Sorrow Swallows My Screams

Chapter Nine

Chapter Nine:

Zacky’s POV:

I was shocked, to say the least. Brian pulled away, but kept his face close to mine, a few centimetres away. He placed his hand on my cheek, and let his fingertips softly fall down the side of my face.

“You’re beautiful,” he whispered.

“Now’s not the best time to say that,” I said, referring to my bruised and bloody face.

“I’m sure that’s not the only part of you that’s beautiful,” he said with a wink. Oh God, he doesn’t know how much that turned me on. I felt myself harden a little as he stood up and left the room, taking the cloth, tissues, and first aid kit with him. I waited anxiously for his return, still in disbelief that he had just kissed me. Sure, it was quick and light, but it was still amazing.

I’ll admit I’m a little happy. Rare, but hey, it’s not a crime. When Brian did return I felt myself harden a little more. I quickly snatched a pillow off his bed and strategically placed it on my lap. Brian sat next to me and went to grab my hand off my lap. I’m pretty sure that when he did so he felt my little hard on. Eep.

“I’m guessing by that smile on your face,” he began, “and the stiffness of your lower region, that you like me too.” Fuck, yeah, he’d noticed. I felt myself blush. “Don’t be embarrassed.” He stroked the back of my hand with his finger, resting it on his lap as he did so. I smiled, causing him to as well. He was braver than I, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. I felt my hand move at it’s own free will up his thigh, and in a bit, until it was mere inches from his crotch. I saw that it was a little excited, too, judging by the stretched denim of his jeans. His smile widened, looking at my hand.

I turned to face him more, and he did the same. His other arm closed around me, pulling me into a hug. I let my arms fall around him and let my head fall onto his shoulder. I noticed, as I did so, that a piece of his sexy, shiny, sexy, hair had fallen onto his face. I moved one of my hands from around his waist and back and sat it on his other shoulder. I carefully felt my way up his neck and face and tucked the strand of hair behind his ear. He turned his head to the side a little and placed his lips on my earlobe. His lips were even softer than his hands and already I loved the feeling of them.

“You are beautiful,” he whispered again, which sent a chill up my spine. A good chill, that is.

“You’ve already said that.”

“But… it’s… true…” he said between kisses on my earlobe. This was definitely the best feeling my earlobes had experienced… recently, at least. Mikey always used to lightly nibble at my ear when he wanted to have sex, and nearly every time he did so, he got his wish. Sex with Mikey was the best ever… not that I had anything to compare it to. Still…


“Mikey…” I said quietly. We were alone in his bedroom and he’d just nibbled on my earlobe. And I was going to give him what he wanted, as it was what I wanted too. So bad…

His lips collided with mine in an aggressive but passionate way that would have made my mouth water, except that I didn’t want to drool all in Mikey’s mouth. Our tongues battled wildly in each other’s mouths. God, I love this guy. We rolled around on his bed a little, until…

“Fuck!” I fell off the bed. Mikey burst out laughing. “Hey…”

“Sorry babe, but it was funny.”

I climbed back onto the bed and we resumed where we left off: a heat filled kiss. God, I love this boy. His hands messed up my hair and mine messed up his. He reached for the bottom of my shirt and pulled it off. It hit the door, but that didn’t stop me from ripping his shirt and pants off. He undid my belt and threw that at the door, too. The buckle hit the door with a rather loud noise, but at the time I didn’t care. Before I knew it, we were both completely naked and making out, constantly swapping who was in the position on top. It was then that the door opened.

“Oh my God… fuck,” Gerard said as he walked into the room. Mikey and I separated, quickly grabbing at the blankets to cover ourselves up. “Mikey, what the hell?”

“Gee… what are you doing in here?” Mikey asked.

“I heard a noise, something metal hitting something, and I came to see if you’d done something stupid again.” I could almost imagine Gerard smiling as he said the last part, if the circumstances were different. Oh, and the something hitting the something was my belt buckle banging against the door. “Mikey… you’re too young for this…”

“No, I’m not, Gee. I heard you with girls, in your room, when you were younger than I am now.”

*End Flashback*

And you get the picture. And okay, that may not have been my best sexual experience when you consider the fact that I fell off the bed, Gerard walked in, and Mikey and I didn’t actually get to the part of the fucking. But hey, you get the picture. We were in love.

I didn’t realise at the time that that was the time when Gerard began to dislike me. Of course, the ‘dislike’ was moved up to ‘pure and raw hatred’ after Mikey’s death.

I also didn’t realise at the time that a few months later, Mikey would commit suicide.

Anyway, I heard a faint voice; it sounded far away.


“Brian?” I recognized the voice now.

“Yeah. Zacky, you were totally off in another world right then.” The voice was louder now, and I could hear it clearly.

“Was I?”

Was I?

“I’m sorry.” I felt a few tears run down my face. The truth was… I wasn’t really sorry.