Cherry Lips And Tattoos

I felt like I was going to my death walking down those stairs. Dad's face was so angry I'd never seen it like that before. He looked so ashamed of me and I was ashamed. Disgusted with myself. Billie was just sitting at the kitchen table looking pale and he didn't look up when I walked into the room.

"Satisfied," said Adi throwing the ingot at me. I caught it. "You've always wanted this haven't you, you little bitch," she said. Ever since Tre brought you into our lives. I could see it in you. You set out to get him and you've succeeded. How could you? We loved you Franky."

"I'm sorry." How feeble did that sound. "It wasn't meant to happen at all. I got drunk."

"Oh blaming the booze again. It's becoming quite a habit with you isn't it. You and drinking don't mix, haven't you got that by now?" she spat.

"I don't know what to say," I said. "I'm ashamed of myself. It shouldn't have happened. There is nothing going on, never has been. It was a one-off," I said. I glanced over at Billie and he looked at me. He wanted more but I didn't think I could give it to him. He was married to Adi.

"Oh so you got what you wanted and that's it," she said. "We're married Franky. Doesn't that mean anything to you at all?"

"Yeah but it's practically over isn't it," I say. I was getting real annoyed now. How dare she come round to my house and treat me like this when her marriage was over and she'd slept with some blond guy behind Billie's back. Wait until he knew...

"Is it?" she said.

"Oh come on now," I said. "Billie said you and he were going to call it a day so don't come round blaming me for everything that's gone wrong in your marriage." I felt nasty then but I wasn't going to take the blame for everything. I'd owned up and apologised and said it was wrong, I couldn't do anything more.

"Franky!" Said Tre.

"May be she's right," said Adrienne starting to cry. "But that still doesn't make this right," she said looking at me.

Billie just got up and walked past me and out the door. He obviously couldn't handle this.

Dad was comforting Adi and I felt like the odd one out.

"Look Adi. All I can say is that it was a mistake, a big mistake. It won't happen again and I wish it...I wish it never had." I ran off upstairs to my room, grabbed my car keys and left the house.

Billie was outside the house with his hands in his pockets. I totally ignored him and I got into the car with tears in my eyes. He was knocking on the window to grab my attention but I couldn't even look at him. I drove off. I was right something I had always wanted to happen - to sleep with Billie - had happened and I'd wish it hadn't. Why couldn't I have been stronger and said no? Cherry Lips & Tattoos. Stop thinking about it.

"I'm sorry Adi," said Tre back in the kitchen.

"So am I Tre," said Adi. "Who'd of thought that everything would have come to this?" she said sadly.

Adi and Tre walked out to the front of the house. Billie is outside but Adi just sadly walks past him. Billie turns to Tre but Tre walks into the house, ignoring him.

"Tre!" Billie shouts. "Please, let me explain dude," he says.

"What's there to explain?" said Tre. "You took advantage of my daughter," he said.

"Did I? Did she not want it either? Hey now Tre, don't you come all the high and mighty with me. Do you think I'd make love to Franky without her consent? You know I wouldn't. She wanted me as much as I wanted her. Tre please listen to me," he said running his fingers through his hair with frustration.

"I can't talk about this now," said Tre.

"Why? Because it's like something you would do? How many young girls have you slept with?"

Tre spun round, "What do you mean?" he said.

"Oh not young like that but young women. Loads Tre, lets face it. But they are all one-night stands, pick em up, shag them, every ones happy and go on to the next, that right Tre?" Billie said.

"It's not like that," said Tre, suddenly he felt ashamed.

"But it is," said Billie, but he hated hurting his friend.

"May be. I had someone special once though. Someone like Adi that I loved and protected and cared for. That's what pisses me off. You're happily married to Adi and you do this to her," said Tre. "I'd never ever in my entire life have done that to Sammi," he said.

"We're not happily married any more, haven't been for some time," said Billie.

"I'm sorry for that," said Tre. "So you just needed sex, like I do. That seems worse Billie, we're talking Franky here," he said.

"Actually no," said Billie, frustrated and running his hands through his hair again. Fuck how could he explain. Shit he'd just have to tell him.

"Tre I think I'm in love with Franky." He blurted out.

"Oh right" laughed Tre sarcastically. "So that makes it all right does it? You THINK you love her. Good. That's it I can accept it now," he said.

"Tre I do. I love her," said Billie slumping down on the chair.

Tre looked at his friend. Billie looked worn out.

"How long then?" said Tre. "How long have you 'loved' Franky?"

"I think...I think it really hit me the night of the Grammy's. Yeah. I realised then," said Billie.

"You and all the others then," said Tre. Fuck. Why had he taken her to the Grammy's? But if it weren't the Grammy's it would have been something else. Guys seemed to just fall in love with Franky. She was her mother's daughter all right.

"Tre I don't know what to do," said Billie simply.

"I don't know what you should do. Actually yeah I do. You're married to Adi and to me that's it. You either stay married to her and make a go of it or you split up and start again. You can't have both," said Tre.

"Do you think I'd stand a chance with Franky?" said Billie, pleading with his friend.

"Who knows? She's young, she's got her whole life ahead of her. She does like you and she had a major crush on you when she was young," said Tre.

"Did she?" said Billie, surprised.

"Oh Billie where were you, on another planet of course she did. I think that was years ago. She's a grown woman and well...there's Gerard to think of."

"Oh him," said Billie, he didn't want to be reminded of Gerard.

"Yeah him. She told me she likes him a lot. There's one thing though that Gerard hasn't got that you have," said Tre.

"What's that?" said Billie.

"A wife," said Tre, serious now.

"Point taken," said Billie.

"You need to sort yourself out," said Tre who still wasn't entirely happy with his friend.

As Billie got up Tre spoke.

"Have you written much since we got back from tour?"

"Not a thing," said Billie.

"Me neither. No inspiration, nothing. Don't know if I'm bothered too much about it though. Are you?"

"What do you mean?" said Billie.

"Well. We've done so much. May be we all need a change. May be we should call it a day, let's have a chat with Mike sometime soon shall we?" said Tre.

"You can't be serious," said Billie.

"Yeah I am," said Tre. "Things are changing Billie and I'm not sure that I can do this for much longer."

"May be you're right. May be it's time to move on and away from each other," said Billie.

He picked up his car keys from the kitchen table left the house and drove off.

Tre didn't even watch him go.

Later...

Tre is worried so decides to get into his car and decides to go to look for his daughter. Where the hell could she be? He remembered Billie saying once that she'd either go to the cemetery or up in the mountains at the picnic spot. Which one? I think I'll try the cemetery he thinks to himself.

He saw the little mini parked up outside the cemetery gates. All was quiet when he got out of the car. The birds were singing and everything was happy with the world. Was it?

There she was, his beautiful girl. What the fuck had he been playing at? How could he not see what was going on? Everyone wanted a piece of Franky and he didn't think she could cope. They had their record coming out in a couple of months, may be it had all got too much for her. All the attention, she was only young. May be she could do with a small holiday.

She looked up as he approached. Her eyes were red and swollen where she had been crying, his little drummer girl. She stood up and hugged him tight, squeezed him tight and held onto him for ages. He let her just hold onto him until she was ready to talk.

"Dad I don't know what to say," she said.

"I don't know what to say either honey, but I'm surprised at you," he said.

"Why?" said Franky.

"You're so young," Tre replied.

"But I'm not dad, I'm 18 soon."

"I know, I forget sometimes," said Tre." But with Billie, what were you thinking?"

"Dad it just happened. We both wanted it. We're adults."

"I know, but to me you're still my little girl and I get scared for you."

"Billie says he thinks he loves me," said Franky. Cherry Lips & Tattoos.

"Well...Billie told me he...he definitely loves you," said Tre reluctantly.

"Did he?" said Franky.

"Yep, a short while ago."

"Shit," said Franky sighing.

"Yeah. Shit," said Tre, repeating her.

"I'm sorry for Adi."

"So am I," said Tre.

"But Dad you don't know the half of it," she said.

"I think I do," said Tre.

"What do you mean?" Franky asked him and looking up.

"Well they've not been getting on as of late," said Tre.

"Yes but there is more to it," said Franky looking away.

"Oh, and how do you know?" said Tre.

"I saw a photograph," she suddenly said.

"What photograph?" asked Tre. He didn't like the sound of this.

"Of Adi and another guy," said Franky, but she felt ashamed having to tell Adrienne's secret.

"Oh. When was this?"

"It was in Pam's bag that night she...that night she slept with you," blurted out Franky. "It was of Adi and that guy from the health club, Sven I think his name is," she said.

"It makes sense now," said Tre.

"What makes sense?" said Franky.

"The bribery," said Tre.

"What bribery? What's going on here Dad? What do you know?"

"That bitch Pam has been bribing Adi. I think she drugged Adi, videoed her and took photos of her. She's been giving her money so that she won't show Billie anything."

"Oh my god. I thought she was having an affair with him," said Franky.

"I don't think Adi is like that at all," said Tre.

"Fuck," said Franky. What had been going on? "But she should have told Billie, Dad. That's her one mistake. It wouldn't have come to any of this if only she'd told Billie," said Franky.

"I agree. But I'm still sad for her," said Tre.

"Dad?" said Franky.

"Yes baby," said Tre.

"I think I need to go away soon, just a short visit to see Charlie. I think people are sick of me around here."

"It's up to you honey," said Tre, but he thought this would be a good idea.

"Yeah I think I'll go soon. The record will be a while coming out," she said.

"May be it's for the best. I love you Franky. You know I'm there for you," said Tre.

"I know dad but sometimes there are things that you don't tell your dad." She smiled.

"Oh like you've slept with his friend," said Tre. Like I've slept with your friend and I feel so goddam awful about it.

"Yeah something like that," said Franky.

They hugged for ages then went back to their cars.

**

Billie pulled into the picnic spot and turned off the engine. He reclined the seat and lay back folding his arms across his chest. His shades were on and he closed his eyes. He was so confused.

Was it possible to love two women at the same time? Yes, it must be because he did. There was his Adi who he had loved nearly all his life. His beautiful Adi who had given him two gorgeous boys. He'd always love her but it was a changed love, a cosy love, no longer passionate. Something had changed it but he didn't know what. He cared for her so much so yes he did still love Adi. He loved her but may be wasn't in love with her. IF that made sense.

Then there was Franky. Cherry Lips. Did he love her? Yes he loved her too. Again a different love, a new love. He wanted to be with her and show her things, share things and laugh together, be comfortable and happy. Have children together even. How long had he known he'd loved her? Could he pin point it? Lets see. They'd always gotten on. They were so alike. When she was a child they'd had fun together and seemed to be in tune. But he really noticed her after this tour when he saw her for the first time as a woman. She'd changed and he felt it in the pit of his stomach when he saw her at Tre's that first night back. Then.. well her amazing song writing had struck him. She was so talented and had so much to give. She was going to be famous in her own right and he wanted to be a part of it. Then there was her beauty. He'd noticed that at the night of the Grammy's when she came down the stairs. She had left him so gob smacked he couldn't speak, but it was later at the after show party when they were all round her like flies, Jude Law, that Pete Wentz even wanted her and they were all looking, all the young band guys looking at Franky. His Franky? No she wasn't because then Gerard Way got in there and he saw the way she looked at him. He wanted her to look at him like that because he loved her but he knew it wouldn't be returned. Was he wrong to love her? Wrong to love one of his best friend's children? Was it sick? No she was practically 18. He couldn't help it. He had fallen in love with Franky and he couldn't change the fact. He didn't know how it was going to turn out.

He switched on the engine then turned on the radio and the song playing on the radio was the Buzzcocks'

"... ever fallen in love with someone you shouldn't have fallen in love with... "

He put the seat up, turned off the radio and drove home.

The next day...

I felt cooped up at home so decided to take Milton out for a walk. "Come on boy," I said to him. I had neglected him a little lately. He was so excited about going out and jumped up and licked my face. I ruffled his neck and ears. "I love you Milton," I said. "Shall we just run off together, you and me?" I laughed.

We walked slowly to the park but Milton was jumping up around me all excitedly. As soon as we entered the park I let him off the lead and he chased after his ball that I'd thrown. I went over to sit under the usual tree but there was somebody already there. Adrienne. Oh shit.

She stood up when she saw me. Please don't start an argument here, not in public I thought.

"Hi." was all she said.

"Hi," I said back.

"Look we need to talk," she said. She looked dreadful, really thin and pale. I've hurt her so much I thought. I'm a bitch.

"Yeah we do," I said sadly. "But you also need to talk to Billie."

"Look Franky this isn't easy for me but I'm not blaming you entirely for everything. The marriage was breaking down and it had come to its natural end. Billie knew that and so did I but I just don't think we wanted to face facts that the something that was so good had ran out." She sat down then and I sat quite near her.

"It's been so hard trying to come to terms with it. I realised it when he was away on tour and things weren't the same when he came back. He didn't fit into my lifestyle. It was like he was invading it and I resented him. I also had something going on that I couldn't discuss with him. I've hurt him badly."

"I know."

"Do you?" she said looking sadly at me.

"Yeah I know about the guy from the health club," I whispered.

"How?" said Adi, shocked.

"I found a photograph of you and him having sex," I said.

"Oh fuck," she said her hand coming to her mouth. "I'm ashamed."

"I feel sorry for you Adi but Billie should have been told what Pam had done to you. He would have understood. You've let it go on too long. He's been hurt thinking you've been seeing someone else."

"I know."

"I'm sorry it had to come to this," I said.

"You are so similar," she said.

"Who?"

"You and Billie," she said. "I've always thought so, even when you were younger. I've always resented you slightly for that. You got on so well and could talk about things with him that I couldn't. I wasn't jealous it was just something that you and he had together, a little tiny bit of something that he and I didn't have," she said.

"I didn't realise you thought that."

"No. It was only me that noticed. I think that you and he would be good together," Adi said.

"WHAT?" I said standing up. "NO way. This is not what I want," I said. Is it what I wanted? Did I finally get the opportunity to be with Billie with Adrienne's blessing? I wasn't sure I wanted him now. He ran his tongue along my bottom lip.

"I thought you did." My fingers tangled up in his hair.

"No way Adi. What happened the other day was a mistake. I regret it and I hate myself for it. It was soooo wrong of me. I love you and Billie and I think you should make a go of it. Try and get back what you once had. I'm sure you can do it; you've both just gone by the wayside a little. Spend some time together go away somewhere..." I tried to convince myself that this is what should be happening.

"I don't know," she said looking down.

"Please try. You're a wonderful couple and I still think you're meant to be together. Look," I said. "I may be going away for a while. I need to get away from being around here. Dad's not best pleased with me so I may go and see Charlie for a couple of months."

"But your record," said Adi.

"Oh it will be a while before anyone can buy it. I just need to get away from here. Do you understand?"

"I think so." She stood up and we stood looking at each other. "Give me a hug," she said. "I don't like us to be enemies in anyway. What would your mother think?" she said

"None of this probably would have happened if mum was still here," I say.

"You're probably right, she turned out to be my best friend in the whole world," said Adi, "she would have sorted us all out." She laughed sadly and we hugged then.

Milton came over and I put his lead back on.

"Please try make a go of it with Billie," I said even though I would have liked to make a go of it with Billie but it would have been so wrong. Let me take you to get some more tattoos.

"May be," was all she said. "Listen I shall see you at your party before you go," she said

"Oh yes, I've forgotten all about that with everything that's been going on."

"There's something I've been meaning to mention to you," said Adrienne.

"Oh," I said. "What's that?" What now?

"You and the other Xtras, you're going to need some decent clothes, right?" she said.

"Yeah," I said, not following her. "Especially Ed." I laughed.

"Well...how about you wear some of my clothing range, I'd love for you to wear it and I know you quite like it...think about it," said Adi.

"I've thought about it and we'd love to." I smiled. I loved the Adeline range of clothing and I knew that Hannah did too. Whether the guys did or not I didn't care, I'm sure they'd love the clothes anyway and we needed to look good.

"That's settled then," said Adi. "We'll discuss this more when you get back from your trip," she said. Then she dropped her head slightly and whispered, "Franky...the photograph...do you think I could have it?"

"Of course. I'll get dad to bring it over to you," I said. I couldn't wait to be rid of it.

"Bye Franky," said Adrienne. I noticed she didn't look all that sad. She looks like she had a weight finally lifted from her shoulders.

"Bye Adi," I said turning to look at her, she was still a beautiful woman and I was sure that she and Billie could make a go of it.

**

Adrienne looked at the photograph of her and Sven. Tre had brought round an envelope earlier. It was a pure white envelope and on the front it had written on it 'Adrienne.'

"I am sorry for what has happened. Franky."

When she opened it it was a photograph of her and Sven in a sexual position. It made her feel sick so she shoved it back into its envelope. Franky had known about this for ages. How had she got hold of the photograph? Had she told anyone? She doubted it; Franky was such a trustworthy and reliable person. Not like me any longer she thought. Adrienne knew that Franky would have kept her secret. She heard Billie Joe entering the house and shoved the envelope into her bag and quickly went out to sit in the garden.

**

Adrienne was in the garden when Billie got back.

"Its time we had that talk," she said as he came out from the house.

"Oh right. Want to talk now do we?" said Billie sarcastically; he's green eyes angry.

"Don't be sarcastic," sighed Adi. "Please, this is hard for me."

Billie came and sat next to her at the garden table. He watched her face. He knew she had been worrying about something for months, but was pissed off because she couldn't tell him. He had been there for her all her life and she couldn't tell him. What the fuck was it?

"How did it get to this?" said Billie. "I went away on tour like usual and we were fine. I come back and...everything has changed. You've changed. You hardly came out to visit. You know Adi, I worked it out, in the 18 months that we toured you came out five times. And each time you only stayed for a couple of days. Why Adi?"

"I can't pinpoint what went wrong Billie but yeah, I changed. I've got older and may be I want to have some ME time you know. The American Idiot tour took it out of me, it was so long and I missed you so much. I tried to block you out a little and then."

"Oh forgive me," said Billie "but I thought we were married here."

"We are, but... "

"Adi was there someone else?" asked Billie. "I have a right to know."

"Yes," she said. Billie dropped his head.

"How could you?" he said not looking at her.

"I didn't mean for it to happen, and it wasn't what you think," she said.

"Of course it wouldn't be what I think. Care to explain?" he said, sarcasm back in his voice.

"The kids have grown up and practically have their own lives now. I was going to the gym regularly and got involved with Pam and this guy called Sven."

"Oh the Pam bitch. The Pam who everyone just adores...who's Sven?"

"Sven is her boyfriend but I didn't know that at the time. She said he was a good friend and that he would give me some extra classes if I were interested."

Billie didn't answer. He looks well pissed off Adi thought.

"Anyway he paid me loads of attention basically and I...I enjoyed it. That's when I stopped coming out to see you. I quite liked being at the gym, getting some attention."

"I'd have given you loads of attention if you had come out," said Billie "and you know it."

"That's different."

"Oh. Is it?" said Billie.

"Anyway, he complemented me and I liked it. I started falling for him and he took me out one night."

"You're fucking kidding, right?" said Billie; his wife had been taking out by another guy?

"No. He tried it on that night but I refused, I said I was a married woman. I was flattered though."

"So...did you want to a little bit?" asked Billie.

Adi didn't answer.

"You did didn't you?"

"May be," she whispered.

"You bitch."

"Billie please. Yeah I may well have done but at that moment in time I was thinking about you."

"Oh. Shame I got into your thoughts and got in the way of you sleeping with Sven."

"Anyway I didn't see him again for a while but Pam said to go out as a threesome. We did. They drugged me I slept with him and they took photos and a video. They bribed me and said that if I didn't pay them that you would get to see everything."

"Don't lie."

"It's the truth. Franky gave me a picture if you don't believe me."

"Franky?" said Billie. How long had Franky known about this?

"Yeah, she got hold of it somehow, don't ask me how."

"Why didn't you tell me?" said Billie.

"You were hundreds of miles away."

"What difference does that make, we were married, I've always been there for you...no secrets remember...remember we used to say that when we were younger."

"I needed to see you, tell you to your face," she said ignoring what he had said about secrets.

"You should have flown out, got away from the situation," said Billie.

"I was scared, scared that if I went away and didn't get the money it would be all over the press. I was trying to think of you," said Adrienne.

"Sounds like it."

Adi looked sad and Billie felt slightly sorry for her.

"I'm sorry it's come to this Adi, but you should have told me. I can't forgive you for that, it makes everything we ever had between us a sham."

"Its over isn't it," said Adi tears forming in her eyes but she knew deep down that was what she wanted too and it was time to move on.

"Yeah. It's over," said Billie. " I still care for you Adi but I need someone I can trust. You should have told me, I'd have sorted out those two and it would have been fine and the fact that a little bit of you wanted to sleep with someone else...hurts."

"You can tell me the truth now Billie. Have you never ever wanted to sleep with someone else or kiss someone else the whole of the time we were together?" she asked. She could face this now. Whatever he had to tell her, the REAL truth about what he got up to on tour she could handle.

"The truth?" said Billie looking directly into her eyes, her deep brown eyes that he used to adore.

"Yes please," said Adi. " I can handle it."

"Well baby...there's nothing to handle because I've never wanted anyone but you, never kissed anyone else but you...up until now that is," said Billie.

"Franky," said Adrienne, dropping her head.

"Yeah," he said. "There's never been anyone else. You were always my one," he said.

Adrienne was ashamed of herself for ever doubting Billie but she had gone and ruined everything. It was the end.

"You like her don't you?" she said.

"Actually Adi, I love her," he said and he did. Cherry Lips.

"Oh Billie." Adi had tears in her eyes. "You and her are so right. You're similar in so many ways; I think I've always known it. She's grown up into such a beautiful young woman."

"Yeah but it's a shame she doesn't feel the same way," said Billie. He went to Adi then and she stood up. He took her in his arms and they hugged their familiar hug but it had changed. He kissed the top of her head and walked back into the house.

Ten minutes later she joined him in the house and silently gave him the envelope. He read it. She watched his face as he opened it; he looked at the picture put it back into the envelope and threw it into the bin. His face showed no expression, may be it did. Disappointment may be. Disgust. Adrienne couldn't be sure. All she was sure of was that she had let Billie down.

"Where are you going Billie?" asked Adi.

"I need to see Franky," he said.

Adi knew then that they were definitely over and she was kind of glad.