Dance With Me in This Rain

I love you is eight letters long. But then again so is bullshit.

___

Never, in my eighteen years of living, had I ever been to a place as big as the club I was standing in now.
I'm not even exaggerating. The place was humongous. That little club the guys and I had gone to back in New York had nothing on this place. This club could totally kick that other club's ass in a second.
There were neon lights flashing around, illuminating the multitudinous sea of people, who danced freely on the dance floor.
I was lost. Not literally, just lost for words.
Clara and I were following the boys around like a couple of lost puppies. They of course had been here numerous times, therefore, it was like home to them in a way.
"This way, girls," I heard Tom calling over his shoulder to us. We could barely hear him, as the electronic music was pumping hard against the giant speakers.
I hadn't even noticed the guys making a sudden left turn. Clara then took my arm and we both tried keeping up with them.
Finally, we seemed to have arrived in some sort of room that looked more like a studio, which had a bright green sign, which had a German word on it, above the entrance door. The music slowly faded from our ears as we made our way inside.
I looked around, and that's when I noticed that we were in a high part of the club, being able to see everyone down on the dance floor. The way the people and the multi-colored lighting flowed together kind of reminded me of the 70's disco era. It was awesome.
I felt someone's hand take mine, and I looked up to see Tom.
"Hey, come on. I want you to meet my friend," He said, taking me towards a guy. He looked about our age, or rather older than me. His hair was bleach blonde, and his sparkly brown eyes were adorned with black eyeliner. His wardrobe reminded me of Bill's. Tight pants, tight shirt. Leather jacket. His hair was just a minor changed detail.
The guy looked at me and a smile formed in his handsome face. "Hello!" He greeted with such enthusiasm, it was endearing.
I smiled politely, knowing that this was the twins' best friend.
"Hi." I placed my hand out, going for the traditional handshake, but the guy's arms opened right at the same time, instead pulling me into an unexpected friendly hug.
I laughed quietly, and returned the hug a bit awkwardly.
"This is your Bella?" He asked Tom, once he let go of me and continued smiling radiantly.
Tom nodded with a grin. "This is her."
"She's even prettier than you described," He said with a nice accent, glancing at Tom. "Schönes Mädchen."
"Ich kenne," Tom answered, which made me lift my brow in confusion. Do they normally start speaking German out of nowhere?
Andreas nodded enthusiastically, his blonde hair swinging freely from side to side. "I'm Andreas," He told me.
"I heard," I answered, smiling.
He grinned, which resembled Tom's grin. It was funny that he had Bill's wardrobe and Tom's personality.
He was a cool guy, though. I liked him already.
"And you! Clara, is it?" Andreas turned his body, facing Clara with another warm smile.
She beamed, giving him a small wave. "Hey. Yeah, that's me."
Just like with me, he pulled her into a bear hug, which made her giggle once they had let go.
"Americans, eh? Very different from German girls, wouldn't you say?" Andreas asked me brightly.
I shrugged. "I wouldn't know. But I bet Tom would," I joked lightly, pointing my head towards him.
Andreas let out a hearty laugh and patted his friend on the back. "He sure would. This one's had too many girls under his belt to count," He whispered loudly.
Tom made a funny face, as his cheeks glowed bright red. He lightly punched Andreas on the shoulder. "Halt den Mund. Look who's talking."
Andreas laughed, sticking his tongue out in a funny manner. "We'll call it even. And by the way, I'm glad to see you finally settling down. And with such a pretty girl."
I felt my face burning up. I wasn't used to so many compliments from a guy I just met.
Andreas, of course, noticed me blushing and gave me another radiant smile. "Don't be shy. It's the honest truth. And Gustav, man, she looks like she came out of a fashion magazine," He commented, referring to Clara, who immediately blushed at least five shades of red. Gustav just smiled and pulled Clara closer to him, utterly happy to have her by his side.
He was such a gentleman.
"How about a drink?" Andreas asked, now with his arms resting around Bill's and Tom's shoulders. "Nothing too strong, though. Well, not for Gustav and Tom. They have to stay sober for their ladies. Bill and Georg, you guys can party hard with me."
"Alright!" Georg whistled, high-fiving Andreas. "Let's do it. Bring on the good stuff!"
Clara and I looked at each other and laughed at Georg's sudden hyperactiveness.
"Hey, who says I have to stay sober? Bella doesn't mind," Tom said, winking at me. "Do you, Bells?"
I made a face. "Just as long as you keep away from me with alcohol breath. Then we're cool."
This made Andreas laugh out loud, hanging his head back.
"Great. Come on, Andy, where are the drinks?" Tom cheered, clapping his hands.
"Right this way," Andreas answered, motioning his hands for the twins and Georg and Gustav to follow him.
"You guys coming with?" Tom asked us.
"Nah, you go ahead. We'll just hang out here for a bit," I replied cooly, waving him off.
Tom gave me a thumbs up and turned around, running after Andreas and the guys.
Before Gustav took off after them, he kissed Clara and said, "See ya."
"Yeah, see ya," She replied with a half smile.
We both watched them all talking animatedly with each other before disappearing among the crowd.
"Come on, let's explore," I suggested, grabbing her elbow and dragging her behind me as I walked out the room and into the main part of the club.
"Could this place be any bigger? It could take days for us to find the bathroom," Clara yelled over the music. I laughed, nodding agreeingly.
"You don't wanna get wasted tonight?" She asked with a laugh.
"Nah, I'm good. But you're welcome to get liquored up without me."
She laughed. "I think it's best we both stay sober, you know. We might have to take care of our guys, depending on how hammered they get."
"Couldn't agree more," I answered.
The eletronic song suddenly stopped in the speakers, and a new one began. A familiar one, which suddenly got me pumped and excited about going out on the dancefloor.
I've had a little bit too much Oh Oh Oh Oh
All of the people start to rush, start to rush by
"I love this song!" I yelled to Clara, shaking my head and my arms.
Clara laughed at my sudden dancing and started shaking her head along with the song. "So do I! What do you say we dance our asses off, since we can't drink?"
"I say let's dance, already!"
She grinned. "Let's go to the center! There are more lights there!" She said.
I nodded. We linked our arms and pushed between the crowds, dancing along the way. We finally got to the center and that's when we let ourselves loosen up way more.
Just dance, gonna be okay
Da da doo-doo-mmm
Just dance, spin that record babe
Da da doo-doo-mmm
Just dance, gonna be okay, d-d-dance
Dance, dance, just j-j-just dance
Clara and I were twirling around crazily. My hair was out of control, going from side to side. It all felt so incredibly liberating. I mean, where else could I dance around without a care in the world? My mind was clear of every problem I had. I loved feeling this. I wished it would never stop.
The song went on, and many more songs played after it. I squealed when the song Control by Metro Station blasted in the air. It was one of my favorites, and Clara's also, since she sang along, or rather, yelled along. It was like being at a concert with her.
"Bells! I need liquid or I'll die!" Clara panted, holding onto me dramatically once Poker Face ended.
I laughed. "Let's get some, then."
"You lead the way. Can you carry me on your back?" She asked with a weak laugh, making me laugh louder.
"Only if you carry me!"
"Okay, okay. Let's walk," She said, linking her arm with mine as we left the center dancefloor. I was sweating like a maniac, and my throat was dry.
"Here, go order us some soda. I'm going to the bathroom," I said, as I slid my arm away from hers.
"Okay. Do you know where it is?" She asked with a funny face.
"I'll find it, don't worry. Be right back," I called, before turning around in search for the ladies room. As I walked, I bumped into a lot of random people. It was unavoidable, seeing as how every inch of that club was surrounded by crowds.
Finally, after walking for about five minutes, I could see a neon red sign which had a girl and boy on it and two doors underneath it. Once I got in, I walked up to the sink, checking myself out in the mirror.
My hair was a total mess. My makeup was screwed. I frantically ran my hands through my hair, trying to fix the damages. My eyeliner was totally smudged, so I fixed that, too. I then opened the faucet, letting the cold water touch my hands, which I brought up to my face and spread across my cheeks. I was feeling better already.
"Er hat mit mir Schluß gemacht!"
I jumped, as a girl's voice and loud cry startled me.
Two girls made their way into the bathroom. While one cried, the other one just had her arms around her, trying to comfort her from whatever was going on.
"Beruhige dich, Karolin!" The crying girl's friend said. "Atmen."
I bit my lip, not understanding a single word the girls were saying. Suddenly, I felt uncomfortable. So I shut the faucet and quickly dried my hands before power walking out of there, hearing the girl's sobs growing louder.
I breathed out, happy to be out of there and began walking, in hopes of finding Clara. I thought it wouldn't be so hard to find my way back to the bar, but I was wrong. This place, like I said before, was huge and the crowd wasn't helping at all. It was impossible to find anyone here.
I was lost. My heart was now racing. I hated being lost. Why didn't I just bring Clara with me? At least we would've been lost together and I wouldn't have to be alone in this strange place, trying to find everyone else.
"Shit, shit, shit," I cursed, rubbing my forehead. "Bella, you idiot. Can't even find the way back by yourself. How the hell did you even manage to find the freaking bathroom?!"
Well, at least the bathroom had a neon sign over it! I retorted to myself.
Despite being lost, I continued walking, hoping luck was on my side and I'd see Clara or even one of the guys. Somehow, it looked as though the club was darkening, making it even more impossible to find anything. I was tripping into some people, accidentally making them go backwards.
"Entschuldigen Sie," I murmured over and over, knowing it meant excuse me. I was already giving up but then, I suddenly spotted something familiar. The bright green sign with that unknown German word. It was that studio-like room I had been in when I arrived.
"Thank God," I muttered, now walking hurridly towards it. Reaching the door, I knocked twice, hoping at least one of the guys would be in there.
The door finally opened. It was Andreas.
"Hey Bella!" He greeted cheerfully, now opening the door wider, gesturing me to come in. I gave him a small smile and stepped in.
"Andreas, where are the guys?" I asked, looking around.
"They're out there dancing," He answered. "Weren't you with them?"
I shook my head. "I was with Clara on the dancefloor. But then, at one point, we stopped dancing because we were tired and thirsty so we went to go get a drink and then I told her I had to go to the bathroom. So I did, but then I ended up getting lost on my way back, stupid me," I mumbled, slapping my forehead.
Andreas furrowed his eyebrows and I paused, wondering why he looked at me funny. "What?"
"You talk fast," He stated, with a small laugh.
I half smiled. "I know."
"So you got lost?"
"Yep. Oh man, Clara must be lost, too. I wonder if she can find her way back. Maybe, since she's luckier than I'll ever be, she ran into one of them."
Andreas laughed again. "Again with the fast talking."
I buried my face in my hands and laughed weakly. "I'm sorry. It's just, I'm sweating like crazy and I feel like I'm gonna pass out."
Andreas' eyes widened and he suddenly took my arm and sat me down on the nearest couch. "You should sit for a while," He said. "Stay here. I'll be right back."
I nodded, resting my back against the couch. "Kay."
He nodded and left the room. Thirty seconds later he was back with a glass of water in his hand.
"Here. Drink," He ordered, handing me the glass. I gladly took it, gulping all the liquid down, thankful for the dryness to go away from my throat.
"Thank you so much," I said, handing him the glass. He smiled and set it on a nearby table.
"Feel better?" He asked.
"Much."
"Good. And hey, if you need to puke, that's what the bucket's for," He said with a laugh, pointing to a small green bucket in the far corner of the room.
"Er, thanks," I replied. Then I paused. "Wait. Why aren't you with the guys?"
Andreas laughed. "I came up here for my jacket. I took it off earlier. And then you knocked on the door and now we're here talking."
I laughed weakly. "I thought you said you and the boys were going to party hard. You look sober to me."
He shrugged. "For some reason, I stopped at my third glass. But I couldn't ruin their fun. Those guys like getting hammered."
"I know. It's their sickness," I answered jokingly, receiving another laugh from Andreas.
I don't think I'd ever met anyone so upbeat before.
"I'm gonna go look for the guys," Andreas suddenly said. "You can stay here if you want. You look a bit pale."
My hand flew up to my cheek. "Do I?"
He laughed. "Yeah."
I shook my head. "I'll go with you. I haven't seen Tom in hours. Which makes me wonder how long Clara and I had been dancing."
"You wonder too much," Andreas stated.
"I know," I answered. "Sorry again."
He grinned. "Es ist okay. You're funny."
"Yeah, I'm just friggin' hilarious," I responded wryly, which made him laugh even more.
"Come on, follow me. Try not to get lost this time, yeah?" He winked.
I smiled crookedly. "Sure, I'll try."
We both walked out of the room and he began leading the way. Good thing he was there to help.
"Do you see them?" I yelled over the music.
"I see Georg and Gustav. Come on," He urged, grabbing my elbow and dragging me through the crowd.
"Bella! Dude, where were you?" Georg asked immediately, once he saw Andreas and I coming. He looked drunk.
"I was with Clara. We were dancing. Then I got lost. And now I'm here," I answered as briefly as I could.
"How the hell did you get lost?" He asked, lifting his brows as he drank something from the glass he was holding.
"She went to the bathroom," Andreas answered. "It's a big club. It could happen to anyone."
Georg burst out in laughter, almost spilling his drink. "That's so funny! Bella got lost."
"So Clara's out there somewhere?" Gustav asked, who seemed a little dazed, but still looked a bit more sobered up then Georg.
"Yeah. Last time I saw her, she was at the bar."
"Psh, of course I know where that is. Be right back. I gotta go get my girl," He announced, winking at Andreas and I before walking off, uncoordinatedly.
"And I'm gonna go get myself another one of these!" Georg sputtered, holding up an empty glass. "See you kids, later."
"Holy shit, they're gonna have one hell of a hangover tomorrow," I said, surprised at how hammered they were.
Andreas laughed. "I know. They'll suffer."
I was about to laugh, but I suddenly felt my head throbbing. Maybe it was because of the loud music. I lost my balance for a split second, until Andreas caught me.
"You alright?" He asked. "You need to sit down again?"
"Nah, it's okay. Just got a little dizzy there for a second," I said, waving my hand. "Can we go find Tom?"
Andreas nodded. "Yeah. Let's hurry before you actually pass out. I'm scared that if you do, people will walk all over you."
I nodded, holding back a laugh. My head was still throbbing. "Okay."
This time, Andreas placed an arm around my shoulder to make sure I wouldn't fall, guiding me along the crowd.
"You know what, I think he's at the bar!" Andreas exclaimed.
"How do you know?"
He shrugged. "Instinct?"
I laughed lightly. "Let's go with your instinct, then."
"Alrighty."
More walking. I was so tired of walking. Next time someone tells me about a party at a club, I'll think twice before answering.
"He's not here," Andreas said, when we got to the bar and looked around at the tables.
"How wonderful," I muttered. "How can he just disappear?"
"Well, he's completely drunk out of his mind. He might have lost his sense of direction." He shrugged.
"You think he wandered out of the club?" I asked, cocking a brow.
He laughed. "I doubt it. He's gotta be around here somewhere. How about this, you go that way and I'll go this way. He might not be far."
"What if I get lost again?"
He shook his head, half smiling. "Just don't wander too far."
"Great advice," I answered sarcastically. "That's gonna help a lot."
"Just go on and look for him. Meet me back here," He urged, before spinning around and walking off. I didn't even have time to say anything else.
And now I'm alone again. How swell.
I stood still for a second, trying to imagine where Tom might be. I pushed some hairs away from my face.
"Gah, I wanna leave." I complained to no one in particular.
I bit the corners of my lip and finally wandered aimlessly the way Andreas had pointed.
All my people on the floor
Let me see you dance
Let me see ya
All my people wantin' more
Let me see you dance
I wanna see ya
The music pumped even more louder than before. I seriously thought my ears were gonna fall off. I was sure that when we'd leave today, I'd be nearly deaf.
The good thing was that more lights were now flashing everywhere. This way, it'd be a bit more easier to spot any of the guys or Clara.
I was now walking over to a spot where, surprisingly, there wasn't a crowd and I could see clearer. A big pink light now flashed brighter than the others and it illuminated every corner of the club, even the darkest one, where there seemed to be a couple making out.
When the light hit the couple in the corner, I noticed that the guy was wearing extremely baggy clothing. As the light faded out and the corner became dark again, I felt my feet stop.
I was paused dead in my tracks. My head now swirled, and that awful throbbing sensation came back.
With the headache, I was left standing there just hoping it would go away. The pink light abruptly flashed again where I was standing, and yet again, I saw the couple.
This time, not only did I see the baggy clothing again, I saw the guy's hair.
"Dreadlocks...?" I said quietly to myself.
Could it be.......?
I shook my head. "Of course not."
There were plenty of guys with dreadlock hair. Tom Kaulitz wasn't the only guy in Germany to have dreadlock hair. No way.
"That's not him," I told myself, feeling stupid for even thinking such a thing.
So why wasn't I moving from my spot, just a few feet away from the couple?
"That's not him," I repeated, assuring myself calmly. "It can't be him. He wouldn't...."
My mind was now running at high speed. I suddenly felt my right leg move, dragging the rest of my body along, as I took one measly little step forward.
Should I see who it is? Should I?
Even if it's not him, which I'm praying for, it won't hurt to try to see the guy's face.
I took another small step. Suddenly, the guy, who had his back to me, was now switching sides with the girl. She was now in front of him, with one leg high up, wrapping his waist.
I shivered.
With a few steps to the left, I could be able to see the guy's face.
So I took the steps, and cursed under my breath, annoyed that the girl's giant head of platinum blonde hair was blocking my view.
Please, please just let him be a guy with the same dreadlock hair and baggy clothes.
That's all I kept wishing for at that moment.
When the pink light came back again, shining down on the two of them, my stomach suddenly lurched. My head felt like someone was beating it with a hammer. Everything else around me seemed to be fading.
It's him.
My knees became wobbly. I was about to lose my balance again.
It was Tom. Tom. With another girl. Making out in a corner.
I breathed out.
Could this really be happening? Is this some bad nightmare?
I breathed rapidly.
Of course not. It was reality.
Reality, the coldhearted bitch.
"Bella! Hey, Bella, there you are!" I heard a voice calling out my name. It took me a while to realize it was Andreas.
He eventually caught up to me. Then he paused, noticing the look on my face. I didn't even know how it must've looked to him. Shocked? Confused? Hurt? Angry? Was it all mixed in one? How bizarre must it have looked?
"Bella....?" Andreas waved a hand in front of my face trying uselessly to snap my attention.
My hands that were laying by my sides were now balled into fists. Fists that I would use to beat the living shit out of the platinum blonde whore and then my boyfriend, who was now the biggest fucking cheater that ever lived.
Andreas took a hard look at my face, now following my line of sight. He spotted Tom.
His eyebrows furrowed confusingly and his mouth opened wide in astonishment.
"Is that...?" He trailed off.
I was fuming.
The girl's lips left Tom's, and she began kissing his neck, and I saw his face. His face that I wanted to just bash into a concrete wall.
She had her hands roaming up and down his chest.
And that's when my world came crashing down. My hands were no longer in fists. My mouth was trembling, and my head, if possible, was pounding even harder.
My eyes were stinging.
"Bella-" Andreas started saying something, but it might as well have fallen on deaf ears.
"I have to go," I sputtered, pushing him back roughly. But he saw that I was going to run, so he managed to grab hold of my arm.
"Andreas, let go!" I yelled. My voice came out all uneven and I had yelled way louder than I imagined.
When I turned around, I saw Tom staring at me with the blonde whore stuck on him like an ugly disease.
"Let me go!" I yelled frustrated, ready to beat Andreas.
"Bella!" Andreas yelped. I didn't know why he wasn't letting me go. Did he want me to just stand there, watching my boyfriend makeout with some other girl?
"Bella, I-" I spun around, face to face with Tom. The whore was now standing against the wall, lighting a cigarette. She had the most bitchiest face I had ever seen. Her clothes, pardon, the small thin piece of red fabric, clung to her skin so vulgarly. Didn't she know what she had done?
"Get away from me," I seethed, with anger now exploding. I had never felt this angry. Part of me was scared of myself and the other part wanted to take the whore down.
Tom's hands went up to his head. "I'm so-"
"Don't you dare say you're sorry!" I screeched, thrusting him away. "Don't come near me!"
"Bella, calm down," Andreas started saying. "I'll take you home now but don't-"
"Let go of me, Andreas!" I spat, yanking my arm angrily away from him.
Tom came closer, and my hands were now in fists again. If he came near me one more time, I was gonna do it. I was gonna beat the shit out of him. Somehow, all my strength built up inside me. I was ready.
"Bella, please," He began saying, his face contorted in some weird way I had never seen. Was this guilt? Seriously? Big fucking deal.
"Don't you fucking come near me!"
I staggered backward, bumping into more people. Andreas was immobile.
"Fuck you, Tom Kaulitz!" I screamed, my voice cracking when I said his name. "You big fucking cheat!"
And I ran. Now, I was thankful everything was dark. I panted while I darted through the people, looking around desperately for the exit. And without noticing, I bumped hard into someone, knocking us both down on the floor.
"Es tut mir-" The person began saying, but suddenly stopped. "Bella?!"
I blew some hair away from my face, lifting my head up. Oh no. It was Bill.
Great, now I run into one of them.
I panted, and quickly scrambled to my feet.
"You okay? Why were you running?" He asked, holding me by the shoulders and looking at me concerningly.
"I-I gotta go," I said, sidestepping him, but he was quick, as he took my hand.
"Go where?"
I bit my lower lip. "I just have to leave, Bill. I'm sorry."
Bill frowned. "Why are you talking like that?"
I shook my head and ignored his question as I began walking again. Bill followed.
"Bella?"
"Where the hell is the exit in this place?!" I screeched, still ignoring him.
"Why are you leaving?!" Bill asked, stopping me again.
I sighed, knowing the tears would come soon. I just really didn't want to cry in front of Bill.
"C-can you do me a favor?" I asked, sniffing back a cry.
Bill's face was more than confused, but he nodded. "What?"
"Can you take me back to the hotel?"
Bill must've noticed my trembling lip. "Bella, for the last time, what the hell's going on?"
"Please, just take me. That's all I'm asking for, Bill. Please," I begged, my eyes stinging more than ever.
Bill's face fell. "O-okay. I'll take you. Let's go," He finally agreed, grabbing hold of my hand and leading me to the exit.
Thankfully, we were out of that club, and I was in the biggest rush to get to the car. Bill didn't take his eyes off me and I knew he knew something big was up.
"Please just tell me what happened."