Sequel: Hope

Purple Hearts

Its Cool To Check

Just as I was leaving the house to go to Adrienne’s, Dad and Charlie pulled up onto the driveway in Dad’s car.

“Hey you, lazy bones, you decided to wake up then?” Said Charlie getting out and coming over to me.

“Of course, I’m going to see Adrienne, she called up and said she wants to show me something,” I said as Dad joined us.

“Oh right,” Dad said knowingly. What the hell did he know? He obviously knew something I thought, my mind flashing back to overhearing his conversation with Adrienne yesterday.

“Oh Dad I wanted to ask you who was living next door now?” I said getting the car keys out from my bag.

“Oh, it’s just some guy on his own with his dog, the dog that Milton wants to get his leg over.” Dad said, smiling.

“So you’ve seen this guy then?” I asked.

“Well only to kind of wave hello to. I’ve not spoken to him, seems like he keeps himself to himself,” said Tre. “But it suits me,” he said shrugging and checking the caller ID on his phone that was ringing. A huge smile lit up Dad’s face but he didn’t answer the call just shouted out, “I’ll see you guys later,” then walked into the house.

“I’ll go put some of this shopping away,” said Charlie, “give my love to Adrienne,” said Charlie.

“Will that be love with a capital L,” I said winking at him

“Yeah.” Said Charlie a small smile appearing on his face. I laughed at his boyhood crush on Adrienne, bless the guy and there was Adrienne after my Dad. Wait until I told him THAT

“See you later on,” I said rolling my eyes and shaking my head as I walked to the car.

“Yep, take care Franky,” said Charlie then he was gone too.

**

I pulled up onto the Armstrong’s driveway in my little mini. I loved it here I thought looking up at the front of the house, I’d been here so many times in my life I’d lost count. Then for some reason the day that I came here and bleached Billie’s hair came to my mind. Nobody had ever found out that it was me that had done it; it was just after their American idiot tour had finished. Adrienne hadn’t wanted him to have it bleached but of course what Billie wanted, Billie seemed to get.

She suddenly appeared at the front door. I did love Adrienne but it wasn’t a great love. She was good and kind and had had her ups and downs in her life but now it seems she was after my father and it made me feel weird. They weren’t right together and I hoped that Dad behaved himself and didn’t take advantage of her. Who was right for Adrienne? Was it Billie? Yeah. He was right for her and he should be with her now I thought. They’d been together for so long it didn’t seem right that they should be apart.

Shutting the car door I walked towards her standing at the front door I thought she looked lonely and I wasn’t looking forward to what she had to say.

“Hi Franky, come on in and I’ll get you a coffee,” she said to me as I entered the house.

“Um… actually Adi could I just have a water,” I said kicking off my shoes at the doorway, the thought of coffee making me heave slightly.

“Water?” She said turning to me and frowning, “we have cherry cola, you’re favourite if you’d prefer that instead of a coffee,” she said walking off into the kitchen.

“No, water’s fine thanks Adi," I said following her into the kitchen, the thought of cherries making me feel sick once again. God it was so quiet here. Where were the boys?

“Its so quiet here,” I said. I had to know where everyone was, this house was usually so lively and there was always music playing or the sound of the TV or play station.

But… nothing.

“They’re at my parents, they went last week for a while but are back the day after tomorrow. They needed a little break,” said Adrienne going to the fridge and getting me out a bottle of water.

“Look Franky I have a few things to run by you, first of all Bono’s wife contacted me last week, she heard your song on the radio and contacted me. She remembers your mother very well.”

“Did she?” I said starting to laugh a little.

“Yeah, what’s so funny?” said Adrienne standing over by the fridge.

“My mum used to have a huge crush on Bono when she was younger, I found a book of hers, she wanted to marry him when she was young.”

Adrienne laughed.

“We’ve all had crushes in our time,” she said and I wondered if she remembered back to our conversation when she thought I had designs on Billie. I had. Except most people don’t get to sleep with their crushes.

“She asked me to approach you about something, its quite important and serious and I told her that I thought you’d be interested.”

“Oh, what’s that then?” I said. What on earth could Bono’s wife want with me?

“She wants to help set up a charity, a charity for breast cancer and she wants you involved because she thinks you’ll relate to the younger audience. She wants a symbol for young people to relate to and someone to relate to. She thinks that someone could be you. She wants to use your favourite symbol of a purple heart and make it into little pins, badges, little charms that hang off of phones, everyone has done the wristband thing, and she wants to try something else, sweatbands with hearts, headbands with hearts. She has this idea for a slogan and I said I would run it by you. ‘It’s Cool to Check.’ You know so that young girls check themselves on a regular basis. Would you do it Franky?”

I was shocked. Yeah. I wanted to do it, for my Mum and everyone else that has gone through it or were going through it.

I wanted to do it for those people.

“I’d love to. Tell her as soon as possible, I’d love to do it. I’m flattered.”

“I knew you’d react like that and I’m glad,” she said. “I’ll call her later.”

But she looked sad all of a sudden and I noticed her face change as she walked to the fridge.

“Is everything OK Adi?” I asked as I sat at the kitchen table.

Then she turned to me, looking at me as she walked towards the table and handed me a glass and the bottle of water.

“No, no Franky it’s not,” she said sighing and sitting down opposite me at the table.

“What is it?” I asked undoing the lid of the bottle of water and pouring some into the glass. I glanced up at her. “Is it the boys?”

“Um… no, they’re well, they’re having a great time at my parents, they have my brothers children there also. I’m glad they are out of the way at the moment.” She said.

“Oh really?” I said to her. Something was definitely wrong. Had something dreadful happened to Billie? My heart started pounding. Where the hell was he?

“Look its Billie,” said Adrienne going to one of the kitchen drawers and getting an envelope out of one of them.

“What about him?” I said taking a sip of the water. Did I really want to know about him? Of course I did.

“He’s gone,” she said slumping once again onto the chair and fingering the white envelope.

“Gone?” I said frowning across at her but she wasn’t looking at me just carried on glancing at the envelope.

“Yes, gone and we don’t know where, for how long or… why,” she said.

“Hasn’t he contacted you?” I asked. What was this? Why hadn’t he contacted her?

“No but he left this note behind,” she said putting the letter onto the table. “I found it the day after you left.”

“So he’s been gone for four weeks?” I said.

“Yeah, four whole weeks. Look Franky, read the note, your father has read it and so has Mike. I think you need to read it too,” said Adrienne pushing the letter across to me.

I looked at it and then decided to go ahead and read it. Turning it over I saw Adrienne’s name written in Billie’s handwriting. I took out the note from the envelope and opened it up to read.

Adrienne

I have gone away because everything has changed and I don’t think I can handle these changes at the moment. You have my number but please only contact me if it’s an emergency. I love my boys and I love you in my own way. Can you please try and explain to Mike and Tre that I’ve had to do this and that Green Day no longer exist. Mike has a good life at the moment with Jen and Tre is pissed off at me and it was kind of his idea anyway, he mentioned that the band weren’t going anywhere a few weeks back. Tell Mike and Tre that I love them, tell my boys that I love them and can you tell Franky that… tell her… no, its OK.

Take care of yourself and my Boys.

Billie x


I didn’t know what to say. What the hell had he wanted to say at the end of his letter? He’d mentioned my name. What the hell, why hadn’t he finished his sentence off?

Where were you Billie?

I looked up at Adrienne but her face was expressionless.

“Where could he be Adi?” I asked.

“No idea, no one has seen him or heard from him. No one.”

“But it’s been a month,” I said. A month, so where was he?

“Yep and I don’t know what to tell my boys anymore,” she said sadly.

“Shit Adi.” Yeah shit. Shit, shit, shit.

She sighed. “There’s something else. Something I need to show you in Joey’s room. Look Franky you can keep the note if you want, I don’t want it.” She said nodding at the letter that was still in my hand.

Adrienne stood up and walked out of the kitchen and I followed her tucking the letter into my jeans pocket as I went.

*

Going into Joey’s bedroom was weird. I realised that I’d never been in here, ever.

“I’m sorry to have to do this but you have to know,” Adrienne said pulling a chair over to a huge wardrobe and reaching up she lifted down a box.

She got down of the chair, still holding the box and dumped it onto Joey’s bed. There was a lid on top of the box and she was about to lift it when she spoke.

“This may be weird for you Franky but… I think you should be in on it.”

“In on what?” I said. I was so confused by this.

Adrienne lifted the lid and we both looked in and there inside the box was… well… it was full of…ME.

My breath caught in my throat, this I wasn’t expecting.

“Oh my god Adi,” I said.

“I’m sorry,” said Adi.

I slumped onto the bed and didn’t know what the hell to say.

“Its full of stuff about you, there are photographs, diaries, his future hopes with you, newspaper clippings and personal stuff.” She said quietly.

“Personal stuff? Like what?” I said frowning up at her.

“Like this,” said Adi and she pulled out a cherry lip gloss, one of many that I used to wear then she showed me a couple of bangles, the bangles of mums that I’d worn to the Grammies, a t shirt that I remembered not being able to find ages ago and… shit, it was here, the scarf with the silver stars, the one that I couldn’t find for Hannah just before we’d gone to the beach party. And this was why I couldn’t find it; it was here all along in Joey’s keepsake box. His box of Me.

“I wondered where this had gone,” I said to Adrienne reaching in to get it out but she put her hand out on mine to stop me.

“I’ll get it out,” she said lifting out the scarf. It looked like it was wrapped around something, something heavy.

I remembered the material vividly. It looked so delicate and I remembered the soft folds of it wrapped around my shoulders the night of the Grammy’s when I’d looked and felt so glamorous, when I’d met Gerard, properly and when we almost got to kiss until Billie stopped us. That night.

I wasn’t pregnant then, I hadn’t slept with anyone, and no one had told me they loved me back then, or asked me to marry them. Life seemed so much simpler.

“Take a look,” said Adi, “you won’t like it though,” she said as she opened up the folds of the scarf.

I looked and what I saw there shocked me.

”Oh my god,” I said putting my hand up to my mouth. I didn’t like it.

Adi kept quiet.

We just stared a the sight we saw for there, nestled in the delicate folds of my beautiful scarf was…

…a gun.