Just Say Anything

Two days have gone by and I haven't seen nor have I heard from Zach, to say the least I was hurt, which is exactly what he said he didn't want to happen. That was until I found out that he had gone out of town with his family for the weekend and that he wouldn't even be back until Tuesday, which made me feel relieved, yet a little sad. Luckily, no one had noticed that I was missing Zach, that would have been a little difficult to explain to everyone on my own, and hopefully this will not be a secret relationship because the only person I have told is Cheyenne due to her not being my best friend in the world.

"So, Addie," Alex said, sitting down next to me on the couch. "Have you found out when your friend is coming up here?"

"Next week." I grinned at him. "She's amazing, I can't wait for her to get here."

"But she's not as amazing as me though, right?"

"Of course not Alex, she is much cooler." I laughed as his face distorted.

"No one is cooler than Alexander William Gaskarth."

"I can think of a few people."

"Name them." He demanded.

"Cheyenne, Jack, and Brie." There was also Zach, but I was not about to admit that now; especially not to Alex.

"Okay Jack and Brie are so not cooler than moi!" Alex stated. "I don't know Cheyenne but there is no way she is more awesome than me."

"Oh, but she is Al," I said. "I think you might like her."

"Really?"

"Yes," I said again, "I do."

"Come on," he urged. "Let's go do something! Jack and Brie are doing unholy things involving his penis, Rian and Kara are probably doing that same unholy thing, and Zach is gone! I'm bored."

"Where are we going to go?"

"It's a secret," he said. "You're the only one besides me that will know about it."

"You're not going to like rape me or anything are you?"

"No way!" Alex said, mortified that I would think that. "Addison Sophia Rae Barakat you are my best friend, sorry to disappoint you, but nothing more!"

"That's not disappointing me Alex."

"Good, I don't need you wanting my hot body too!"

"Trust me Alex, I don't want it."

I walked out after him, locking the door behind me, still asking him where exactly is this place that we are going, but he kept his lips sealed. His radio was blasting Blink 182 when we got in and he turned it down, just barely. Again, he told me that this was a place that was to be kept a secret, away from everybody else, I could only tell someone I trusted, who might need a desperate place to get away to. I swore that I wouldn't show anybody this place, much to his pleasure. It was getting to be twilight, the time when the sun was setting and the sky looked pinkish-purple, this was my favorite time because everything was so calm. Alex began to sing along to Adam's Song and soon I joined in, earning a look of dismay from Alex; he had never heard me sing before. By far I was not the best, nor was I the worst, I couldn't make a career out of it like he is.

"I didn't know you could sing Addie."

"Not as well as you can though." I told him. "My voice is amateur."

"It may be amateur but your good. Your voice is already matured and if you nurture it you can be really amazing."

"Thanks Alex." My face was tinged with red. "That means a lot."

"It does?" he asked, changing lanes. "Why?"

"No one ever really compliments my singing because so many people are better than me." I told him. "My family enjoys hearing it you know? But everybody else just shrugs it off."

"I can't imagine why, you're voice is purer than a lot of people's Ad."

There was nothing I could think of to say so I just nodded and focused in on where he was going. We weren't somewhere that I could place, that made me feel slightly uncomfortable but I trusted Alex, something that is usually not done. One of the first things Jack had told me before was "If you ever meet my friends, don't trust Alex easily!" but now I am breaking what he said and trusting Alex whole heartedly. I could just tell that him and Cheyenne would get along great, they remind me of each other: same mannerisms, same loves, same type. When she gets here I am betting they will hate each other, they are going to scream and fight, be worst enemies, and then they're going to end up in bed together. The thought of that made me burst out laughing, getting a quizzical look from the guy I had been thinking about fucking my best friend.

"Care to explain about your outburst of laughter?"

"No, not really." I stuttered out, wiping the tears that had started to fall.

"One day you are going to tell me!" He said, pointing his finger at me.

"Hands on the wheel Mr. Gaskarth. And one day I probably will tell you." I said. "Today is not that day though."

"Damn it!" He swore. "I thought I could get out of you that way."

"No way!" I laughed. Time to Break Up came on and I started to belt the lyrics. "Sing Alex, this is one of the best!"

He obliged and I listened to him sing, laughing when he practically screamed "shit, fuck, I made a mistake…". I think my aunt and uncle suspect that I like Alex, funny when you think about it because in quite a few ways Zach is much different than Alex. In so many ways Alex reminds me of James, coy, slick, funny, charming. One thing that differs between them and sets them a part is that Alex is nice, he has a heart, he is caring, he doesn't hurt girls like that. Yes, he is a one night stand king, but he lets all the girls know not to get involved if they cant handle that it is for one night only. I for one am not partial to having one night stands therefore I stay away from him. Besides, he is like a brother now, like Rian is, just like Jack, my cousin, is the like the older brother I never wanted. The car began to slow down and we were going down a dirt road with just trees surrounding it, as if we were going on a trail through the woods, maybe that is what we were doing. Then I saw a clearing, a large one, with green grass and it was a cliff too, high up, it was beautiful.

"Wow Alex," I said, "You've never shown anybody this?"

"No, I haven't. I come here to think, about everything, this is my place."

"Then why show me?"

"I trust you I guess," He shrugged. "You're always deep in thought so I assumed you would like it."

"I love it." I whispered.

"That's good," he said back. "I found this place awhile back, the day I turned sixteen. I went for a drive around and ended up here."

"That's what I did…" I hesitated. "Back when James first started to get violent. He had hit me and I left him to cool down. I wandered around for awhile and ended up at this secluded park, it looked as if no one had been there in years. Every time I go there nobody else is."

"Damn," he said. "That asshole really fucked with you."

"Yeah, he did."

We fell into a silence and there was not a sound to be heard at all. No birds chirping or the sounds of cars zooming by, no music or people talking around us, nothing, absolute silence. Peaceful is an adjective, a describing word, a perfect word to describe this moment. Side by side we were sitting on the ground just looking down on the town I knew was ours, well his, only mine for the summer.

"What's running through your mind right now?

"Honestly?" I bit my lip.

"Yes, honestly."

"About this past year."

"What else?"

"I'm missing someone."

"Who're you missing?" he asked, confused. "Your family?"

"Them too…I miss Zach."

"You do like him don't you?"

"I'm dating him."

"Since when?" Alex practically shouted.

"Two days ago. At the party, he didn't get drunk, he stayed sober and talked to me. He asked me out. I said yes."

"And you just now tell me Addison? I am hurt, that hurts me right here," he patted his chest, where his heart would be. "Right here."

"I'm sorry…I just didn’t really want to tell anyone without him being here. Besides I trust you."

"Now how I can be mad you didn't tell me after hearing something like that?"

"You can't be."

On the way back home we talked and laughed, about everything and anything. Cheyenne was one topic, why I was laughing earlier another. The relationship I was going to be having with Zach was one too, he told me that Zach was a good guy and wouldn't hurt me. Even if I had already knew, or suspected that, it was a relief to hear from somebody else that he shouldn't hurt me. The relationship might not even last long, although I hope it does, but I do have to leave at the end of the summer, go back to Washington, the state that I despise living in. The same state James lives in. The same state my heart was first broken in. The same state that ruined my life many times, over and over again since the age of seven years old. I was always told that things would get better and they eventually would, things would be fine for a little while then everything would crash and burn once again. Being in Maryland was different.