Dance With Me in This Rain

LOVE: A wildly misunderstood although highly desirable malfunction of the heart which weakens the brain and causes blood pressure to rise.

Could that be the correct definition? I could only believe it. Malfunction or no malfunction, I was beginning to think that what I was going through wasn't entirely real. Reality just seemed like fantasy to me.
I would wake up in the mornings, and the blue sky would always greet me. I would then look next to me, where Tom would be lying. His eyes closed, mouth hung open in a funny manner. Sometimes his tongue would be hanging out.
That always made me laugh.
Waking up next to Tom was like a whole different reality. Me being the girl who's relationships had never been meaningful or even lasted more than two weeks. Of course I was happy to have someone to wake up to. It felt nice.
But, as much as my life was going great and it really couldn't get any better, there was something bothering me way in the back of my mind. It was like something was telling me to be careful. It was warning me that something bad was going to happen.
Everytime that disturbing feeling came, I would roughly just try to shove it out of my mind. I didn't understand it one bit but it kept coming to me. Finally, I just decided it wasn't worth worrying about some stupid premonition. There was no reason for anything bad to happen. Was there......?
The bad thing was that, even when I wasn't worrying, I was distant. My mind was out of focus. But luckily, Tom with his unique ways usually made me forget most of my issues.
The German tour would end soon and I knew that I would have to go back to New York. Get back to 'real reality', as I had reminded myself.
I had tried talking about this with Tom once before, but he just sidetracked me, clearly avoiding the subject. It was obvious he didn't want me to leave and I couldn't blame him for wanting to avoid any subject of the end of the tour.
But it wasn't like we weren't going to see each other any more. Surely when their tours were over, the guys would come visit me. I just couldn't quit my jobs and go on tour with them around the world. I had more responsibility than that. Life wasn't so easy, especially for someone like me.
If I were to go, what in the world would I do for a living? Just be the girlfriend of a rockstar? Be careless of everything else? No, I wasn't some groupie.
Tom and I would have to create some sort of long distant relationship type deal. If that were even possible. If that even made sense.
“So, where do you want to go tonight, babe?” Tom asked me brightly, thankfully interrupting my all too familiar reverie. I was lying on my stomach in bed, watching a random comedy. I didn't understand a word of it, but the actors seemed funny and that's what managed to hold my attention.
Tom and I hadn't really been going out these past few days. All thanks to the damn paparazzi that never seem to get tired of chasing us around.
The last time we had gone out, Tom had taken me to a nice little restaurant. All was going extremely well. We sat near a big window and there was even a cute vase with a rose in it on the table.
Just basically over-the-top perfect for a date.
Unfortunately, all of that perfect went away once five sudden bright lights flashed through the window, making me nearly choke down on my water. My eyes had gone wide with surprise and so did Tom's. He quickly took some money out of his pocket and threw it on the table before grabbing my hand and running with me out of the restaurant. I merely followed cluelessly.
The people who were eating their dinners just stared. And with good reason, because two teenagers running through a chique restaurant isn't what you see everyday. It was a complete haze for me.
I wasn't at all accustomed to that kind of situation. Random people coming up to you and taking pictures? No, that wasn't for me. That was for Tom. The celebrity.
The one thing that scared me was if Tom and I showed up in a cover of a magazine together. Or any other public source for that matter.
Well, I wasn't so scared of Tom showing up in a magazine because it was normal. But me? I wasn't so good with being in the spotlight.
Tom moved next to me on the bed and had to snap his fingers in front of my face in order to grasp my attention. Talk about distractions.
I blinked twice and my gaze fell on his smiling, amused face.
"What'd you say?" I stupidly questioned.
He laughed. "Where do you wanna go tonight?"
I pursed my lips. “You sure you wanna go out again? What about the paparazzi?” My voice came out a bit panicky.
Tom frowned. “We'll just outrun them like we did last time.”
Ha.
I laughed humorlessly and shook my head. “So that's how it's gonna be from now on? Whenever we're on a date, we have to outrun the paparazzi? How romantic.”
He laughed again. “Trust me, I don't want you being in the sort of situation where you have to run out on a date everytime a camera flashes on us. If those guys ever try getting near you, believe me, I'd hunt them down."
I smiled.
"But," he continued, "I really want to be able to go out with you. I mean, this is ridiculous. You're my girlfriend and I should be able to take you places!” He huffed which made me laugh a little at his expression.
I then shrugged. “I don't mind staying in, Tom. Really.”
“I know you don't, but I do. And I want to take you out. You've been confined in this hotel for too long, babe.” He pushed some hair away from my face and I half smiled.
“Alright. We'll go out. But you decide on the place,” I said with another shrug.
“You're the girl,” He said bluntly.
I raised an eyebrow at him.
“And you just now realized that or.....?”
He rolled his eyes. “I want you to decide where our date should be.”
I laughed weakly. “Tom, just pick any place. I won't care.”
He smirked and looked up thoughtfully. Then, he widened his eyes and a grin replaced the smirk. “Okay, then. I know the perfect place.”
“Do tell.”
“A strip bar,” He answered stupidly, his grin growing wider.
I sighed and looked back at the TV. He chuckled once he noticed I wasn't at all amused. “What? You said I could decide,” He said with a shrug.
“Moron.”
He smiled and kissed me on the cheek before ruffling my hair. Dark strands fell over my eyes, blocking my total view.
“Leave my hair alone,” I whined.
“You're such a baby!” He laughed. “You look cute with messy hair.”
“Want me to mess with your dreads? They'll get awfully tangly,” I threatened, straightening my fringe and pulling the rest of my hair back.
“Okay, okay. I'll stop,” He said at once, touching his dreads. “You'll ruin them if you get them tangled.”
“That's the idea,” I said with a laugh.
He shook his head. “You're evil.”
“Only with clueless people.”
He made a funny face at me, which at first I tried suppressing my laugh, but failed. He got me.
“So.....” He began saying, once my laughing faded, “Where do you wanna go?”
I looked at him. “Didn't we just go through this?”
He shrugged. “Fine. You know, I'm thinking you don't wanna spend time with me. Did I do something wrong?” He asked wonderingly, as he slid and laid beside me.
“Well, you're kind of being annoying,” I joked. I then saw his face falling and I quickly shook my head. “Of course you didn't do anything wrong, babe.”
“So then why aren't you more excited about going out?” He pressed, throwing an arm around my shoulder. I bit my lip and rested my head against his.
“You'll laugh if I tell you what's really bothering me.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Well, that depends. Is it funny?”
I let out a small laugh and he did the same, although he looked pretty concerned with my sudden suspense.
"No."
"Is it mean?"
“No.”
He nodded. “Then I won't laugh.”
I sighed heavily, and propped my palms underneath my chin. “I'm homesick.”
Tom looked at me, as if expecting me to say more but I just looked back at the TV in sheer embarrassment.
“That's it?” He questioned.
I shrugged. “Yeah.”
“Seriously?”
I stared at him, narrowing my eyes. “Yes.”
He clicked his tongue, waving a hand. “That's perfectly understandable," he said, a smile pulling up at the corners of his mouth. "See, I'm not laughing."
I pursed my lips. “But you're smiling.”
“You always make me smile. And you know it's impossible not to smile when you're around.”
I smiled and he bashed his eyelashes. I playfully punched him on the shoulder.
“Are you sad?” He asked, now becoming serious.
I didn't have to think too much about his question. I wasn't sad. Of course not. I was with him, wasn't I?
“No way. Don't worry, it's normal for me to feel a bit homesick. Like, I don't want to leave or anything, if that's what you're thinking," I said quickly, not wanting to make him think that I did. "......I mean, I love it here and I love you......Ugh, I suck at explaining stuff, you know?” I shook my head, seeing Tom's forehead creasing with confusion at my rambling. “You know what, maybe you're right about us going out. It can help me forget about home.” Suddenly, I sat up in bed, and gave him an assuring smile. “Where shall we go, Kaulitz?”
He turned over, so that he was lying on his back, facing me. “You sure? You can stay in if you-”
“No. I'd rather go out with you. Like you said, I've been confined in here for too long. And also, I haven't been under the sun in a while and I think I'm starting to lose color,” I joked, showing him my arm, which had the creamy color since always.
He half smiled and took my arm to examine it. “Yeah, you're right. You're practically a vampire now.”
I gasped, making him look at me weirdly. “Wouldn't that be so cool?!”
“What? Be a vampire?”
“Hell yes,” I answered. “I'd be able to fly or run really fast, depending on my species.”
Tom stared at me for about five seconds before shaking his head disapprovingly. “My girlfriend wants to be a vampire. And just when I thought you couldn't get any weirder.”
I showed him my middle finger because there really wasn't much of a better response, was there?
His mouth formed an 'O' shape. “Obscene gesture coming from such a well-mannered young lady.”
“I'll show you well-mannered,” I mumbled and he laughed. Was I really that funny?
"Hey, just so you know, if you really were some bloodsucking fiend, then trust me, you'd definitely be the hottest of them all.”
This couldn't make me hold in a grin.
“Really?”
“Yeah,” He said with a smile that nearly melted me on the spot.
“Aww, Tommy,” I squealed, as I threw my arms around him, making us both fall back on the bed. I kissed him vehemently on the lips. I could feel he was enjoying every second of it.
“Maybe next time, I'll suck your blood......if you're lucky,” I said in my best seductive voice, which came out incredibly sucky. I wasn't good with the whole seducing thing, but by the dumbfounded look on Tom's face, I'd say he liked it. With a wink, I jumped off of him and onto the floor.
Tom didn't get up, as he was now staring up at the ceiling for some reason.
"You okay?" I asked with a laugh.
He opened his mouth and then he smiled. “That. Was. Hot.”
“What?”
He propped himself up by his elbows and beamed at me. "You can bite me anytime."
I snorted in laughter.
"I'm serious, Ms. Vamp."
This made me laugh even more. "Ms. Vamp? What is that?"
He grinned. "The name I'm giving you. You don't like it?"
I made a face. "How about a cooler, more vampirey name? Like.........Zephyr."
Tom furrowed his eyebrows. "What the hell kind of name is that?"
I grinned. "Pretty cool, huh?"
"So I have to start calling you Zephyr now?"
"Well, it's better than Ms. Vamp," I said with a shrug.
He laughed, shaking his head. "Okay, forget the vampire names. I love Bella."
I smiled, shifting my weight to my right leg. "You do, do you?"
He nodded. "Uh huh. I don't care if you're a vampire or not. I love you either way."
I stood still, staring at him bewilderedly. "What's going on with you today?"
"What do you mean?" He asked plainly.
"You're being all romantic and stuff."
He smirked. "Am I not allowed?"
I smiled. "Of course you are."
He returned the smile. "Cool."
"And you look cute while saying cheesy stuff, by the way. You have this grin that's just like your brother's."
He grinned goofily. "We're just so adorable, aren't we?" He said in a funny voice, which made me laugh.
"Insanely adorable. Now, get out. I have to get dressed," I said.
"For what?"
"Jeez, Tom. Aren't you gonna take me out?"
He widened his eyes. "Oh yeah! I forgot. Why do I have to get out, though?"
"I'm gonna get dressed."
"So? I've seen you without clothes. It's no biggie."
I made a face. "Well, I don't really like it when people watch me undress."
"And why is that?"
"Because it's embarrassing. And awkward," I added, crossing my arms. "Now, be a dear, and go wait for me outside. Or at least just let me get dressed quickly so that you can come back in."
He pursed his lips, narrowing his eyes confusingly. "You're so demanding......"
I paused. He smiled.
"I like it," He said with a wink.