Some People Have It and Other People Don't

That night I couldn’t get to sleep, I kept thinking about William. I kept seeing that lovable smile and his gorgeous eyes.

I imagined him holding me tight, telling me he’d never let go.

I sure wasn’t getting to sleep anytime soon, so I looked up at the ceiling.

His band mates sure seemed nice. Adam…er Sisky was hilarious and Chizzy was rad and Andy was pretty funny too. Carden was kinda mysterious and quiet but I thought he was pretty cool too.

I’d say next to Beckett that Carden was next hottest. Hey I liked my mysterious guys. I liked long hair too.

On that note why the heck had William cut off all that gorgeous hair?! It was part of what made him so attractive when I first saw him in that club.

But I let that go, I didn’t care if he shaved his head, at least he was there for me and promised to take care of me.

I never thought he would have said that to me, maybe I was a little taken aback because of it.

I mean he was a star, he could date a star like a beautiful supermodel or something and forget about me other than sending child support. But he’d chosen to stay with me. That sure made me feel happy.

I wrapped my arms around one of my pillows, snuggling against it.

I wanted to feel Beckett’s arms around me again.

-------

I did find sleep that night, but only a few hours worth.

I woke up having an odd craving for pepperoni and went out into the kitchen to see if we had any, which I highly doubted.

While I was roaming through the fridge to find things to suit my cravings my mom walked in.

“You did good for yourself Emily,” she said.

“Hmm?” I looked over to where she was leaning against the counter, waiting for her tear to be done on the stove.

“That boy.”

“William?”

“Yeah,” she smiled. “Beckett? Is he British.”

He didn’t have an accent but whose to say his family wasn’t from there. “I don’t think so…”

“Well I have to say that I’m relived the baby isn’t Damien’s,” she sighed.

“Me too,” I muttered to myself, turning back to the fridge and finding some pizza from the night before. Score!

“You’re one lucky girl Emily. I had my share of one night stands too, don’t think that stuff didn’t happen in my time too, and I have to say that you actually found the one guy that was willing to take responsibility of his actions,” she said, pouring herself and me some tea.

I took a huge bite out of the cold pizza, one hand on my tummy.

Being pregnant wasn’t too bad now I guess.

-----

I called Claire after lunch, telling her everything that happened the night before.

“Can you get me with Chizzy?!?!” she cried after I told her everything.

“Um…Claire that’s highly unlikely unless you both get drunk and you don’t know he’s famous and you get knocked up and then run around the state trying to find him. Because I can also picture Michael being as sweet as Beckett. And you already have a great boyfriend!” I cried.

“Poo.”

“I got a backstage pass for tonight’s show.”

She gasped. “Lucky bitch! Only one?!”

“Yes, Claire, only one. I don’t think they would appreciate you backstage anyway. You’d try to like rape half of them,” I giggled and then felt this sudden jolt in my stomach. “Woah.”

“What?”

“The baby…it just…” I felt the jolt again.

“Did you feel it kick?” Claire asked.

“Yeah…” I placed a hand to my stomach where I’d felt the jolt and I don’t know why, my eyes just started welling up. That was probably the first time I ever thought of this baby as something good…

“You okay?”

“Yeah…it just feels so…I dunno, beautiful,” two tears streamed down my face.

“Eh, too bad I don’t want kids.”

There were times when I really wanted to slap her. But whatever, Claire wasn’t in my situation so she’d never be able to fully understand the feelings I was feeling.

------

TAI concerts were getting quite annoying. No offense to them, they were great artists, but I swear I had been to about seven of their concerts in a short amount of time and after awhile it all gets annoying and repetitive.

I came early and Andy-I’m supposed to call him ‘The Butcher’-and Sisky saw me and let me backstage early so I wouldn’t get trampled in the mosh or anything.

Beckett was too busy getting ready before the show so I didn’t get to talk to him.

I hung out with the other guys, sticking to what I determined early-they were all hilarious and pretty cool.

They went out to perform and since no one was really around except a few guards who knew me and their Asian tour manager, Tony, who I thought was pretty rad too, I snuck onto their bus.

I looked for a laptop and found one quite easily. Guys liked leaving whatever they wanted out in the open, on the floor, you know the bus was pretty disgusting and dirty. But guys could live differently than girls.

I grabbed it and sat on a couch that was not covered in filth and random shit and went on Youtube.

Claire had been talking about this thing-TAI TV-for weeks after I’d slept with Beckett and all this stuff had happened. Supposedly it was this random funny junk that happened to the band.

I watched one about Guy Ripley, who is actually some guy named Ryland from Cobra Starship [who I actually knew and liked and bit], and he had an uber crush on Beckett.

I thought it was pretty hilarious and overly dramatic, just the way I liked it, and ended up watching random ones all night until the set was over.

I put the laptop back where it had been and ran out of the tour bus and snuck backstage, sitting there like nothing had happened.

Beckett came back first and saw me and his eyes lit up.

He ran to me and threw his arms around me.

“Ew!” I cried, pushing him away. “You’re all sweaty.”

“No really? Did you expect me to smell shower fresh after a show?” he sighed, wiping the sweat from his face with a towel.

“Is there a shower in the bus?” I asked, hinting that he should take one, because I really really wanted him to hold me but be less sweaty.

He laughed. “Yeah, I was actually gonna go shower quick. Why, did you want to join?” he smirked, wrapping an arm around my waist, his brown eyes looking at me intently.

I giggled. “No, that’s okay.”

“Okay,” he pouted. “At least I tried. Um…you can wait in the bus for me if you want instead of being all awkward around the guys.”

The guys were pretty far off from where we were backstage, all talking and laughing with the opening band-Phantom Planet. That band was actually pretty good too.

“It’s kinda dirty but you can go on my laptop or shoot some tequila, you’re choice,” he smirked, grabbing my hand as we started to walk towards the buses.

“I’ll just go on the laptop,” I smiled, resting my head against his shoulder.

As we walked by the rest of TAI and Phantom Planet a whole chorus of ‘awwww’ went up, making me smile more.

I picked my head up from his shoulder and Beckett turned to me, giving me a little kiss as we went to the bus.

------

Not only did TAI like to make a complete mess of their bus, they also really liked to drink.

They followed us onto the bus, too impatient to wait for Beckett to be done showering, and by the time he was done I swear the Butcher had chugged like two cans of beer.

“Believe me, this isn’t even bad,” Carden said, sipping idly at his beer like a good little boy. “You should see the guys from Cobra Starship.”

“Ah yeah Gabe and Suarez were so drunk one time back on Honda Civic Tour that they almost did the nasty right there in the middle of the bus!” Sisky blurted out loudly, laughing like an idiot.

I started to laugh and buried my face in my hands. I didn’t even know who Gabe and Suarez were but this was still hilarious.

Thankfully Beckett came out of the shower soon after, I couldn’t take much more of the Butcher’s insane outbursts. He sure did curse a lot but hell I was from Brooklyn. I could have totally cursed him out if I wanted to.

He came out fully clothed and clean from the bathroom, his hair still slightly wet from the shower but at least not sweaty and disgusting.

“Oh God,” he muttered, putting a hand to his forehead. “Emily, why did you let them have beer?!”

“Um…I didn’t know they weren’t allowed. I mean they are grown men.”

He let out a funny laugh. “Men, yeah right.”

“What’re you talking about Beckett?!” Butcher yelled, talking quite loud and his speech slurred. “You’re just a scrawny little boy!”

“Correction-man!”

“Yeah, prove it!” the Butcher threw another empty beer can aside.

Beckett pointed to my stomach and smiled. “I think this qualifies.”

Everyone started to laugh.

“All right, if you’re such a man, then I dare you to do the nasty with Emily right now.”

“She’s pregnant!”

“So, that doesn’t mean she can’t fuck.”

Beckett shook his head, smiling. “Well I guess you asked for it.

Oh God, what?!

He put his arms around me and pulled me into a kiss that was so powerful and forceful I didn’t know what hit me. I put my hands at his neck and deepened the kiss, sliding one hand slowly into his thick hair.

“We out,” the Butcher said, everyone following him out of the bus.

Once everyone was on William got off of me and giggled. “Well we’re alone now.”

“Yeah.”

“We don’t have to stop kissing,” he said, his lips still close to mine.

“That’s what I was thinking exactly,” I whispered, looking right into his eyes.

He pressed his lips to mine, his fingers gently traveling up my neck. It was passionate kissing, nothing forced and not nasty tongue fucking kisses that I was so used to with Damien.

Beckett reached for something, I didn’t bother to look and see what it was, and suddenly the lights dimmed and some corny ‘get in the mood’ music started playing.

I giggled in the kiss and I felt him smile too.

“The Butcher had that installed in here for months but there was no real reason to use it…until now,” he laughed.

“It’s kinda corny,” I giggled.

“I know. That’s why I like it,” he smiled.

“I like it too,” I played with the bottom of his shirt and leaned in to kiss him again.

“When did you tell your mom you’d be home?” he asked.

“Eh…whenever.”

He smirked. “We can make that work.”