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Purple Hearts
The Rumours Are True
Two weeks later…
Waking up and laying on my back my hand travelled to my stomach. I was now about six weeks pregnant and hadn’t been for a check up yet or told anyone. The only person that knew about this was Charlie and he had approached me last night to ask what I was going to do about the situation.
I’d told him that I could handle it and to leave me to sort it out my way. I had been avoiding him recently because he knew about the baby and even though I didn’t want to forget I’d been cheating myself thinking that may be everything would go away.
Of course it wouldn’t I just had to something about it now.
Dad was on the phone two or three times a day to someone and it was bugging me who it was. Mostly he said it was Rob Cavallo or sometimes Mike but I could just tell it wasn’t and I wondered what the hell he was up to. He always laughed when he was taking one of those calls and his face lit up and I wondered if he had a woman somewhere. First of all I thought it was Adrienne but only yesterday the phone went and Adrienne was with us so then I knew that it couldn’t have been her.
Adrienne had brought some clothes round for me to try on and when I put the blouse on I couldn’t do a couple of the buttons up. My breasts had grown and she’d just laughed it off. I had never had much up the top and now I was pregnant it seemed they’d grown tenfold. No one had noticed because I usually lived in baggy t-shirts but Adrienne said she’d have to get the tops altered.
I’d felt embarrassed but she didn’t say anything about it, just quietly put the clothes back onto the clothes hangers and said that she would alter them herself that night.
Dad had embarrassed me by announcing our engagement in the local paper. Then the next day it had made the national newspapers and there was a picture of me taken at the Grammy’s last year and one of Gerard when he had his blonde hair, ages ago and the wording said something about “the coming together of two rock stars would be wonderful thing for music.”
Again, every time there was something of me in the paper they had to show a picture of mum too and I think this pissed Dad off a little as she’d hated being in the paper when she was alive.
Gerard was fine about the announcement but I felt weird about it. We’d decided that we didn’t want a party or anything, Gerard just surprised me the day after I’d told him that I would marry him by calling me over to his place once more and giving me a ring. It was a small solitaire diamond, very beautiful and obviously expensive.
My hand travelled to my ring and twisted it around my finger. It was slightly large and at some point I would need to get it altered so it didn’t fall off.
That night I’d slept with Gerard again at his apartment and every time I was with him I could forget for just a little while all my worries, the worry of being pregnant and also the gun that was still in the wardrobe. Adrienne hadn’t spoken about it again and I was sure that she’d put it to the back of her mind and probably thought that I’d already got rid of it. Well I hadn’t and I didn’t know where to put it.
All Dad kept going on about was the wedding and I think it was because that was all he had to think about at that moment. He missed playing in the band, Mike was busy with Aunt Jen and Billie was wherever, so Dad had loads of spare time to just think about things.
Ramona had settled in well but I was concerned about the conversation I’d had with her the day before.
I was just getting dressed when I thought I could hear a knock at the door. Then glancing at Milton I realised it was a knock on the door because his ears had pricked up.
“Come in,” I said expecting Dad to come barging in, or rather falling in the door as he usually did finding something or anything to trip up on, that was Dad.
But it was Ramona and she poked her head around the door. Her hair with the purple streak just like mine hanging down.
”Hey,” I said to her. “You OK?” I said as I folded some clothes and put them away in a drawer.
“Not really Franky, can I talk to you?” she said.
“Of course you can,” I said to her. “Come in.”
”She came in and sat down on the bed looking up at me sheepishly. Milton went over to her and she nuzzled at his ears and this relaxed her a bit.
“What’s wrong, you look upset?” I asked her.
”Franky does Dad hate me?” She said out of the blue.
”What?” I said spinning round and looking at her. “Don’t be stupid,” I said going and sitting down beside her, Milton getting in between us knowing that this was the ideal opportunity for him to get double cuddles.
“Its just that… he’s hardly spoken to me since I came here.” She said.
I had noticed this and had approached Dad about it. I said he would have to make a little be more effort with Ramona, get to know her real well as she was going through a lot of confusion at the moment.
“Ramona he doesn’t hate you, you mustn’t think like that,” I said. “Dad loves you, he loves all of us.”
“I don’t think he likes me then.”
I laughed.
“I think he’s unsure of how to act about you and he’s on his best behaviour because you are living here do you realise this?” I said.
“He’s changed since the last time I saw him,” she said.
”May be he has got things on his mind,” I said looking away but knowing she was right. Dad had changed. When I had come back from England I thought he was doing well but I since wondered if it was an act. I know he often thought of Mum but having Green Day break up was like a loss to him I was sure of it. I was sure that he was grieving for his lost band.
“Ramona you know there is something going out in the newspapers tomorrow don’t you?” I asked.
“What about?” She said.
She had no idea and I really thought that Dad would have told her.
“The rumours.” I said. “You must have heard them.”
“Oh those stupid rumours, the ones about Green Day splitting up,” she said rolling her eyes as if it was impossible.
“Yes those rumours,” I said back to her.
“What about them? Are they getting a lawyer onto the case or something about all the lies that have been going around? I don’t blame them, people shouldn’t go round just making stuff up like that, its wrong.”
“The rumours are true.” I said.
“No way,” said Ramona looking wide-eyed at me. “Stop messing Franky how can Dad and Uncle Mike and Uncle Billie finish Green Day? Its… stupid.” She said not knowing what else to say.
“It happened a couple of months ago. It’s all very mutual but I think Dad misses them and all they got up to.”
“Poor Dad,” said Ramona.
”I feel sorry for him too so this is why I think he’s changed, he has things on his mind and he misses what they had. It’s got nothing to do with you at all,” I said to her.
“I can’t believe it. They’ve been together forever. Can’t we stop this thing going out to the newspapers?” Said Ramona looking expectantly.
“I’m not sure. Dad is dealing with it.”
“May be you and me could get them back together,” she said.
“How do you propose we do that?” I said wishing that we could do something but knowing it wasn’t going to happen.
“I don’t know. I’m going to speak to Dad about it.”
“You know what Ramona? I think that will be a good idea, it may get Dad to open up a little and to tell you the reasons for why they’re splitting up.”
She looked happier then after our conversation.
**
Rolling onto my side and pulling the cover higher over me I wondered if she did get to speak to him about it. I think she had because they were laughing and joking together at the dinner table as though they were sharing a secret.
I could hear a distant phone ringing in the house but knew there were enough people around to answer it so just drifted off to sleep again.
**
”Hannah’s coming round in about half an hour,” said Dad poking his head around the door. “Better get up lazy bones, she rang earlier but I said you’d probably be sleeping and you were.”
“OK,” I said yawning and stretching and knowing that I would have to get up at some point.
“Hey Dad have the papers come this morning?”
“Yes and…well the article isn’t in it.”
“No?”
“No. I put a stop to it last night, Ramona practically begged me to not release the statement. So I called up and they’ve stopped it.”
“So when are you going to tell everyone?” I said to him. “It’ll have to come out at some point.”
“I know, I know but at the moment I’m more interested in your sister, I think she needs some of my time don’t you?”
“You’re right,” I said thinking once again that I had the best Dad in the world. He was so cool.
“Hey when are you and my future son in law planning a date for this wedding? I could do with getting myself a selection of ties,” he said.
“Not sure, we haven’t come up with any dates,” I said to him, “may be next year some time.”
When my little baby will be one years old.
Shit I needed to tell someone soon but somehow it was much easier to brush it aside.
“See you downstairs sweetheart, I’ll have some toast ready for you,” Dad said just before he closed the door.
**
“So this is your little baby?” I said to Hannah looking at the picture of the scan that she was showing me.
“Yes and its going to be a little boy.” She said.
“Oh my god,” I said to Hannah, “a little boy. Have you and Ed thought of any names?”
“Well I have thought of a few but Ed doesn’t seem to want to discuss names yet, he says it’s too early.”
”So… what do you want to call him. Oh my god, a little baby boy. You’re going to be a Mom.”
And so am I.
“I quite like the name Samuel,” said Hannah.
“Oh,” I said my face dropping.
“What’s wrong?” said Hannah
”Nothing its just that… my little baby brother was Samuel and he died just after he was born. I never got to see him.”
And I’d decided that if I had a little boy, he would be called Samuel as a tribute to the little brother I’d never known.
“Oh I’m sorry, its only one of our choices,” said Hannah who had suddenly changed her mind thinking that was the name of Tre and Sammi’s son together. There was no way she was calling him Samuel now.
“Its your choice, don’t worry about me,” I said to her knowing that sooner or later I would have to go and have a scan done of my baby. Was I having a boy or girl? Oh my god I felt sick thinking about it.
This was real.
“Hey… how about we go shopping tomorrow, just have a little look for bridal gowns.” Said Hannah putting her hospital picture away in her bag.
“Oh it’s too soon Hannah,” I said glancing away.
“It’s never too soon to go wedding shopping. Come on, it will do you good, just take a look around and see what’s in the shops.”
”OK then, you’ve twisted my arm,” I said then sighed thinking it would do no harm and it would be good to get away from here for a bit.
**
Dad was on the house phone and had been on there for ages, laughing and smiling like he did when he was on his mobile. May be this was the person he spoke to about three times a day.
“Franky its your friend Julia from England, she wants to speak to you,” he said handing the phone over.
“Hi Julia,” I said into the phone.
“Hi Franky how have you been?”
“Good thanks,” I said.
Apart from being pregnant and hiding a gun in my wardrobe, yeah, good.
“So, when are you and Emily coming out? I can’t wait.”
“Next week,” said Julia “and I can’t wait either. Your father has been so good to us, he’s organised the flights and… I’m so embarrassed he’s insisting on paying.”
“Julia don’t worry about it, he can afford it and he likes to do things like that.” I said. This was Dad all over.
“Its so very kind of him, I’ll have to do something to make up for it,” she said very grateful.
I laughed then.
“Julia, please don’t offer to do something for Dad when you get here because you’ll just get a crude answer.”
“I’m definitely asking him then,” said Julia. “Anyway I must go, I haven’t told Emily the exact details and she’s just coming in the door now. See you next week then,” she said.
”Yes, I can’t wait,” I said to Julia.
“So how many times have you spoken to Julia?” I asked dad when I came off the phone.
“Two or three,” he said, “I helped arrange her flights because she wasn’t sure the best way to do it.”
“Is she the one who speaks to you on your mobile?” I said raising my eyebrows at him.
“What?” He said looking stunned and turning around.
“Your mobile phone, is it her that makes you laugh and smile about three times a day?” I said to him.
But his face changed instantly.
“Of course its not, I don’t know Julia that well. That’s Rob on the phone, I’ve told you before,” then Dad went off to the kitchen to busy himself with something.
I knew it wasn’t Rob; Dad was lying to me, but why would he lie? Who the hell was it?
**
Tre busied himself with making dinner in the kitchen. He remembered the conversation with Ramona the night before and it broke his heart as she told him she didn’t want the news about Green Day to go in the papers. It had changed his mind about things and then he’d told her the secret, the secret that he’d been keeping for a couple of weeks.
He was sure she would keep it for him.
He felt awful that he had told Ramona and not Franky but he felt that his youngest daughter needed this at this time.
The phone rang in the kitchen and he went to it.
“Tre its Adrienne,” he heard.
“Hi Adi, “ Tre said always pleased to hear from his old friend.
“Listen, I have a sitter for tomorrow evening. How about you come over and I cook you a meal to say thank you for everything?” she asked.
“You don’t have to…” said Tre.
“I’d like to,” she responded.
“Well how about you come here? Franky is going to Gerard’s for the evening and Ramona is going to my parents. We’ll have the place to ourselves so we can cook together and have a great evening, turn the music up loud and… do whatever we want really.” He said.
“Tre. What a lovely idea,” said Adrienne.
**
Walking away from the phone Adrienne had goose bumps all over thinking of Tre and all they could get up to tomorrow evening.
She was sure Tre felt the same way.
Waking up and laying on my back my hand travelled to my stomach. I was now about six weeks pregnant and hadn’t been for a check up yet or told anyone. The only person that knew about this was Charlie and he had approached me last night to ask what I was going to do about the situation.
I’d told him that I could handle it and to leave me to sort it out my way. I had been avoiding him recently because he knew about the baby and even though I didn’t want to forget I’d been cheating myself thinking that may be everything would go away.
Of course it wouldn’t I just had to something about it now.
Dad was on the phone two or three times a day to someone and it was bugging me who it was. Mostly he said it was Rob Cavallo or sometimes Mike but I could just tell it wasn’t and I wondered what the hell he was up to. He always laughed when he was taking one of those calls and his face lit up and I wondered if he had a woman somewhere. First of all I thought it was Adrienne but only yesterday the phone went and Adrienne was with us so then I knew that it couldn’t have been her.
Adrienne had brought some clothes round for me to try on and when I put the blouse on I couldn’t do a couple of the buttons up. My breasts had grown and she’d just laughed it off. I had never had much up the top and now I was pregnant it seemed they’d grown tenfold. No one had noticed because I usually lived in baggy t-shirts but Adrienne said she’d have to get the tops altered.
I’d felt embarrassed but she didn’t say anything about it, just quietly put the clothes back onto the clothes hangers and said that she would alter them herself that night.
Dad had embarrassed me by announcing our engagement in the local paper. Then the next day it had made the national newspapers and there was a picture of me taken at the Grammy’s last year and one of Gerard when he had his blonde hair, ages ago and the wording said something about “the coming together of two rock stars would be wonderful thing for music.”
Again, every time there was something of me in the paper they had to show a picture of mum too and I think this pissed Dad off a little as she’d hated being in the paper when she was alive.
Gerard was fine about the announcement but I felt weird about it. We’d decided that we didn’t want a party or anything, Gerard just surprised me the day after I’d told him that I would marry him by calling me over to his place once more and giving me a ring. It was a small solitaire diamond, very beautiful and obviously expensive.
My hand travelled to my ring and twisted it around my finger. It was slightly large and at some point I would need to get it altered so it didn’t fall off.
That night I’d slept with Gerard again at his apartment and every time I was with him I could forget for just a little while all my worries, the worry of being pregnant and also the gun that was still in the wardrobe. Adrienne hadn’t spoken about it again and I was sure that she’d put it to the back of her mind and probably thought that I’d already got rid of it. Well I hadn’t and I didn’t know where to put it.
All Dad kept going on about was the wedding and I think it was because that was all he had to think about at that moment. He missed playing in the band, Mike was busy with Aunt Jen and Billie was wherever, so Dad had loads of spare time to just think about things.
Ramona had settled in well but I was concerned about the conversation I’d had with her the day before.
I was just getting dressed when I thought I could hear a knock at the door. Then glancing at Milton I realised it was a knock on the door because his ears had pricked up.
“Come in,” I said expecting Dad to come barging in, or rather falling in the door as he usually did finding something or anything to trip up on, that was Dad.
But it was Ramona and she poked her head around the door. Her hair with the purple streak just like mine hanging down.
”Hey,” I said to her. “You OK?” I said as I folded some clothes and put them away in a drawer.
“Not really Franky, can I talk to you?” she said.
“Of course you can,” I said to her. “Come in.”
”She came in and sat down on the bed looking up at me sheepishly. Milton went over to her and she nuzzled at his ears and this relaxed her a bit.
“What’s wrong, you look upset?” I asked her.
”Franky does Dad hate me?” She said out of the blue.
”What?” I said spinning round and looking at her. “Don’t be stupid,” I said going and sitting down beside her, Milton getting in between us knowing that this was the ideal opportunity for him to get double cuddles.
“Its just that… he’s hardly spoken to me since I came here.” She said.
I had noticed this and had approached Dad about it. I said he would have to make a little be more effort with Ramona, get to know her real well as she was going through a lot of confusion at the moment.
“Ramona he doesn’t hate you, you mustn’t think like that,” I said. “Dad loves you, he loves all of us.”
“I don’t think he likes me then.”
I laughed.
“I think he’s unsure of how to act about you and he’s on his best behaviour because you are living here do you realise this?” I said.
“He’s changed since the last time I saw him,” she said.
”May be he has got things on his mind,” I said looking away but knowing she was right. Dad had changed. When I had come back from England I thought he was doing well but I since wondered if it was an act. I know he often thought of Mum but having Green Day break up was like a loss to him I was sure of it. I was sure that he was grieving for his lost band.
“Ramona you know there is something going out in the newspapers tomorrow don’t you?” I asked.
“What about?” She said.
She had no idea and I really thought that Dad would have told her.
“The rumours.” I said. “You must have heard them.”
“Oh those stupid rumours, the ones about Green Day splitting up,” she said rolling her eyes as if it was impossible.
“Yes those rumours,” I said back to her.
“What about them? Are they getting a lawyer onto the case or something about all the lies that have been going around? I don’t blame them, people shouldn’t go round just making stuff up like that, its wrong.”
“The rumours are true.” I said.
“No way,” said Ramona looking wide-eyed at me. “Stop messing Franky how can Dad and Uncle Mike and Uncle Billie finish Green Day? Its… stupid.” She said not knowing what else to say.
“It happened a couple of months ago. It’s all very mutual but I think Dad misses them and all they got up to.”
“Poor Dad,” said Ramona.
”I feel sorry for him too so this is why I think he’s changed, he has things on his mind and he misses what they had. It’s got nothing to do with you at all,” I said to her.
“I can’t believe it. They’ve been together forever. Can’t we stop this thing going out to the newspapers?” Said Ramona looking expectantly.
“I’m not sure. Dad is dealing with it.”
“May be you and me could get them back together,” she said.
“How do you propose we do that?” I said wishing that we could do something but knowing it wasn’t going to happen.
“I don’t know. I’m going to speak to Dad about it.”
“You know what Ramona? I think that will be a good idea, it may get Dad to open up a little and to tell you the reasons for why they’re splitting up.”
She looked happier then after our conversation.
**
Rolling onto my side and pulling the cover higher over me I wondered if she did get to speak to him about it. I think she had because they were laughing and joking together at the dinner table as though they were sharing a secret.
I could hear a distant phone ringing in the house but knew there were enough people around to answer it so just drifted off to sleep again.
**
”Hannah’s coming round in about half an hour,” said Dad poking his head around the door. “Better get up lazy bones, she rang earlier but I said you’d probably be sleeping and you were.”
“OK,” I said yawning and stretching and knowing that I would have to get up at some point.
“Hey Dad have the papers come this morning?”
“Yes and…well the article isn’t in it.”
“No?”
“No. I put a stop to it last night, Ramona practically begged me to not release the statement. So I called up and they’ve stopped it.”
“So when are you going to tell everyone?” I said to him. “It’ll have to come out at some point.”
“I know, I know but at the moment I’m more interested in your sister, I think she needs some of my time don’t you?”
“You’re right,” I said thinking once again that I had the best Dad in the world. He was so cool.
“Hey when are you and my future son in law planning a date for this wedding? I could do with getting myself a selection of ties,” he said.
“Not sure, we haven’t come up with any dates,” I said to him, “may be next year some time.”
When my little baby will be one years old.
Shit I needed to tell someone soon but somehow it was much easier to brush it aside.
“See you downstairs sweetheart, I’ll have some toast ready for you,” Dad said just before he closed the door.
**
“So this is your little baby?” I said to Hannah looking at the picture of the scan that she was showing me.
“Yes and its going to be a little boy.” She said.
“Oh my god,” I said to Hannah, “a little boy. Have you and Ed thought of any names?”
“Well I have thought of a few but Ed doesn’t seem to want to discuss names yet, he says it’s too early.”
”So… what do you want to call him. Oh my god, a little baby boy. You’re going to be a Mom.”
And so am I.
“I quite like the name Samuel,” said Hannah.
“Oh,” I said my face dropping.
“What’s wrong?” said Hannah
”Nothing its just that… my little baby brother was Samuel and he died just after he was born. I never got to see him.”
And I’d decided that if I had a little boy, he would be called Samuel as a tribute to the little brother I’d never known.
“Oh I’m sorry, its only one of our choices,” said Hannah who had suddenly changed her mind thinking that was the name of Tre and Sammi’s son together. There was no way she was calling him Samuel now.
“Its your choice, don’t worry about me,” I said to her knowing that sooner or later I would have to go and have a scan done of my baby. Was I having a boy or girl? Oh my god I felt sick thinking about it.
This was real.
“Hey… how about we go shopping tomorrow, just have a little look for bridal gowns.” Said Hannah putting her hospital picture away in her bag.
“Oh it’s too soon Hannah,” I said glancing away.
“It’s never too soon to go wedding shopping. Come on, it will do you good, just take a look around and see what’s in the shops.”
”OK then, you’ve twisted my arm,” I said then sighed thinking it would do no harm and it would be good to get away from here for a bit.
**
Dad was on the house phone and had been on there for ages, laughing and smiling like he did when he was on his mobile. May be this was the person he spoke to about three times a day.
“Franky its your friend Julia from England, she wants to speak to you,” he said handing the phone over.
“Hi Julia,” I said into the phone.
“Hi Franky how have you been?”
“Good thanks,” I said.
Apart from being pregnant and hiding a gun in my wardrobe, yeah, good.
“So, when are you and Emily coming out? I can’t wait.”
“Next week,” said Julia “and I can’t wait either. Your father has been so good to us, he’s organised the flights and… I’m so embarrassed he’s insisting on paying.”
“Julia don’t worry about it, he can afford it and he likes to do things like that.” I said. This was Dad all over.
“Its so very kind of him, I’ll have to do something to make up for it,” she said very grateful.
I laughed then.
“Julia, please don’t offer to do something for Dad when you get here because you’ll just get a crude answer.”
“I’m definitely asking him then,” said Julia. “Anyway I must go, I haven’t told Emily the exact details and she’s just coming in the door now. See you next week then,” she said.
”Yes, I can’t wait,” I said to Julia.
“So how many times have you spoken to Julia?” I asked dad when I came off the phone.
“Two or three,” he said, “I helped arrange her flights because she wasn’t sure the best way to do it.”
“Is she the one who speaks to you on your mobile?” I said raising my eyebrows at him.
“What?” He said looking stunned and turning around.
“Your mobile phone, is it her that makes you laugh and smile about three times a day?” I said to him.
But his face changed instantly.
“Of course its not, I don’t know Julia that well. That’s Rob on the phone, I’ve told you before,” then Dad went off to the kitchen to busy himself with something.
I knew it wasn’t Rob; Dad was lying to me, but why would he lie? Who the hell was it?
**
Tre busied himself with making dinner in the kitchen. He remembered the conversation with Ramona the night before and it broke his heart as she told him she didn’t want the news about Green Day to go in the papers. It had changed his mind about things and then he’d told her the secret, the secret that he’d been keeping for a couple of weeks.
He was sure she would keep it for him.
He felt awful that he had told Ramona and not Franky but he felt that his youngest daughter needed this at this time.
The phone rang in the kitchen and he went to it.
“Tre its Adrienne,” he heard.
“Hi Adi, “ Tre said always pleased to hear from his old friend.
“Listen, I have a sitter for tomorrow evening. How about you come over and I cook you a meal to say thank you for everything?” she asked.
“You don’t have to…” said Tre.
“I’d like to,” she responded.
“Well how about you come here? Franky is going to Gerard’s for the evening and Ramona is going to my parents. We’ll have the place to ourselves so we can cook together and have a great evening, turn the music up loud and… do whatever we want really.” He said.
“Tre. What a lovely idea,” said Adrienne.
**
Walking away from the phone Adrienne had goose bumps all over thinking of Tre and all they could get up to tomorrow evening.
She was sure Tre felt the same way.