S'Agapo

As we sat there, staring at the food I realized that somehow I had managed to order too much food. I really had no clue how, but I had.

"So, um, what are we going to do with all of it?" Apollo asked.

I blinked. "Leftovers. For tomorrow night."

"Ugh I hate leftovers."

I furrowed my eyebrows. "Then what would you prefer?"

"Let's invite-"

"No." I flicked through the channels.

"But-"

"No."

"Oh-"

"No, no, no."

"I already invited them."

I turned to look at him. "What?"

"As I was coming home I realized that this was way too much food, so I asked Cathy over, with her friends. I stopped dating Cindy by the way- she wasn't as nice as I thought she'd be."

"You just broke the cardinal rule: No friends in the house. If you are so intent on hanging out with them, go to their house! I will not have them ruining my house with their filthy, grimy, human-y presence. And you did good to dump Cindy. But Cathy was a step backwards."

Apollo stared at me then replied, "Too late."

The doorbell rang, along with some retarded squeals. I rolled my eyes and grabbed my food. "I'll be upstairs, cutting myself."

Apollo grinned. "Emo. Oh come on, It's not all that bad, I promise you."

"Where did you learn emo?"

"I learn fast when I'm surrounded by beautiful women."

"They're barely 18."

"Fine then, beautiful young ladies."

The doorbell rang again.

I screamed, "You're not welcome!" But Apollo was already opening the door.

I glared as a few girls came in, followed by a few boys. Kevin was one of them.

Every one said their hellos and then saw me in my pajamas, glaring. It was like some odd war: Apollo and his friends on one side, me and my Chinese food on the other.

Finally, after a minute, I went up to Apollo and kneed him in the balls. Everyone immediately crowded around him to see if he was okay. Kevin continued to stare at me. I glared back at him, than looked at the red-faced Apollo and spat out, "You suck. You deserve capital punishment, you asshole...after they leave." I smiled evilly and went upstairs to my room.

I flicked on the television and blared the noise to cover up all the laughter downstairs. I was feeling rather hollow inside, despite the Chinese food. Part of me wanted to be down there laughing with friends like I used to be, and the other half wanted to spear Apollo on the
school flag pole. I sighed and got up to go to the bathroom.

On the way back, I was so distracted that I accidentally opened the wrong door. The room was like I had left it. You could barely see the blood stains on the floor now, but it still smelled like death. I slammed the door shut and slapped my hand over my mouth to stop the little whimper. Too bad it went dead silent downstairs when I slammed the door, so my whimper-sob echoed throughout the house.

"Laurel?"

Three male voices called. I swallowed and took a deep breath.

"What? You want me to make you dinner after all that shit?" I called back, making my voice steady.

"It was probably a mouse." I heard one of the girls say.

"Yeah."

Anyways-"

I sighed with relief and crumpled to the floor, suddenly overcome with exhaustion. Rubbing my eyes, I tried to repress the memory of that day again. After a few minutes, I was back to 'myself'. Pressing my hand to my heart I stood up and shook back my hair.

"That was scary." I whispered, leaning my forehead against the white door. "Okay, calm down, let's get to bed, you'll be okay!" I took another breath and turned to go to my room. I stopped, and was a little surprised, mostly irritated that I hadn't heard. With a glare, I asked, "What are you doing up here?"

Jake scratched the back of his head. "Um, just looking for the bathroom."

"There's one downstairs. Go use it."

"R-right."

As he turned to go back downstairs, I added, "Oh, and never come here again, Or tell anyone what you saw. If you do, I will rip out your heart."

"Oh, come on Laurel, you were never that cruel." I turned to see Kevin standing right behind Jake. He grinned.

"What do you want?" I snipped. He leaned against the railing, and said, "I was just wondering if you were okay."

"What are you talking about? There was mouse, it's gone now, and too bad you missed it. I was hoping it would bite you and give you rabies."

"I've missed you."

"Okay." I stared at him, bored. My heart was pounding in my ears, and i wondered if he could hear it.

"I'm sorry-"

"Kevin, where are you?" Cathy screeched.

I opened my door. "You'd better go, lover boy." I slammed the door shut and locked it.

Kevin tried to open the door. I heard him sigh on the other side. "Look- Laurel, we really need to talk."

"No, you need to go. I hear Cathy calling you. I don't want her getting her slutiness all over the house so do me a favor and go talk to her before she-" I was cut off by a loud fit of laughter, "-before I rip out her tongue."

I was seething and on the verge of screaming. After a few minutes, I heard someone come up the stairs.

"Kevin, what are you doing up here?"

I'm just trying to- nothing."

"You'd better come down, Cathy's about to rip the house apart looking for you, and Laurel hates people touching her stuff."

"Yeah, I know."

I sighed and buried my head in my knees. Apollo knocked on my door. "Laurel, don't say anything, let me just talk. I'm sorry. I didn't know she was going to bring him over. I honestly just thought I would be an all-girl troupe. I'm sorry. I'll try and get them out soon."

I didn't answer. After a few minutes, Apollo said, "Good night" and went downstairs.

I stood up and went to my bed. Why did Kevin keep showing up everywhere? Every time I saw him, my heart would go crazy, and I felt like I was going to cry. I still loved Kevin, even though he hurt me like that, even though he stranded me. I shook, as if cold. I was freezing, even though I was wrapped up in so many blankets. I shuddered once, and everything came out of me. I cried, I made the little noises, I sniffled, I sobbed, I hiccuped, and I shook.

As I was crying, Apollo sent everyone home with some of the food. He then came to knock on my door. I tried to muffle my sobs and only succeeded in choking myself.

"Laurel? Laurel, open the door!"

"Leave me...alone." I hiccuped.

"No, Laurel, open this door right now!"

"Or what?" I asked in a strangled voice.

There was silence. Then I heard the key hole jiggle and immediately I ran into my bathroom. I slammed the door shut and locked it. I heard Apollo come in, and look around.

"You're so stubborn!"

He started trying to open the bathroom door.

"Laurel, come out! Please!"

"Why?"

Suddenly I was afraid. What if he told everyone what I was really like? I couldn't let him see me like this, I couldn't be marked as a blubbering idiot. I composed myself as best as I could, already knowing it was too late.

The door opened after a few jiggles, and Apollo stared at me. I was washing my face with ice cold water. I straightened up and rubbed my face on the towel nearby. Then I turned to him.

"See? I told you I was fine."

He stared at me for a few minutes, then said, "I could hear you from the stairs."

"I don't know what you're-"

"Please don't do that again!" He grabbed my wrist.

"Hey! What're you-"

He buried his face in my fleece sweater. "It's only September. It's barely been a year since your parents left, since he left. Why did you change so much? Why are you hiding who you are? It's okay to cry, even if it's for a month. You deserve that much. Stop hiding in hate, or that's all you'll become."

He squeezed me, and I reached my hands up to his arms to try and pry him off, keep myself composed in front of him. I was dangerously close to breaking down again, I hadn't had much time to suppress everything.

"Let go of me Apollo." My teeth were clenched, my voice as steady as I could make it.

"No." He pressed me closer.

"Come on," I tried to coax him, "I'm fine now see? I have everything under control. Come on, let go of me."

"I said no." He loosened his grip around my neck and pressed his forehead against mine. He kept staring into my eyes, and I squirmed under his gaze. After a moment, he let go and turned to leave. I stared after him for a few minutes, completely confused. I wondered briefly if I should ask what all that was, but everyone has their secrets, everyone acts strange once in a while. I sighed and went back to bed. Hey, at least I wasn't crying anymore. He helped calm me down, so I was grateful.

Apollo's POV

I went to my room and sat down on the bed, head in hands.

"I can't believe I just did that," I whispered to myself, "I completely invaded her privacy, saw all of her memories. But I had to, it's not like she's ever going to tell me any of that. And who would, there's so much pain."

I sat there, playing and replaying her memories until I drifted off to sleep.

In the morning, Laurel completely muted the memory of last night. I made sure to be careful with her, now knowing the true fragility of her state of mind, of how alone and lost she felt, how hopeless she felt about love, something I was god of.

That was what scared me the most.

That someone could give up on love, believe that maybe it really was a fairy tale, and at such a young age. Were all humans like that at some point?