Just a Freak

Poached eggs are great.

Especially when the yolk is runny.

Then you can dip your toast in the yolk.

Is that gross?

There's been grosser.

I remember my Dad ate eggs with ketchup.

That's gross.

Happy Saturday.

I need to stay home today.

I need to relax.

I feel like I'm missing something.

I had another dream about Bobby last night.

We were all at a carnival.

And Bobby got lost.

And I spent the entire time looking for him, even though I wanted to go off and hang out with Dirk and his friends.

I had to find Bobby.

I never did.

Caleb called me up around noon and asked if I wanted to come with him and Brian to go see some movie.

No idea what movie it was.

Either it was, like, some Batman movie or Harry Potter. Both are pretty cool but I decided to say no.

I don't really know why.

I wonder what they're doing in the theatre.

Not in a perverted way, I'm just wondering.

Like, does Brian talk during movies?

Because Caleb does.

Boy, does he fucking talk.

Then again, I've never been to the movie theatre with Caleb, so maybe it doesn't talk as much there.

Are they holding hands?

Why am I even wondering this?

I think Brian and Caleb are sort of perfect.

I don't know.

Dirk and me are messy and chaotic and kind of.... forced.

Brian and Caleb seem to take life one step at a time.

It makes me kind of jealous.

Brian is so nice.

Not that Dirk isn't, it's just...

They're both very different.

And to be honest, I like Brian better.

I like my friend's boyfriend more than I like my own boyfriend.

Isn't that confusing?

I would never try to, like, seduce Brian or whatever, though.

I couldn't.

He's, like, gay and all.

You can't seduce gay people.

Unless you're gay too.

Uh. I'm a little confused now.

I don't know.

It's all confusing.

Suddenly I hate myself.

I hate myself so much.

I hate myself the most.

More than I hate my Mom and my Dad and Connie and Mr. Geiger and Jason and....

Oh, my God.