Close to the Heart

“You’re not going to push me into the lake are you?” Shane asked. It had been four or five minutes so I forcefully pressed my lips to his and we were still embracing one another. I laughed lightly at his comment.

“Why would I do that?” I asked. “That’s so trashy.” Shane laughed and I felt him tighten his hold on my waist. It was a little uncomfortable at first since he’s almost a foot taller than me, but we worked around it making us both comfortable.

“Maybe you did that to get me back,” he said. “I pushed you in before and now you want to make me think you like me back and before I know it I’m in the water.”

“Who said I like you back?” I asked.

“Uhh…” I laughed as Shane loosened his grip on me. “You don’t like me? So that wasn’t your tongue that was just in my mouth.” I finally pulled away from him and looked up. I faked gasped and crossed my arms.

“My tongue was not in your mouth,” I said, “You were trying to stick yours in my mouth and I didn’t want that.”

“Why’s that?” he asked.

“Who knows what you’ve been putting in that mouth of yours,” I said. Instead of acting like the drama queen he is, Shane laughed.

“Actually my mouth is really clean today. I ate breakfast then brushed my teeth. I was going to try to make out with Mitchie but I decided you have more experience.”

“Ugh you’re a pig sometimes,” I said sitting down. Shane laughed out loud and sat down, rocking the canoe slightly.

“I’m kidding,” he said still with that adorable smile on his face. “She’s not worth time in jail.” I laughed out loud.

“So are we heading back to camp anytime soon?” I asked.

“Come on. Aren’t you enjoying yourself at all?” he asked. He reached forward and took my hand in his. I was kind of taken aback by his sudden forwardness and flinched when I felt his hand on mine. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, totally,” I said. I removed my hand as he stared at me as if I were from another planet. “I just really want to go back.”

“Was it something I did or said?”

“No Shane,” I said getting frustrated all over with him again. “I just don’t like being out in water for so long.”

“So it’s nothing I did?” he asked. I tried my hardest to refrain myself from rolling my eyes.

“No.” He smiled and grabbed the single paddle we had left.

“Cool. So you want to hang out or something? I mean we still have a few hours of daylight left,” Shane said.

“Sure,” I said. “Now row superstar, I do not want to be over water right about now.”

“What’s with you and water?” Shane asked starting to slowly row the boat towards the dock. “Damn I wish I had two paddles about now.”

“You’re really stupid for throwing it out,” I said. “Maybe you should jump in the water and fetch it.”

“I’d rather swim back towards the dock than swim underwater to find a paddle that will never be found,” Shane said. “It’s like looking for a dead body in the ocean when you know you’ll never-” Shane stopped talking and looked up at me. “Oh I’m so sorry. The whole water thing. I’m sorry.” Shane stopped talking and slowly rowed the canoe. Silence and Shane never mixed and right now all I wanted was for him to shut up. He was either going to make it worse by saying something I don’t want to hear or he may be sweet and try to cheer me up. Or possibly what he thinks would cheer me up most likely won’t.

“I’m sorry Bella,” Shane said. “I completely forgot about your mom. I feel like such a moron. No wonder you never wanted to go on a canoe with me. Do you want to talk about it?” There it was. The thing I didn’t want to hear, ‘talk about it.’

“Not really. Just forget it,” I said. “It’s been ten years. If I don’t move on now, I’ll never move on.”

“But I really am sorry. I’m such an idiot,” he said. I knew he felt bad for it, but I didn’t want to hear how sorry he was over and over again.

“Um, so are you planning on getting us back anytime soon?” I asked. “Cuz you know I need to bleach my hair and I have a date.”

“You have a date?” Shane asked. “With who?”

“His name is bed,” I said. “And he’s the only man I need in my life.” Shane chuckled as he attempted to move us only two feet closer towards the dock. “Oh and Mr. Food is pretty good too.”

“Yeah? I’m pretty sure you like them together don’t you?”

“Yes! I love eating in bed,” I said getting excited.

“Yeah, I remember the last time you were in our room you had about thirty pounds of junk food on your bed,” Shane said. “And you didn’t share.”

“I don’t share with anybody, ask daddy.” I laughed at myself. “Don’t tell anyone I just called my dad ‘daddy’. I don’t even know why I just did that. But I did give you a cookie once.”

“Yeah, once,” Shane said, “And you had about thirty cookies on the bed.”

“You know what I could eat right about now?” I said. “A big cake.”

“What do you do to keep it off? I mean have you seen Jason lately? He’s packing on a few pounds.”

“He is not!” I said. “Jason still looks hot as always.” Shane gave me a look as if he didn’t buy anything I said. “And I don’t do anything. I’m still as lazy as the last day you saw me.”

“Where does all the food go?” Shane asked.

“Out my nose,” I said. “Where do you think it goes? I eat it and it goes in my tummy.” Shane chuckled as we slowly starting to move towards our destination.

“You still say tummy? Can’t you say stomach?”

“Nope. I’m allowed to say tummy whenever I want,” I said. “Now hurry up and paddle faster.” Shane continued rowing at an extremely slow pace. “Tell you what. If you get us over there in two minutes, I’ll make all your dreams come true.”

“Wait, what? My dreams? Come true?” Shane said. He raised his eyebrows and smirked.

“Totally. I can make you dinner tonight, all you favorites,” I said.

“That’s it? I thought, eh never mind,” Shane said. “Food sounds good now, but I thought you aren’t much of a cook.”

“I’m not,” I said. “Ever heard of a microwave? You just pop food in there and it tastes pretty good.” Shane let out a laugh that was mixed with sarcasm and actual happiness.

“Okay, so you make me think you were actually going to make my dreams come true,” Shane said, “And then you said you’d make me dinner. But now I find out you’re just going to pop something in the microwave and call it a night?” I laughed lightly and nodded my head. “You really are something.”

“Thank you,” I said placing my hand on his knee, “You really know how to make a girl feel better.”

“And you really know how to mess with people’s thoughts,” Shane said. “Look we’re finally back.”

“Finally!” I reached out towards the dock and grabbed onto it. I stood up and stepped onto it, leaving Shane on the canoe. “God, does it really take forty minutes for you to paddle a simple canoe in one direction? I want to tell everyone how much of an idiot you are, but I don’t want anyone knowing I spent the day with you.”

“Oh come on. You enjoyed yourself,” he said sticking his hand out at me. I looked at it and shook my head.

“Find a way up here yourself,” I said.

“Come on Bella,” Shane said standing up on the canoe and looking up at me. “Please?”

“No. Use your homosapien skills and get up here monkey boy. The dock is only three feet off the water, if I can get up here you surely can.” I wasn’t lying; the dock really was only three feet off the water. It’s not like he was a baby and couldn’t get up here. He has long legs, he can just step up and bam he’s up.

“What if my pants rip?” he asked. I laughed.

“Then they rip and you buy new ones,” I said.

“I like these jeans,” he said, “They’re my lucky jeans.”

“They’re not even a nice color,” I said slowly started to walk off the dock. I heard a noise escape from Shane’s mouth and I heard a loud thump on the dock.

“So are you still going to make me dinner tonight?” he asked catching up.

“Do I have to?” I asked. “I was thinking of stealing my dad’s car and going up to that old Pizza place nearby.”

“Isn’t that the camp’s only vehicle?” Shane asked. “Won’t he be upset?” I rolled my eyes. Shane was no fun.

“So?” I said walking a little faster. “If you want to come, come. If not, your loss.” I heard Shane catching up behind me.

“I’d like to go,” he said, “But I’m really not supposed to leave this camp.”

“You’re such a wuss, Nate’s never going to find out,” I said. “And it’s not like you’re not coming back.” If Shane didn’t want to get pizza with me, I’ll just go alone. Or maybe take Barron with me. He’s been pretty cool lately, despite his annoying antics to try to get me to admit I like Shane.

“I don’t care about Nate,” Shane said breaking me from my thoughts. “What if-”

“Shane, enough with the what ifs,” I said as I came into his cabin. I went to my dad’s side of the room and found the keys to the camp’s only jeep. I grabbed those and of course some cash. I stuck the cash into my jeans pockets and walked to where Shane was standing. “Are you coming?” He didn’t even get to reply before I found myself walking past him and towards the front of the camp. It took me a good five minutes to find the jeep. I think my dad tried hiding it from me because knowing me I’d probably steal it and go off on a cruise outside of camp.

Finally after struggling for five minutes, I found the jeep, hidden away under a dirty, dusty blanket. I removed it and hopped in. I looked down and noticed the car wasn’t an automatic, but a manual. I cursed to myself, trying to remember how to drive it. Okay, this shouldn’t be so hard.

I stuck the key in the ignition and pressed down on the clutch. At least I remembered how to start it. I smiled to myself and was about to put the car into first when Shane came out of nowhere.

“Changed your mind?” I asked. Shane smiled and that was a huge distraction for me because I took my foot off the clutch and the car jerked forward. I killed it, great.

“Do you want me to drive?” Shane asked looking into the jeep. I grumbled to myself and moved to the passenger’s side. “How can you not remember how to drive one of these? Didn’t your dad teach you?” He started the car up with ease and slowly took off.

“How am I supposed to remember when I barely drive around in a stick?” I asked. “All dad has at home is his stupid BMW from the 19th century.” Shane chuckled as he looked around for any sign of dad.

“Where’s this pizza joint?” he asked.

“You know that long road you came in from?” Shane nodded. “Keep going down it, so just make a right when you get towards the entrance.”

“How do you know about this place?” Shane asked.

“Jason and I used to sneak off once in a while,” I said simply.

“Jason and you? Why only you two? Why not Nate and I?”

“He was the only one that could drive at the time,” I said. “Plus this thing only holds two people.”

“Oh,” Shane said looking forward.

“Don’t be so childish,” I said, “I kissed you, not Jason.”

“So you do like me,” he stated rather than asked.

“Who knows,” I said as I turned on the radio. I tried looking for a station, but nothing seemed to work out here. This is just great.

“Is that it?” Shane asked. “Peter Piper’s Pizza?” He chuckled as he pulled into the parking lot.

“Hey don’t laugh. They have really good pizza,” I said as I unbuckled my seatbelt.

“Wait!” Shane said. He hastily took off his seatbelt and practically lunged out of the car. I stared at him as if he was nuts. Did a bee fly up his shirt? Or was he always this stupid? I saw him fling up my door and smile.

“Uh, what the hell was that for?” I asked.

“I wanted to open your door for you,” he said.

“Gee thanks, want to take my seatbelt off for me too?” I said getting out of the car. He smiled at my sarcasm.

“I was, but you already took it off,” he said. “Now come on, it smells good from out here.” He reached for my hand and for once I didn’t mind. I gladly grasped onto his hand as we walked into the pizza shack.

“Pizza!” I shouted, causing the two guys behind the counter to look up at us weirdly. “Sorry. I love pizza.” Shane chuckled as the two of us walked up to the counter.

“Hi, how’s it going?” the guy asked.

“Fantastic, say what’s the best pizza you guys have?” I asked.

“Depends on what you like little miss.”

“Do you still have the meat lover’s thing?” I asked. “You had that three years ago, but I’m not sure if you still do.”

“The one with pepperoni, sausage, ham, mushroom-”

“Yes, yes!” I shouted. “Give me that please.” Shane chuckled again and the guy just smiled. “Sorry I’m a big meat fan.”

“How are you when your dad’s a vegetarian?”

“It’s only because I hung out with you, Jason and Natey for so long,” I said, forgetting the guy in front of us. “Oh, sorry, so can we have that in an extra large?” He smiled and nodded his head.

“Anything else?” he asked.

“Just two drinks,” Shane said pulling out his wallet, but I beat him to it. I handed the guy two twenties while Shane stared at me annoyed. I laughed as I pulled my hand from his and wrapped my arm around his waist.

“My treat,” I said, “I forced you out.”

“But I’m Sha-” I put my hand on Shane’s mouth.

“Okay, we all know that,” I said. If he said he was Shane Gray one more time, I was surely going to yell at him. The guy behind the counter, whose name was Travis handed me back my leftover money and Shane and I both went to sit at a booth.

“So is this a date or something?” he asked. “I mean we just kissed, and shouldn’t the first date come before the first kiss?”

“It’s technically our second kiss,” I said. “But this isn’t a date.”

“Yeah, I was going to say that because you asked me out, not the other way around,” he said taking a sip from his drink.

“Hey you don’t have to be the one to ask me out. I can ask you out if I wanted to,” I said. “Guys aren’t the only ones to plan dates out.”

“Are we going to argue again?” he asked. “Because it’s getting a little old, and I’m tired of arguing with you.”

“Fine, so tell me about your jeans,” I said. “Why are they so lucky?”

“I wore them first when we first got signed, when our first single was number one for a month and now when you finally kissed me. If these aren’t lucky, I don’t know what luck is.”

“That’s not luck,” I said. “Oh, sorry I’m starting to get into my argue mood again.” I tried thinking of something nice to say. “So, you had these jeans for almost three years?”

“Something like that. That’s why they’re a little tight,” he said. “If you haven’t noticed I’ve grown up. Have you seen my thighs?”

“Yeah, and your ass,” I blurted out. “I mean, uh, well come on. Your ass sticks out in those jeans. Those and the white ones you wore twice this summer.” Shane laughed, and I could feel my face getting hot. “Boy is it getting warm in here or what?” I fanned myself, trying to cool my face.

“It is a pizza place,” Shane said, “But it’s not that hot.”

“So are you judging Final Jam this year?” I asked. Shane took another sip from his drink and nodded his head.

“Yeah, and Jason and Nate are helping out.”

“I can’t wait to see them again,” I said.

“Do you secretly like one of them better than me or something?” he asked. “I’m curious, that’s all.”

“No, I think I’m starting to-” Saved by the pizza man. The overfriendly counter boy, Travis delivered the pizza just on time. He was even nice enough to give us extra condiments and two extra drinks. He either likes Connect 3’s music or maybe I was a little too flirtatious towards him. I quickly grabbed a slice of pizza and placed it on my plate.

“Starting to what?” Shane asked. I put the pizza in my mouth and felt the brims of my eyes water up.

“Ah! Hot!” I yelled out, spitting out what was in my mouth and taking a big sip of water. “Oh my gosh, that sucks!” Shane couldn’t help but laugh out loud at my sudden outburst. I took another large sip of water as Shane was near tears laughing at me. “This is not funny. The stupid pizza burned my mouth.”

“Why didn’t you wait?” he asked. “You can’t be that hungry.”

“I am,” I said. I blew at my pizza to try to cool it off. After about two minutes, and Shane half way into his first slice, I finally took a bite into it. “Okay, this is genius. Why can’t we have pizza everyday at camp? I’m going to talk to Mrs. T. about this.” I gobbled up my pizza and started on a second one. I can’t remember the last time I had a real meal, but after this I was definitely going to get out more during meals.

After, three slices of pizza and continuously cutting Shane off after he started to talk; he finally caught me when I had my mouth full of pizza.

“Okay, so tell me one last time,” he said. “What were you trying to say earlier?”

“Earlier when?” I asked. “I told you the whole deal with my mom was okay. I’m fine talking about it now.” He shook his head and reached for my hand that was just lying on the table.

“No,” he said holding my hand in his. He ran his thumb over my knuckles, and I wish I didn’t eat that third slice. I was either going to puke from eating too much or because the butterflies in my stomach wouldn’t stop fluttering. “You started saying something when I asked if you liked Nate or Jason.”

“Oh that,” I said. “Well…” I guess there was no better time to tell him than now. Peter Piper’s Pizza place was a nice family oriented restaurant and under the lights from above Shane actually started to look even cuter, if that was even possible.

“I was going to say, that I’m…”

I couldn’t finish it. I don’t want to admit to Shane what he’s been dying to hear for so long. I couldn’t see myself under that spotlight of being Shane Gray’s girlfriend. The thought made my stomach flip every time and my brain would pulsate. He had a bunch of fans that would probably hate me for dating him. They would trash my every move if they could. But I was getting ahead of myself, maybe he wouldn’t ask me out. Maybe he just wanted to hear me say it for his own pleasurable reasons. How hard is it to say it? “I like you Shane. A lot.” Not very hard. But I continued to keep my mouth shut while he waited patiently for me to tell him what’s on my mind.

“Isn’t this pizza great?” I said. I mentally slapped myself. I was such an idiot. That was the perfect moment and here I go bottling up my feelings once again. Shane looked at me with a look that knew I was hiding something from him.

“Fantastic,” he replied.