Dark And Light

A Reluctant Meeting

Mia’s text message woke me and when I read it I knew that it would be over soon. She’d probably had enough living my boring kind of life and I couldn’t really blame her. I checked the phone again and re-read the message.

Maddy, we need to meet up and soon. Please contact me as soon as you can, its important to me that you do. May be we can meet half way. Mia xx

I sighed. It was over; I’d definitely never see Mike again, but what an experience to take back with me. I couldn’t wait to tell Jed all about it. Yawning I sent a message back to Mia.

How about I meet you at that corner café that we used to go to with Dad when we were younger? I’ll see you there at midday. Text back if you can’t make it. Maddy x

I dressed quickly and quietly then headed out of the flat before Judy woke, I didn’t want to explain to her where I was going, I needed to get out of there for a while, may be I’d never be back here again.

This was probably the end of it.

**

She was sitting at the table in the window and a memory of the two of us being brought here by Dad sometimes when we’d travelled up to London came over me. I remember Dad and me always ordering donuts and Mia sitting there eating a banana. Typical Mia but I could understand now how it must have been for her, trying to stay slim in the world of twig like people competing against each other. She would probably have loved just to scoff a donut like me but never did.

“Hey,” she said looking up at me as I entered the café. She looked different, when I’d seen her before she seemed dull and lifeless as though she needed a damn good break from whatever it was she did. Her eyes were lit up and she seemed content.

“I’ve bought us a donut,” she said, “and the waitress is going to bring us over a couple of hot chocolates with double cream on top. I hope you still like it that way?” She said anxiously looking at me. What was this? Was she buttering me up to tell me that she hated my boring little life, to remind me that I was a nothing and a nobody and was going nowhere. Of course she was.

“Are you having chocolate and cream on top too?” I said astounded, as the waitress brought over two huge cups of chocolate, the amount of cream on top was obscene.

“Of course,” she said grabbing a teaspoon and heaping cream onto it, eating it almost ravenously.

**

Maddy looks good I thought. She’s obviously been taking a little bit more care over her make up and she looks much better in that black t-shirt than I ever did. I bet she must hate being me, must hate dressing up and living in London. It was probably too busy for her and she must be desperate to get back. I don’t think she’s going to like what I’m going to say.

“So,” Maddy said. “When were you going to tell me that you have been married?”

I dropped the spoon and it clanked quite loudly on the table. I hadn’t expected this. How had she found out?

“How do you know?” I said looking at her. She looked different, she had a glow about her, and she looked relaxed, like she’d been on a holiday or something.

“Judy came back a little earlier than she’d planned. She scared the shit out of me but guess what? She doesn’t even think I’m me. What I mean to say is she still thinks I’m you,” said Maddy, then her voice dropped. “He was a bully wasn’t he? He beat you didn’t he?”

Tears filled my eyes and I picked the spoon up and dipped it into the cream, stirring it up, not wanting to think about him.

“Why on earth didn’t you tell me Mia?” she said in a voice that sounded quite hurt.

“I…I don’t know really why I didn’t tell you. We’d grown so distant of each other, it was like you didn’t exist sometimes and other times I really missed you but the gap had widened, we led different lives and I didn’t think you’d understand. You’d do the ‘I told you so’ thing and you’d be right. I met him one day, two days later he’d moved into my flat then a week after that he threw the most lavish engagement party and took me off to meet his parents. We led the high life, we flew to a different country for the weekend nearly every couple of weeks then he got some wedding planner in to plan our wedding. It cost a fortune. Everyone thought he was wonderful and to the outside world he was, he was gentle, funny and clever. At home it was a different story, he picked on me at every turn, watching what I wore, watching who I was looking at when we were out, keeping an eye on what I ate, how much of his money I spent and then he started getting drunk and hitting me. That was it, I left him and never went back.”

Maddy put her hand out onto her sisters.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realise,” she said.

“No because I didn’t tell you and you were the one person I should have told. There was many a time when I just wanted to run home, to our old house and to see you and to snuggle up in my old bed, watch TV and forget everything. After I left him I got depressed, the work was drying up and I felt worthless. I got sick of dressing up to try and keep up with everyone else. It was so plastic and false and I didn’t know where to turn and there you were, all along, you were there at the end of the phone and I should have known.”

”Oh Mia.”

“So now you know and that’s one of the reasons for doing this and I’m glad I’ve done it, I’ve enjoyed it so much Maddy, more than ever I thought I would,”

“Really?” said Maddy, astounded.

“Of course, you know I’ve built a couple of websites for people and they were so pleased with my work they’ve recommended me to other people and there are two more clients lined up for work for the rest of the week. Oh Maddy, let’s just do this for a little longer, I know you’re probably sick of it in London but, may be just a bit longer.”

“What?” Was she hearing this right? Mia wanted to stay in her shoes, be her because she was enjoying it?

“I know what you’re thinking, that how can I be enjoying myself at our old house. Well I am Maddy, its great and Jed hasn’t even guessed that I’m not you,”

”Jed’s back?” said Maddy. Oh shit.

“Yes, he’s been back awhile. He’s always in and out of the house, is he always like that?”

”Mostly, yeah, I suppose, and he hasn’t guessed that you’re not me?” Maddy said, astonished that her oldest friend hadn’t guessed. Well neither had Judy, Mia’s oldest friend.

“No, not one bit, I’m sure of it.” She was sure, she was sure that he hadn’t guessed and she’d tried to keep under wraps that she’d fallen for him. She needed to spend more time with him.

“Wait until he realises,” Maddy said, “you must know how he feels about you?”

“Yeah, I kind of do now,” I said hating the fact that Jed hated the real me.

I watched Maddy lean back in her chair and for the first time in my life I thought she was pretty. Yeah, she was my twin and all and looked like me but she never made the most of herself and now, she looked good.

“Did you ever get to meet that Mike guy?” I asked her. She blushed and I knew.

”Yeah…yeah I did. Sorry I didn’t take any notice of your messages. I met up with him and had a great time.” She wasn’t looking at me.

“Maddy you know all about him don’t you. You knew who he was and that band he plays in, you know even now I couldn’t tell you what their name was. Maddy I’m so pleased for you,” I looked away then realising I’d stumbled on something here and didn’t want to embarrass her too much. “He was the one of your dreams wasn’t he?”

“He was.” She was looking at me now, quite boldly. “He’s the only one I’ve ever thought about, laugh if you want and I know I’m too old to have these crush like feelings over someone but I never found ‘real’ guys to match him even though I’d never met him.”

“Well you have now and…what is he like?”

“He’s great. We got on but he thinks…he thinks I’m you.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. Mia there is something else, I slept with him last night at his hotel.”

“Oh Maddy,” said Mia this time being the one to put her hand out onto her sisters.

“Yeah and he…”

“He what? What is it Maddy?”

“He was my first time.” She said. Poor, poor Maddy having to confess that. I hadn’t realised but it was obvious really even though I’d never thought about it.

“What a way to start,” I said.

“You could say that.” Said Maddy grinning all over her face.

“So…what do we do?” I said.

“I haven’t a clue,” said Maddy then sighing.

“Another week?” I said hoping that she’d say lets make it longer. I wanted to but didn’t want to sound so keen. I wanted to spend more than a week more with Jed.

“Ok. Another week,” said Maddy who was disappointed. Only another week. Another week with the hope that I may see Mike again but that would just be a bad idea. I had to forget Mike because we were going nowhere.

The twins got up from the table, hugged each other tightly and vowed to meet up, same time, same place in a week’s time but neither of them wanted to think about that right then.