Just a Freak

"I'm sorry."

I came into school that day alone.

Quiet.

Feeling different.

The blocks dragged on tediously, dangerously, terribly.

"How're you doing, Riley?" Mr. Geiger asked me.

God.

I wish I could go back to when he was the only man I cared about.

It seems so long ago.

Had it really been just a few months since then?

Jeez.

"I'm fine, Mr. G," I said to him. "Just a little tired."

He gave me a funny look. He doesn't believe me.

I saw Caleb in the hallway.

He was here.

It was so nice to see him.

He came over and gave me a hug.

Because I told him what happened.

It was all I could do to keep from crying right there in the hallway.

But I didn't.

I told Caleb Brian was probably looking for him.

Caleb told me he had a hunch that I needed him more than Brian did.

But I made him look for Brian anyway.

Because I can't have Caleb ignoring Brian.

I can't.

All day I'd been trying to figure out whether I should tell someone like Connie what happened or not.

Maybe I'm being a drama queen.

Maybe it's not that big a deal.

Lunch. I didn't eat much.

I kept thinking about how right now I'd probably be sitting with Dirk and one of his friends.

But here I am.

All alone.

In the corner.

Brian and Caleb are in the Art room.

Let them be.

I don't feel right.

It's as if I've been floating in subconscious the entire day; not quite asleep, but not quite awake.

Sitting there, eating a sticky grilled cheese sandwich with a chocolate milk (Ellie Butler, six years old, missing since October 4th; good luck finding her).

Alone.

Till now.

"I'm sorry."

Oh, God.