Dance With Me in This Rain

The straps of my bags slid down from my shoulders, and the suitcase handle was released from my grip, all falling with a few thuds on the floor.
My eyes scanned around the familiar spacious living room. I didn't know how much I had really missed this place until now.
It sort of felt weird being back. But I was glad. I was glad to finally be back in New York, knowing that Tom Kaulitz was a bazillion miles away, fortunately in another continent.
I kicked off my shoes. My feet had felt like they were bleeding the whole plane ride over here. I had slept the whole flight, trying to think about anything other than my friends, Germany and the whore with the red dress.
I slowly walked further into my apartment, touching the walls with a small smile. It quickly faded once I caught sight of a photograph. It was of me and Tom, and he was kissing my cheek while I had the biggest smile on my face. Bill had taken that picture a few days before we left for Germany.
I chewed on my bottom lip and took the photo in my hands.
"Asshole," I mumbled, opening a drawer and shoving the photo inside it.
I spun around, walking over to my couch. I spotted the remote control and turned on the TV. It felt weird hearing everything in english again. I guess I had grown too much accustomed with german.
I shook my head, and grabbed my stuff, heading toward my room. After putting away all my clothes and shoes and other belongings, I decided to take a shower hoping the smell of airplane would go away.
The warm water spilled on me, a few droplets splashing off my head. I tried calming my nerves. Showers usually helped relieve stress, but this one just wasn't doing anything for me. If anything, it made me feel worse than I did before stepping into that plane.
I sniffed, rubbing my eyes. I hadn't even noticed I was crying. I mumbled profanities under my breath, wondering why I wasn't feeling any better. It didn't make any sense. I was away from him, wasn't I?
I leaned my head on the glass door of the box, feeling the hot water bouncing off my skin and stuffing the bathroom with steam. Getting over him was going to be hard. Maybe harder than I imagined.
After the most depressing shower, I quickly got into my pyjamas and headed for the kitchen. I settled for cereal, which was the only thing I had that didn't need cooking or baking or frying.
I took a few bites, staring around my kitchen, which felt like I haven't seen in ages. I had to admit, although being there was a relief, it brought on this sort of melancholy mood.
I sighed loudly and dropped the spoon into the bowl, pushing it away from me. Suddenly, I wasn't so hungry anymore.
My head, for some reason, began throbbing and I felt the need to lay down. And so I flopped on my couch, bringing the thin checkered blanket over my body, hoping sleep would take me.

__

I didn't know for how long I had been passed out. Maybe a few hours, because when I looked outside, it was already dark. I shifted on the couch, sitting up slowly. The television had awakened me with its suddenly high volume. I took the remote and set the TV on mute.
I then looked to my right and saw my machine flashing the number 15.
Fifteen messages?
I narrowed my eyes, adjusting myself on the couch, so that I could reach the machine and hit the play button.

- "Bella? Honey, are you there? Oh, you must still be at work. Anyway, I just wanted to ask you for that cherry pie recipe grandma gave you. I'm having a few friends over in a few days and I told them I'd make the pie. Call me as soon as you get home. I really need that recipe. Love you. Mom."

- "Izabella, why aren't you calling me? My friends are going to be here tomorrow and I still don't have that recipe! Email it to me if it makes your life easier!"

- "Bella, I know you're a busy girl but please just try to take some time off your life to help your mom out. I already called your sister to see if she has a copy of the recipe but she doesn't. Please call me back. Love you. Mom."

I shook my head. I had told my mom I'd be "traveling" with some of my friends but I guess she forgot. Oh well. I had to remind myself to call her later. I listened to a few more messages, some from my mom and some from the people down at the school. I suddenly paused when Clara's voice sounded off from the machine.

- Hey, Belle. It's Clara. I just wanted to make sure you got home okay. Please call me. I don't really know if I should tell you about Tom or not, but......Okay, I'll tell you. It was chaos when he got back from the club yesterday. When Bill told him you left, he lost it. He started yelling at everyone and Andreas and Bill had to calm him down. He was messed up, Bells. I'd never seen him like that. It was pretty scary. And the only way he got some sleep was by drinking. It was sad, but I think he's calm now. Anyway, please, please call. I'm waiting. Love you.

"Oh God," I mumbled to myself, sinking into the couch. Well, he got what he deserved. What did he expect? That I'd still be there, waiting to forgive him? Psh. Don't worry yourself, I thought. Just go on with your life. Pretend he doesn't exist. It's better that way.
I nodded. That's exactly what I'm going to do. First thing's first, though. I had to call Clara and tell her I made it home safely. Otherwise, she'd be leaving messages like there was no tomorrow.
I was going to call her on her cellphone. I knew she'd have it at all times and I doubted she was near Tom. I really didn't want him to know I was calling.
I quickly dialed her cellphone number, placing the phone near my ear. For some reason, I became nervous. Would she really be the one picking up? I prayed she didn't leave her cellphone lying around somewhere.
"Hello?" Her voice said on the other end of the line.
I sighed in relief, placing a hand on my chest. "Hey. It's me."
"Bells?! Oh thank God! What took you so long to call? I was worried sick! I thought your plane crashed or something and-"
"Clara!" I interrupted with a small laugh. "I'm fine. I've been home for a few hours."
"A few hours? Why didn't you call me when you got there?"
"I'm sorry. I was really tired and I took a shower. And after that, I fell asleep. I woke up just a few minutes ago."
I heard Clara sighing. "Oh, okay. I'm so glad you called. You got my message, right?"
I bit my lip. "Yeah, I got it."
There was a brief pause.
"Tom's going insane," She stated quietly. "I'm actually scared of him."
I rubbed the back of my neck. "I really don't wanna know."
"I know, I'm sorry. I just thought you'd at least want to know how he reacted."
"I don't," I said. "I don't want to know anything involving Tom."
"Okay, okay. I won't talk about Tom," She stated quickly. "I really miss you."
I cracked a crooked smile. "I miss you, too."
"I'm the only girl here." She pretended to cry, which made me laugh. "I have nobody to talk to now. I'm lonely."
"What are you talking about? You got Gustav!"
"Yeah, but he's not a girl. He just doesn't understand certain things. And besides, did you forget he's on tour? I only get to see him when he comes back from concerts."
I rolled my eyes. "We can still talk on the phone, genius."
She laughed. "Yeah, I guess." Then she paused. "Oh shit!"
I narrowed my eyes confusingly, pressing the phone to my ear. "What is it?"
"I think it's the guys. I can hear them coming. I'm gonna hide in the bathroom," She whispered. I heard a few fumbling noises and pretty soon, I heard a door being closed followed by Clara's voice.
"There. I'm in," She announced.
I shook my head. "You're hiding from all of them?"
"Yeah. It's better that way. All the guys are with Tom and if any of them know we're talking, Tom's gonna want to talk to you."
I groaned, leaning back. "I guess."
Clara sighed. "Bells....I know you can't stand hearing Tom's name, but..." She trailed off.
I closed my eyes for a brief second. "Yeah?"
I heard her clearing her throat. "He's totally unpredictable."
"What do you mean by that?"
"He can do pretty much anything. Maybe even hurt himself, I don't know."
I sighed. "No way. He wouldn't hurt himself just because I left. That's ridiculous."
"Hey, we all know how madly in love he is with you. He's capable of anything. Love can make a person do anything."
I suppressed a laugh. "Are you even listening to yourself right now?"
Clara giggled. "Yeah. That came out corny."
"Very."
"So how's everything so far? Are you doing okay?" She asked in a hesitant tone.
I crossed my legs. "Yeah, I'm doing okay."
"That doesn't sound very convincing, Belle."
I pursed my lips. "It's true."
"Right. Look, I know what you're feeling. I know it hurts. But everything'll be fine."
I nodded to myself. "I know."
"Bells, seriously, you sound sick."
I let out a humorless laugh. "Gee, thanks."
She laughed the same way. "I'm not kidding."
"Clara, I'm fine. Really. How much convincing do I need to do for you to believe me?"
"Coming back to Germany is a start."
I snorted. "Sorry."
She sighed dramatically.
"Clara? Babe, are you in there?"
I lifted an eyebrow, distinctly hearing someone's voice on the other side of the line.
"Shit," Clara mumbled into the phone.
"Who is it?" I asked.
"Gustav," She answered. "Yeah I'm in here!" She called out.
"Look, I'll call you later, okay? I still have to call Rachel at the coffee house and Dina at the school," I said, avoiding having to talk to Tom.
"Okay," Clara said in a low voice. "I think something's up. I have to go see what happened."
"Yeah, you do that. Bye."
"Bye hun."
Click.
I tossed the phone aside on the couch. I exhaled loudly, knowing that I'd have to be calling a few people, starting with my mother. I didn't even want to think of how dreadful our conversation would go.
"Damn," I mumbled. This was the life I was used to.