Illegally in Love

I heaved a sigh and pushed my front door open. “Mom! I’m home!” I shouted.

Nothing.

I furrowed my brow and dropped my bag by the front door, kicking off my yellow chucks. ”Mom?”

Still nothing.

Where the hell is she? I thought.

I searched the entire house, and no mom, the only place left that was unchecked was the downstairs bathroom. Guess where I went next.

“Mom?” I slowly opened the bathroom door, reviling my mother, staring into the mirror, into oblivion.

“Are you okay?” I murmured, relived I found her. I may hate my mother and she may hate me, but she’s the only parent I really have, I can’t lose her.

“I’m sorry Chandler.” she whispered, almost incoherently.

“What? What are you sorry for?” I knew she had a lot to be sorry for, but her ever admitting that was almost a fantasy. I stepped closer to her, not touching her, afraid to touch her and set her off.

“You know why, Chandler. I’m sorry, I’m such a horrible mother. I’m sorry that your whole life, every time you see me I’m high, or drunk, or shooting up. I’m sorry when you get home from school I don’t ask you how your day was or give you a kiss. But most of all I’m sorry I’ve never told you what a good daughter you’ve been. Always taking my crap, never giving me shit. Being a straight A student. Everything you’ve done to try to make me notice you, and I haven’t. Well now I notice you Channy. I notice that you’ll be better off without me…” By this time she and I were both in tears, I took two hesitant steps towards her, I didn’t like the feeling I was getting from this conversation.

“NO! Stop Channy, just stop!” I, of course, stop walking towards her. “I’m doing this for you Channy.” I was confused, until I saw it. The gun. She had a fucking gun. She slowly raised it and pointed it at me. “I love you, Chandler, my baby, that’s why I’m doing this. It’s all for you. This will hurt, but you’ll live. It’s just precautionary, don’t want you stopping me do we?”

I was about to yell at her to stop, to not do what she was going to do, but it was too late. I heard a loud bang as a shooting pain shot through my shoulder.

I fell to the floor, groaning as silent tears rolled down my face. I looked up to my mother to see her sobbing. She kneeled down next to me, and kissed my forehead.

“I love you Chandler Louise Wentz. I love you more then life itself,” she stood up and redirected the gun under her chin, tears still flowing down her face. ”That’s why I’m doing this, you are going to have a better life then this! You will! And when I pull this trigger, call 911 for yourself.” She tossed the house phone in front of me. ”I Love you Channy. I always will. Goodbye.”

A loud shot rang out as did my cries as my mothers blood splattered all over me, the mirror, and the roof. I sobbed harder then I ever thought possible. They wrecked my body to the point to where I was shaking, hard, my mothers blood in my mouth.

I grabbed the phone and crawled over in pain to mother. I put her bloodied head into my lap, as I called 911.

“Hello, Chicago Police Department, what’s your emergency?”

“YOU HAVE TO HELP ME! MY MOTHER JUST SHOT HERSELF IN THE HEAD AND I’M SHOT IN THE SHOLDER! PLEASE HELP!” I shouted between sobs into the phone.

“Okay, what’s your address?” I gave it to her. “The ambulance is on its way.”

I hung up, feeling woozy. I ran my good hand in my mother’s hair as silent tears ran down my face.

As soon as I was able to hear the ambulance sirens, I passed out.