Just Say Anything

The next day when I woke up I was confused as to where I was out before remembering I was in Maryland. Sighing I stood up and began to get dressed, I had took a shower the night before thankfully, downstairs I could hear talking so I decided to go join them. My aunt was talking to Jack about his band when I walked in; they stopped talking and looked at me.

"Good morning Addie," aunt Michelle said cheerily. "Want some waffles?"

"Sure, thanks," I said. "Jack, what time is your band thing?"

"Two, why?" he asked. "Are you going to come watch us?"

"No, you're friend Brie, invited me to go shopping with her and Kara."

"You're going to go?" shock laced his tone.

"Yes," I said tentatively.

"That's awesome Addison Sophie," he smiled. "You're going to watch us for awhile though, right? I can talk the girls into it."

"Sure I guess. I'd love to see you play."

Both aunt Michelle and Jack looked at me strangely and for a moment I thought I had something on my face but then I realized it was probably because I was talking more so than my parents had probably let onto. I do talk, as long as I know you, and feel comfortable, it's not the same as it had been, I feel like I reveal too much that way, so I keep most thoughts to myself, but if I trust you enough I will talk more. Obviously my parents didn't tell them that; in all honesty I think they sent me here to meet new people that don't know what happen, so they can't judge me.

"Just," I said slowly, "Just don’t leave me alone with them."

"Don't worry," he said reassuringly, "I won't. But, Addie, they are nice guys, they won't hurt you."

I just kind of nodded my head, acknowledging that I would take what he was saying into consideration. Not every guy is like James, this I realize, but it doesn’t stop the fear from getting between me and any guy I don't know since I was five, because they might just end up being exactly like him. Six songs and four lines of a poem written later I was sitting in the passenger seat of Jack's car, on the way to his band practice, to say the least, I was apprehensive. Already there when we got there was Rian, because it was his house, Alex, and Kara; right after we got there Zack and Brie pulled up simultaneously. My heart began racing when I saw Zack, something that I did not want to happen.

"Hey, Addie," Brie said, "I'm glad you could come."

I wondered if these girls and these guys for that matter knew what happened to me. Jack looked at me curiously and I whispered my question into his ear and he shook his head, saying he didn't want to tell them, that was for me to decide. Alex, being impatient practically dragged all three guys into the basement because he was in the zone. Brie, Kara, and I sat down on the couch and they talked quietly as the guys set up their instruments, I felt like an outcast, once again.

"Okay," Alex finally said into a microphone. "This one is for Addie, because she hasn't heard us before." The music started and I realized that they were pretty good. "Luck loves me not tonight, I'm running out…"

Mesmerized by the lyrics, the music, the sound of Alex's voice, and the blend of Zack's voice as well, I sat there dumbfounded, hanging on to every part of the song. When they finished all the guys looked expectantly at me. Jack was the only one that knew I would be brutally honest, he knows that I really get into my music.

"What do you think Addie?"

"It was great." I said enthusiastically.

"Okay, one more song before we leave, okay?" Kara announced.

"Here's one I'm still working on, for the lyrics," Alex stated. "The lights out, I still hear the rain, these images that fill my head…"

When it was over, I asked, "What are the songs called?"

"The first one was Break Out! Break Out!," Jack told me. "And the second was, Jasey Rae."

"Well they're really good."

"Thanks," the guys said in unison.

"Anyways guys, " Brie stood up, "We are kidnapping Addie now, and taking her shopping with us."

"Fine, take our number one fan away babe," Jack whined.

"Jack, you live with her, I think it will be okay."

Jack looked at me and I nodded. These girls didn't seem dangerous, in fact, they reminded me of my best friend Cheyenne, back in Washington. "Well fine, but don't let her buy tramp clothes!"

"Oh yes," Kara chimed in sarcastically, "Because we love tramp clothes."

"Of course we do Kara," Brie said overdramatically. "You know that we work the street corners at night!"

"How could I forget?" she played along. "And we've fucked half the football team."

Out of nowhere I hear a laugh, one I hadn't heard in ages; my laugh. For the first time in months it didn't sound hollow, fake. Everyone started to laugh along with me rather than at me like James and his friends would have done. Jack's eyes met with mine and I could tell that he was happy, he had heard my fake laugh yesterday and it made him frown, and now, he heard my real one, and he was smiling. Brie and Kara dragged me out of the house and we hopped into Brie's car and headed to the nearest mall, at least, I assumed it was the nearest mall.

"So, Addison," Brie asked, "Tell us about yourself?"

"I prefer the name Addie, or Ad, I turn seventeen in three days," I rambled. "My favorite color is purple, my favorite band is The Academy Is…, and my favorite song is Karma Police by Radiohead."

"Nice," Brie replied. "So why are you in Maryland for the summer? Jack didn't say."

"Just visiting my dad's side of the family," I lied. "Hadn't seen them for awhile."

"Oh, cool," Kara said quietly. "But why the whole summer, wouldn't you rather be at home with you're friends?"

"A lot of them went away too," I didn't really lie, most of them ditched me when I dated James. "My friend Cheyenne might come up here for a few days later in the summer though."

"That's pretty awesome,"

Brie and Kara seemed pretty nice and I could see myself getting along with them easily, they kept trying to get me to open up, I wanted to, but something stopped me. It is almost as if I am under the same "spell" I was under with James; he hated it when I met new people, it was just one more person that might end up knowing what he did, if I opened my mouth. He was always afraid I would talk so he would keep adding to the list of "If I Talked…" an incentive for me not to want to talk. In the end it was his own fault people found out, not mine, but I still feel as though he will do something to me if I tell somebody.

"Here we are!" Brie shouted joyously. "Let's go shopping!"

I would have been walking around aimlessly, not really looking at anything if I was on my own, with Brie and Kara it was different, like I was seeing things for the first time. In a way I am, for a long time I was living in a fog, a dream state, a place where nothing was real. Now seeing everything made me smile and realize that I am far away from who I was before April, and even further from James.

"Hey, you okay?" Brie asked me.

"Huh?" I asked. "Oh, yeah, sorry, I guess I just spaced out a little bit."

By this time we had already been shopping for awhile, Kara sighed, "Guys, practice is over, they want us back.

"God," Brie muttered. "They always ruin our fun!"

"You know," I spoke up, "We don't have to go back…"

"Addie, I like the way you think."