Dark And Light

I’d done it.

I’d done it, finally and with Mike Dirnt at that.

Who’d have thought it, me, that boring plain person who hardly left the house and who had worshipped Mike Dirnt for most of my adult life, had slept with him. It was kind of surreal.

But I was meant to be Mia so therefore; technically, she’d slept with him.

Looking across the bed, Mike was snoring soundly, his tanned arms and highly coloured tattoos such a contrast against the crisp white hotel sheet.

He’d made it special and seemed kind of shocked that I was a virgin, I knew he was shocked, as a slight surprise was evident in his gorgeous eyes but at that moment, that very moment I hadn’t cared what he’d thought, I’d just cared about what he was doing to me and, well, he’d done it well.

Twice.

It was now, in the cold light of day, as the room grew brighter, with the sun filtering through the cracks in the curtains that I wondered what he had been really thinking last night, probably thinking what a freak I must have seemed at 21 years old.

I’d so enjoyed his company yesterday, as I hadn’t laughed like that in ages, even with Jed. The two of us just acted silly one minute and had had such intense conversations the next but I’d enjoyed it most when he’d told me all about his little daughter Estelle whom I sort of felt I knew about already.

Well I thought I knew all about her, that was until Mike told me how she was with him, how she had him wrapped around her little finger, how he’d tried teaching her the bass but she was more interested in Uncle Tre teaching her the drums that her and Ramona, when they got together were quite naughty, that she’d starting having a thing about not eating meat, that she was allergic to cats and dogs and that she had always had a little thing for Billie’s son Joey. Things I’d probably never have known if I hadn’t of met him.

I watched him as he stirred awake but I suddenly began to feel nervous because this would have to end soon, I’d have to go back to my house, my job and Jed. That was fine, I’d missed Jed and felt desperate to call him up and tell him my news but…I was enjoying myself and I didn’t want Mia to come back and pick up with Mike where I would be leaving off.

I got up, quickly and quietly and dressed myself, my eyes on Mike trying to make sure that he didn’t stir. Grabbing my clothes I slipped out of the room after one final lingering look at him, still finding the whole thing totally unbelievable then went down to the hotel lobby where there were some ladies toilets. I went in there and checked myself in the mirror and noticed a glow about me that I’d never had before, pink cheeks and my eyes were sparkling more than I’d ever known. Splashing my face and trying to clear my eyes of dirty looking smudged mascara I quickly combed my hair, tied it back then left the hotel, stepping into a taxi that was waiting outside.

Glancing back at the hotel I’d never forget that night as long as I’d live but it had to end, I’d cheated on Mike before it had even begun, I’d cheated him by lying about who I was.

Paying the taxi driver I headed up the stairs but as I went I realised that I’d never see him again, let alone kiss those beautiful lips and feel his fingers on my skin. I’d have to go back to dreaming about him but then something dawned on me and I’d have to live with it and had confused it with the crush-like feelings I’d had for years but these feelings were different, they were new to me but I also knew what they were.

I’d fallen in love with him.

I sighed heavily as I entered the key in the lock then noticed a holdall and an expensive pair of stiletto heels in the hallway, then a voice called out.

“You dirty stop out, who’ve you been with all night?”

It was Mia’s friend Judy, back early from Spain.

Oh shit.

**

“That was a fucking awesome lasagne,” said Jed leaning back in his chair and taking a slurp from his beer.

”Thanks,” I said grabbing the plates and heading over to the dishwasher. I couldn’t believe I’d cooked my first lasagne. I’d scoured Maddy’s cookery books and had found a couple of lasagnes but one in particular stood out as it had specks of ingredients on the page so I guessed that was the one she’d used and I had to admit, it had been tasty.

“How about you come into mine tomorrow and I’ll cook your favourite?” He said looking over at me. He’d been here ages once again and I still hadn’t realised what he did for a living until over dinner he’d mentioned his boss at the local music magazine and I guessed he did something there. What it was I didn’t know.

This was getting harder. I was going to have to give this all up in a week and I wasn’t sure I wanted to then I thought I’d love to catch up with Judy again and have a laugh about things like we always did, she’d laugh about this when I told her then the other side was that I would probably never see Jed again and I didn’t want that. He made me laugh so much, he was such a great guy, kind it seemed and helpful as he came over to me and helped me load up the dishwasher than grab a cloth from the sink to wipe up the table.

“Hey, go and sit down,” he said. “You look tired, go and put your feet up and I’ll bring you out a coffee, just how you like it.”

I did as I was told, he was a good bloke and he was really interesting with some of the things he talked about, I loved listening to his tales and he laughed when I sounded interested.

“Maddy you don’t have to sound interested all of a sudden,” he said, “sometimes I forget what I’ve told you and you usually tell me to ‘shut the fuck up because you’ve heard that story fifty times before.” That’s when she’d remembered that she wasn’t Maddy after all, she was Mia and she’d have to be careful because when he found out he would hate her even more than he did now.

As she said goodnight to him at the door he made her laugh about something and she nearly wet herself she was laughing so much.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, at mine for dinner, OK?” He shouted from the end of the driveway.

“That’ll be great,” I shouted back then shut the door realising I’d never met anyone like him before just a normal guy who obviously didn’t earn loads of money but seemed happy.

Climbing the stairs to Maddy’s room I realised something.

I’d fallen in love with Jed, it was like nothing ever before, even my ex-husband but he thought I was just his best friend Maddy. I’d lied to him, Maddy had lied to him and I didn’t want to lie to him anymore.

I’d decided, I was going to tell him tomorrow, tell him what we’d done then contact Mia, get her back home then I’d have to return to London.

The thing was, I didn’t want to.

**

”I knew you’d be with him and I’m glad for you Mia, he seemed such a nice guy when we met him before,” Said Judy, sprawled all over the sofa. I hadn’t seen her for years; she’d never liked me and here she was talking to me.

“Looks like you had a good night anyway,” she said chuckling.

I hadn’t spoken yet, I was frightened to. Would she guess that I wasn’t Mia?

“So…have you finally go the bastard out of your system?” she said. “That bully beating ex-husband of yours?” Judy said looking at me directly and waiting for an answer.

”Yes, I think I have,” I finally whispered. What was this all about? Had Mia been married? Why hadn’t she told me? Those photographs I found must really have been Mia’s wedding but he sounded like a wife-beater and I’d not known. I suddenly felt sorry for Mia and wondered what she’d been through and why she hadn’t told me.

I knew why, because she thought I wouldn’t have understood and back then I probably wouldn’t have and would have blamed her like I always used to do.

I think Mia and I had to meet up somewhere to discuss things and decide what to do. Do we carry on for another week in each other’s shoes or do we just go back to normal?

I knew what I wanted to do, I wanted to stay here and be Mia for just a little bit longer and try and get over Mike before I went back home.

I hoped Mia felt the same way but I then felt guilty because she was probably as bored as hell being me.