my right cheek.

"Adele, how is your Debra doin' up in Kansas? My mother specifically asked me to ask you," Andy Lou asked me, picking up the wet cloth that was now lying on the floor and handing it over to me.

"Ah, we ain't heard from her in weeks," Johnny told him shortly. "She and her guy ain't sent nothin' down neither. Lazy, good for nothin' - "

"Well Johnny Jason Rivers that's where you're wrong!" I replied.

My fingers fished into my apron pocket and brought out a letter which I tossed onto Johnny's lap; he snatched it up and began to peer at it, squinting as the afternoon shine shone on the page and into his eyes. "Jesus . . . Marty got a job? I can't believe it."

"I know!" I stepped up onto a stool by the shelves and lifted up a jar of old herbs Micheal'd found out on the steppe.

"What's that?" enquired Johnny, looking up at me on the stool.

I hopped down off the stool, leaning on Andy's outstretched shoulder so I did so with grace.

Then I stood beside them and counted one, two, three, four, five, six dollars out onto the table. Johnny dropped the letter on seeing the money and scooped it out, dealing it out to count again.

"Your Debra sent you all this?" Andy looked down at the money, like he wanted to hold it in his own hot hands.

"When did this arrive Adele?" Johnny asked me, picking up the letter once more.

"It arrived just after you boys went off to work," I told him.

I went to take the notes out of Johnny's hand but when I tried, he moved his hand backwards slightly, like a swing that stays suspended, waiting to fly forward and drive a pair of feet into your stomach.

"Wait just a second Adele - hey, hey!" He batted my hand away with the one he had free. "Now . . . it is my belief that there are six dollars here."

I raised up my hands, tracing a retorical insult with a shrug.

"Now . . . it is also my belief that me and Dad are the only ones that work around here - "

"Excuse me? What is it you're gettin' at Johnny?" I asked, putting my hands on my hips once more only this time it was not to direct Andy Lou's attention onto myself. "You think them clothes you're wearin' washed themselves, now do ya? You got the slightest idea of how impossible it is to keep a house clean when there's all this damn dust flyin' about?!"

"My point is," Johnny was speaking with an unusual amount of thought going across his face, "We are the workers. And Debra don't live here no more."

I glanced at Andy too see what he was makin' of all this and then straight back at Johnny. "Yeah?"

"So it is my belief that this money is a bonus and should therefore be treated as such by the aforementioned - " again, Johnny stopped to bask, " - workers."

My mouth hung open, as though I were looking at a fish and very much trying to imitate its dying cousin. Then - "Ow!"

Johnny let out a short yelp as I nipped him under the arm before whipping the notes straight out of his hand. "Gimme that back! Little bastard. Tryin'a cheat me and Ma outta six dollars!"

"Hey, I weren't tryin'a cheat nobody!" Johnny insisted, watching me as I slipped the dollars back into my apron pocket. "I was just sayin' - "

"Yeah? Well save it." I told him. "I don't know. Does your family try and steal from each other, Andy?"

Andy Lou Reed laughed. "We ain't got nothing to steal. Except our sense of humours. And nobody want mine anyway."

"I ain't surprised," Johnny was wearing his scowl all over his face.

"Don't be grumpy Johnny. Here." I put down the end of the cornbread in front of him. "Get that down ya. I ain't got no use for it. Andy, will you be havin' some an' all?"

"Adele, you are as sweet as they come." Andy took the plate I was passing him and handed me his empty beer glass. "Johnny, are you grateful for this little angel? I tell ya, my sister won't even pass me the jug."

"Adele, will you fetch me my baccy tin from the den?" Johnny asked, swallowing his mouth full of cornbread hungrily.

I moved down the passage slowly so as to hear what they were sayin'.

"Ain't she great, Johnny? I tell ya, my sister - "

"Oh, I'm sick and tired of hearin' all about your damn sister and what she does and don't for you. And you shouldn't be encouraging her neither. Girl's already got a mouth on her like a damn snake."

"Well, at least you know she ain't gonna go running off no place, like your Debra."

"Debra ain't welcome here no more. Up and leavin' like that. I'm still surprised that our Dad is entertaining the thought of her coming back for Christmas - "

I went into the den. It took me a couple of minutes to find the baccy tin. Johnny had left it under a pile of papers on Daddy's desk. Just tucked to the side next to his banjo was the last letter from Debra back in November.

Back in September, right before she left, I remember a conversation with Debra about Jesus. We were sitting on the gate, and my legs were dangling quite far off the ground. Debra could almost touch it, even without her summer sky blue heels.

I asked her plainly, "Debra, do you believe in Jesus?"

Debra looked up over her head and breathed in long and deep. "Maybe. Maybe not."

"Do you believe that Jesus wandered in the desert, to find the devil?"

"I don't think Jesus needed to go to no desert to find a devil, Adele. Devils are everywhere."

"You got that right Debra!" Ma appeared from behind us and tapped Debra on the back with her walking stick. "And he sticks to you like the sweat on the back on that shirt of yours. What are you doing wearing your best shoes out here for? You wanna ruin 'em?"

"Ma," I asked, "Who do you reckon is prettier? Me or Debra?"

Ma put her arm around. "Oh darlin', you don't need to go worryin' about being pretty. You got that head of yours screwed on real tight."

"And that's a very nice way of answerin' your question, now isn't it?" Debra leaned forward and immediately her legs brought her straight down to the ground. Standing up, I saw that she was leaner than ever before. Even without her summer sky blue heels.

"If you don't shut that smart mouth of yours, I'll give you something to sing about. Now git outta here, Missy. I'm sick of the sight of you." She raised her voice as Debra got further and further up the path towards the house. "How that boyfriend of yours manages to stand you I'll never know. Now, I want that kitchen spotless when I git inside!"

The front door swung shut behind Debra. Ma shook her head. "That girl . . . I don't know where she gits that mouth of hers from. It certainly ain't from my side of the family."

"I don't like her boyfriend," I said, moving so I was leaning on my Ma's shoulders as I sat. "He is a pain in the ass."

"You got that right, my darlin' Adele."

"But what does he see in her?"

Ma shifted slightly, the arm around dropping onto the gate so her hands linked up.

"Well, I think it's pretty much just about what he sees, actually, darlin'."

*

"There you are, with my baccy tin!" Johnny greeted me crossly from the kitchen as I walked back in. "Andy has already rolled me one from his."

"Adele, if it's not too much trouble, would you mind gitting me another beer?"

I handed both Andy and Johnny another glass and the three of us went and sat out on the porch. We had had a rocking chair out there before but that got beaten in to a thousand pieces by one of the storms when little Michael forgot to bring it in. Daddy was mighty annoyed about that.

"Why are you smoking them damn things anyway?"

Andy looked up at me, possibly because I don't usually swear like that. "What do ya mean?"

"I just mean that there's enough ash in the air without you boys breathing it straight down into your lungs."

Johnny laughed, breathing out a long line of chiselled smoke into the dry afternoon air.

"Come on, Adele, have a drag on mine. Your Ma ain't gonna be home for another twenty minutes."

"No that's all right Andy. I am a lady, like my Ma."

Johnny laughed again, only this time he looked at me as he did. "Adele, Ma smokes out here with us all the time."

"You're lying. Ma don't smoke."

"I'm tellin' you, it's the truth. Andy'll tell ya."

I looked expectantly at Andy, waiting to see by his cheeks if Johnny was a parson or a prisoner.

"As I live an' breathe, I have given your Ma many of my own."

"Hmmph."

I sat down next to Andy, having the chance to watch him closely as he smoked. Smoking is a curious past-time. The way you sucked it in, and then breathed it out. Seemed like a lot of trouble for a bit of smoke.

"Come on, Adele baby, take a little drag on that - that's it. Now you're getting it."

"Ah-ker-her!" I took the cigarette away from my lips and swallowed over and over again to try and ease the cough that was teasing the top of my lungs.

"Ha ha, Adele's got the old smoking bug now!" Johnny laughed, hitting me on the back so that I ended up on my backside in the dirt.

Andy went to get up but I had already scrambled up onto my feet. It was then I heard the gate at the front of the house. "Daddy! That's Daddy!"

"Hey!" Andy cried - I had thrown the cigarette onto the floor and dashed back inside. I liked to have my Daddy's beer ready for him when he got in.

I hurried through the den which led out to the back door and walked into the kitchen where my breath got stuck on my tongue. With my hand closed around the six notes in my apron pocket, I went to give my Daddy the good news.