Dance With Me in This Rain

At the doctor's

I was sitting up straight on the hospital bed table, after my checkup was done. It didn't take as long as I had imagined, but I was still extremely uncomfortable. Just the smell of that office made me feel queasy and I knew that if I'd inhale it long enough, I'd puke and there was no one stopping me.
Danni was sitting on a plastic chair next to the door. She was looking around the office.
"This place smells awful," She stated, disgusted.
"I know," I agreed, looking around also.
Suddenly, Dr. Hillman walked back into the office five minutes later with a clipboard in her hand, writing something down.
"Okay, Bella. So you've been experiencing a bit of sickness and fatigue, correct?"
I nodded. "Correct."
"That's completely normal."
I sighed in relief. "Oh. Okay. Wow, I am so relieved."
She smiled and I looked over at Danni, who smiled back.
"So nothing serious?" I asked, watching her check the papers on the clipboard.
She chuckled. "Of course not, honey."
I smiled wider.
"Listen, girls in your condition get easily frightened. It's perfectly and one hundred percent normal."
I narrowed my eyes confusingly and my smile slowly faded. "C-Condition? But I thought you said it wasn't serious."
Danni stood up abruptly from her chair and walked over to us. "What condition is she in, exactly?" She asked concerningly while I nodded in agreement at the doctor.
Dr. Hillman eyed both of us behind her thick glasses. "Oh dear."
I chewed madly on my bottom lip.
"I-Is that a good oh dear or a bad oh dear?" Danni asked, squinting her eyes.
"Is there even a good oh dear? I'm pretty sure it's bad," I rambled, already feeling the knots forming in my stomach.
Dr. Hillman cleared her throat before staring at me straight in the eyes. "Honey, you're pregnant."
........................What? WHAT?
Danni's jaw fell. She took a step back. Her suddenly trembling hands reached her mouth as her eyes widened exaggeratedly. And me? I sat paralyzed. I literally couldn't move a single muscle in my measly little body.
Those words hit me like a slap in the face. PREGNANT?! It probably took me about five minutes to regain just the little bit of the sanity left in me.
I tried swallowing down a large ball of saliva that was simply refusing to budge. "W-What?"
Danni breathed out, leaning against the bed and began fanning herself with her hand. She looked like she was going to pass out.
Dr. Hillman stared back and forth at me and Danni.
I began sweating like a dog, breathing like I was losing air. I soon felt Danni's warm trembly hand touch mine.
I looked down and stared at it for a while until I pulled my hand away. My eyes fell on Dr. Hillman.
"Did you honestly not know you were pregnant, Bella?" She asked patiently.
My mouth dropped. "Does this look like the face of someone who'd know?"
"Calm down, Izzy," I heard Danni say, as she once again placed her hand on mine.
"Calm down?!" I squeaked. "Calm down? D-Didn't you hear what she just said?! I'm, I'm...Shit!" Something came over me. I was losing it.
"Izzy!" Danni hissed. Her gaze fell on the doctor. "Doc, are you absolutely sure that she's pregnant? I mean, this all might be a misunderstanding or...."
Dr. Hillman removed her glasses. "There is no misunderstanding. Izabella seems to be experiencing all the symptons. From morning sickness to dizziness to headaches. She's pregnant."
"Oh sweet Jesus!" I leaped off the bed in one motion. Dr. Hillman looked startled as she stepped back.
"Dear, it's alright. A lot of girls get pregnant at your age," She said calmly with her hands out.
I began walking back and forth in a completely agitated state.
"Izzy, for Christ's sake, calm down," Danni pleaded.
"Honey, I think you should sit down. You might pass out," Dr. Hillman said, setting her clipboard down.
I held my hands up. "Please. Please tell me this is some sick joke."
Danni sighed and strided over to me, grabbing my arms. "Izzy, you have to calm down."
"I AM NOT PREGNANT!"
My sister rolled her eyes, tugging my arm. "Thank you for your time, Dr. Hillman. I'll be taking her away now. Good day."
Dr. Hillman opened her mouth to say something, but nothing came out. I knew very well I was shocking the hell out of her.
My sister was holding onto me tightly in fear I'd collapse face first on the ground, which I totally would if she wasn't so damn strong.
She led me out of the office and into the crowded waiting room. I then froze on the spot, and Danni too had to stop. She stared at me in wonder.
"Iz?"
Small tears began escaping my eyes and my lips began quivering. "This can't be happening."
"Hon, it's okay. I'm right here with you. I'll be with you every step of the way."
I shook my head, stuffing my face in my hands.
Danni placed an arm around my shoulder, pulling me close.
"It's all gonna be fine."
"You're not the one who has to go through all of this, are you?!" I snapped loudly, making all heads turn our way. A few kids that were sitting on the floor stopped playing with the rubber toys to stare wide eyed at me.
"Iz, stop. You're scaring people. Let's get you out of here. Fast," She whispered sternly. I continued shaking but Danni, bless her, managed to get me across the room and out the door.

__________

"Izzy? Come out, Izzy!" Danni banged on the bathroom door like a psycho. I ignored her squawking while I was sitting on the edge of the bathtub, staring down at the third pregnancy test I had taken. That little plus sign was staring back at me again. And again.
I let out a small squeak.
The incessant banging continued and I was getting sicker by the minute.
"Izabella Moore!"
I sighed frustratingly and stood up, walking over to the door and opening it. Danni was with her fist in mid-air and quickly let it drop once I showed my face.
"So?" She asked, furrowing her eyebrows.
I sniffed, looking down and holding the pregnancy test up. "Positive again."
Danni breathed deeply, combing her hair back. "Now are you done denying that you're pregnant?"
I groaned, stomping my way to my bed.
"Shut up. I am not pregnant," I muttered, throwing the pregnancy test far.
Danni scoffed. "Riiight. Cause three pregnancy tests and Dr. Hillman can totally back you up on that."
I sniffed again,.
"I don't know why you even bothered to run out and buy three freaking pregnancy tests knowing that the doctor herself said you are pregnant."
"I just wanted to make sure. She could be wrong, you know." I shrugged, knowing how stupid I sounded.
"And how exactly might she be wrong?"
"I don't know, Danni, but it's a possibility!" I retorted.
She shook her head. "Dude, she's a doctor."
"You know how much I hate doctors. I just don't know if I can trust them."
Danni gave me a quizzical look. "Okay, I'm going to ignore all the bullshit you just said cause you and I both know that this is all just you trying to convince yourself and the world that you're not pregnant. But Iz, my not-so-innocent-anymore-sister, you are."
I made a face, trying desperately to come up with something clever to say back but no luck. Flipping her off was my only response.
She smirked. "You know I'm right, babe. And save the bird flipping for another time. Like when you're in horrible pain and the doctor's telling you to push until you feel like all your guts are spilling out of you."
I groaned. "Shut up! I can't hear this shit right now!" I covered my ears.
Danni came over to sit down by my side. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm just as freaked out as you are, Iz. I mean, you're my baby sister."
I stared at her and that's when I felt my eyes burning. It didn't take long for me to start bawling like a baby in my sister's arms.
"I'm really sorry," She said, stroking my hair.
I sighed, lifting my head. "For what? This isn't your fault," I cried. "It's not your fault I'm pregnant at eighteen! It's not your fault I had sex and forgot the fucking condom!"
Danni rolled her eyes. "Wow, I see the hormones are already kicking in."

__________

"Izzy? Please, just say something. Anything. You can yell again if you want," Danni begged, shaking me. I was sitting, frozen, on my couch. My sister was kneeled in front of me, trying everything to break my trance away.
Finally, I sighed sadly. "Is this really happening? Am I in some sort of nightmare?"
Danni's face softened. "No, Izzy, you're not."
I hung my head low.
"Do you know what you're going to do? I-I mean, with the baby? You gonna keep it?" She questioned, rubbing my shoulders.
"Don't ask me that now. Please. I'm incapable of thinking."
She nodded understandingly. "Okay. Forget I asked."
I bit my quivering lip and moved my body in attempt to get off the couch. Danni stepped aside and watched as I paced my living room back and forth.
"It's kind of ironic how just three days ago we were talking about babies, huh?" Danni stated with an incredibly nervous laugh.
"Yeah, the irony seems to be getting a real kick out of this," I mumbled, stuffing my face in my hands.
Danni scoffed. "Iz, I know you're beyond freaked right now but you gotta think about what you're gonna do! When are you gonna tell Tom?"
I paused, removing my hands from my face. "Oh my God. Tom!"
"What, did you forget about him? He's sort of the key element in this situation."
I groaned. "I can't tell him."
She made a face. "What? You have to tell him, sis. He has the right to know."
I shook my head and didn't say anything.
"What are you afraid of?" She asked.
"Well, his reaction, for one thing. I can't even imagine the rest."
"Oh, Izzy. If he loves you-" She began saying but I cut her off.
"No, no, no. There are just some things that love alone can't solve."
This made her laugh quietly. "You're paranoid."
"Yes. Yes I am." I began pacing again.
"So you're not keeping it, then?"
I slapped my forehead. "I don't know. I told you not to ask me right now!"
"Sorry, sorry," She said, holding her hands up in defense. "I woke the beast."
I rolled my eyes and suddenly came to another stop. "Hey, maybe I don't have to tell him!"
She narrowed her eyes. "Right. It won't be weird at all when he sees your stomach growing inexplicably every month. Get real, Iz."
I blew some air out of my mouth. "What if he doesn't notice?"
Danni glared. "Has pregnancy made you stupid?"
I stuffed my face in my hands again. "I'm dead, Danni. My life is officially over."
"Oh, don't be such a drama queen!"
I glared at her. "I'm gonna have to tell mom and dad!"
"Only if you plan on keeping it. I mean, if you get an abortion, there's a good chance no one will ever find out. I'll keep your secret."
I flopped down on the couch letting my sister's words sink in. "A-Abortion? You mean like killing it?" I stared down at my stomach and pulled my shirt up. There was my flat stomach. It was weird imagining that something was actually in there. Something alive.
Danni made a sad face. "Yeah."
I bit the corner of my lip, placing a hand on my stomach. "I can't do that. I can't kill it."
"But it's not even formed yet, Iz. Think about that."
"I don't care. It's still murder!" I sighed.
Danni nodded once again. "So you're keeping it?"
I stared down at my flat stomach again, taking in a huge breath. "Yes."
"You're sure?" She leaned in closer. "Positive?"
I pursed my lips. "Yes?"
"Good God, Izzy, could you be any less convincing?" She shook her head.
I sighed out. "Yeah, I'm keeping it, okay? I'm keeping it." I leaned back, pulling some hair away from my face.
"You think you can handle a baby right now?" She asked, placing her hand on my stomach.
It took me a while to answer. I was thinking things over.
"I have to handle this."
"You won't be alone. I'm here," Danni said, comforting me.
I smiled crookedly. "I-I can't stop shaking."
She laughed quietly. "It's normal."
"I never thought I'd get pregnant like this, Danni, I really didn't. I thought I'd be at least thirty and married!"
She nodded.
"What the hell? I'm so irresponsible!" I slapped my forehead again.
Danni shook her head. "Both of you are irresponsible. And you know what, I blame Tom for this."
I shrugged. "Oh, come on, Danni. I mean, I know you don't like him but we're both to blame. I was the one who sort of....initiated."
She quirked a brow. "You?"
I made a face. "Yeah."
She sighed. "How lovely. And not once did you stop and think about protecting yourself before you initiated?"
I shrugged again. "Heat of the moment?"
She shook her head. "Teenagers."
I grabbed the nearest cushion and stuffed my face in it. "I am so scared."
I felt Danni's hand on my back, rubbing it. "I know."
We stayed in silence for a while and I grew nervous by the second.
"Three cheers for unprotected sex, eh, Izzy?" Danni joked, clearly trying to lighten the mood.
My head slowly turned in her direction and I just glared at her.
She made a scared face. "Too soon for jokes? Okay. Got it."