Just Say Anything

Let's go back to the beginning of my junior year of high school in Tacoma, Washington at Stadium High School, when I finally got James Macavoy to notice me. We dated all from October to April, then the day after our sixth month anniversary I ended it. Since then I haven't been the same, I have been shy and soft-spoken, barely ever saying a word anymore, I told my parents what happened and we settled everything in court in May, James Macavoy is now in jail, where he belongs, but I cannot go back to be the same, outside of my family I don't talk to anyone, I can't get close to anyone out of fear. School ended much to my pleasure and my parents have decided it would be best for me to get out of Washington, as an attempt to get me to be myself again, so they are sending me to live with my aunt and uncles family in Maryland.

It didn't matter much to me where I was going, it's not like sending me away will actually make me become how I used to be, but for my parents, I would do it. Naturally they told my aunt Michelle and my uncle Dan what happened to me and I am assuming that they told my cousin, Jack, what happened as well. I haven't seen them since Jack and I were fourteen and they came down to Washington for Christmas, so it's been awhile; Jack and I still talk though, he is kind of like my older brother, the one I never had. My mom and dad, little sister too, all hugged me right before my flight left, saying how they would miss me and to try and become me again, then I had to board the long flight. So many hours later I walked off the plane and into baggage claim where I saw my aunt Michelle waiting for me.

"Addie, sweetie!" she exclaimed. "It's so good to see you, honey. How are you holding up?"

"Okay, I guess," I told her softly. "I see my bags."

I grabbed them tightly and pulled them off the luggage thing, then followed my aunt outside and to her car. She started a conversation and thankfully did most of the talking, I just had to sit there and listen, occasionally answering a question. Aunt Michelle tried to get me to open up to her for the whole two hour car ride but I couldn't, something always stopped me before I said too much. Finally we pulled up to the house I remember from when I was little, white with blue trim, sitting on the porch was Jack, and another boy.

"Oh, dear," she muttered, glancing at me. I sat there playing with the hem of my t-shirt.

"Hello boys," she called out, "Jack, didn't I tell you not to invite anyone over?"

"Sorry ma," he said. "Alex was just leaving anyways, he only came over like two minutes ago on his way over to tell me that practice was on for tomorrow, not Friday."

"Okay," she smiled. "Addie, let's get you situated."

"Okay." I said, focusing in on my feet, following her inside.

I was led up a flight of steps and into a white room that had a window facing out the street. Aunt Michelle left me alone, after assuring me that we could paint the room and I could hang things up. I had just barely finished putting things in the dresser when there was a knock at my door. It was Jack, standing there awkwardly, grinning like mad.

"Hey, Addison," he said, engulfing me into a hug. "It's nice to see you."

"Hi, Jack," I replied back weakly.

"Come on Ad," he pleaded, "Smile for me."

A smile appeared on my face and even somebody who didn't know me would be able to tell it was about as real as Pamela Anderson's boobs. Jack sighed at me feeble attempt to even make it seem genuine but hugged me nonetheless, telling me how much he missed me and that I was going to have the best summer of my life. That was doubtful. His face showed that he was hopeful that this would make me be the fun, loud, outgoing girl he knew, not the shy, reserved, soft-spoken one I had become.

"So, Addison Sophia, need any help unpacking?"

"No," I said. "You drive?"

"Yeah," he scratched the back of his head, wondering what that had to do with anything.

"I need paint."

"I see, well let's go." He pulled me up and led me downstairs. "Mom, I'm taking Addie to go get paint."

"Wait up then," she rushed into the hallway and thrust money into my hands.

"Aunt Michelle, I have money."

"That you can spend on music or clothes, I shall buy the paint."

"Don't even try to protest Addie," Jack chuckled, "She can be very forceful."

"Jack Bassum, you hush now." She laughed, whacking him softly.

"Honey, just take the money,"

With a sigh I took the money she insisted on me having and shoved it in my pocket, hugging her and muttering a thank you. Then Jack and I were on our way to the hardware store; the moment the car was turned on he made sure that the radio came on next and started to belt out a Fall Out Boy song that was playing. Halfway through it I softly began to sing too, hoping that Jack wouldn't hear me, but he did, and complimented my singing but didn't push me on anything about talking or smiling or how I used to belt out a song so people across the country could hear.

"What color paint are you going to get Ad?"

"Purple."

"My room," he said dramatically. "Is red."

"I know," I said quietly.

"Okay," he remarked as we stood in front of the paint swatches. "I think that this lilac one looks nice."

"No, I want the bright purple."

"Whatever," he huffed.

The ride back wasn't nearly as awkward as it had been on the way to the hardware store but still it wasn't the most comfortable ride home either. Jack talked about his band, he said that their name was All Time Low, he played guitar, they were getting ready to release a CD too. That was great, Jack has always wanted something like that to happen and now that it finally is I am happy for him. Although just an hour ago the day had been nice it started to pour just as we pulled into the driveway of the Barakat household and by the time we got inside we were indeed soaked.

"What happened to you two?" Aunt Michelle exclaimed, trying to hide her amusement.

"The rain," Jack mumbled roughly. "I hate rain."

"I actually like it." I said. "It makes me smile and feel so free."

Both, my aunt and Jack looked at me as if I were crazy and I couldn't figure out why, but then it hit me: I hadn't spoken more than seven words at a time since I had gotten there. Quickly I mumbled an excuse that allowed me to go upstairs and get away from all the tension I had just caused. Another knock came to my door and I answered it tentatively, thinking it was probably my aunt, but to my surprise it was my uncle.

"Addie girl," he boomed, "Come give me a hug."

"Hi uncle Dan," I meekly replied.

"I missed you honey, I'm glad you're here." He glanced around my room. "Are you going to paint?"

"Yes, do you have some newspaper?"

"Yes, I am sure we do Addie," he rubbed his beard. "You know, if you're up to it, I'm sure Jack can convince some of his buddies to help you paint."

"I don't know uncle Dan," I softly told him, cringing. "I'm fine painting myself."

"His friends are nice Addison," he said, "I promise they won't hurt you."

He wanted me to say yes, I could tell by the look in his eyes that he wanted me to, it was unlike me to turn down the idea of new friends. Defeated, I said, "Okay."

"Jack," he bellowed. "Round up your friends and tell them to come help Addie and they'll get free pizza!"

"Will do, dad!"

Uncle Dan left me alone for awhile leaving me to think about whether my decision will harm me or not. Jack is bound to have guy friends, possibly ones that pray on the vulnerable girls, like I have been broken down too. Truthfully, right now I am hoping he is gay and only has nice girl friends, that seems very unlikely though, Jack would have told me by now if he was. At least, I think he would have. What seemed like just minutes later, I was startled out of my thoughts by Jack coming into my room shrieking like a banshee.

"Smelly boys and lovely ladies this is my wonderful cousin Addison Sophie," he paused spectacularly, "But only I am allowed to call her that."

"Since Jack's manners only include introducing you," a girl said. "Let me introduce myself, I'm Brie, Jack's girlfriend."

"Hi."

A boy in a gray beanie with blonde hair sticking out came forward next, "I'm Alexander William Gaskarth, call me Alex. I saw you earlier."

"Hey, I'm Rian." A boy with facial hair said. "This is Kara, she's a little shy at first."

Then finally a boy with brownish hair looked at me and smiled warmly, making butterflies go wild inside of me. The first time a guy has had this effect on me since James. "Hi, Addison, I'm Zack Merrick."

My head just nodded stupidly, I wasn't really able to talk, I didn't know these boys for one thing or the girls for that matter, but being around people made me clam up nowadays. Jack must have noticed me tense up because he then took charge and told everyone to take a brush and get painting. Everybody took a wall in pairs, except for Zack, he worked alone on the wall with the window. For some reason he intrigued me which in turn scared me. Two hours later we had accomplished painting my room, everybody but Zack and I talking animatedly, laughing, joking, all the things I had stopped doing awhile ago.

"Kids, pizza's here!"

Everybody practically bolted out of my room; Zack being the first one out, me being the last. My aunt and uncle seemed to know exactly what kind of pizza these people liked, they must come over a lot, as for me I took a piece of the pepperoni pizza and took off all the meat. I have been a vegetarian for about a year and a half now.

"Oh, good, you did get some food," my aunt said. "Do you not like pepperoni, sweetheart?"

"I'm a vegetarian aunt Michelle."

"I didn't even think about that!" she gasped. "Next time we'll get a cheese pizza."

"It's fine, I can take the toppings off."

"How'd you like everyone?"

"They seem nice."

"Honey, will you please try and socialize, this isn't like you."

"Hey, Addison," a girl said, walking over to me, I think it was Brie, "Kara and I are going to the mall tomorrow while the guys practice, would you like to come with us?"

I hesitated, about to say no, but one look at my aunt made me change my answer. Her expression was filled with hope and excitement that I would go. "Sure, I guess."

I survived my first day in Lutherville, Maryland, without having a panic attack. Jack's friends seem nice enough, hopefully, I will be able to learn to trust them and maybe open up to them. I didn't really want to go shopping I would have rather stayed at home, or be with Jack at his practice, even if I did have worse problems with guys. Especially ones that make me feel like it was the beginning of the relationship I had with James.