When masterbation's lost it's fun

I woke up in Shelley’s arms. We had fought the night before, but somehow fell asleep that way. She was so pretty. I loved her more than I loved Adie, and the biggest problem was I knew it. I hated the fact that it had gotten to the point of that. It was never meant to turn into love. I lay there with her clinging to me for dear life, in her tiny bed. I looked at the clock next to me. 10:30am it read.

“Oh fuck!” I screamed. Shelley woke up with a startled jump. I jumped out of the bed and pulled my pants on.

“What is it honey?” Shelley asked. She seemed very worried.

“It’s ten fucking thirty! In the morning, I gotta go. Adie’s gonna kill me! My ass is toast!” I said as I ran into the bathroom and tried to wash the smeared lipstick off my mouth. Shelley sat up in the bed.

“Then tell her.”

“Shell, we aren’t going through this again. I already told you, now’s not the time.” I said. I kissed her and Lana, and ran out of the house. Oh man was Adie gonna kill me. I had said I was just going for a drive and I’d be back in a few hours, not the next morning.

I pulled into the driveway of my home and ran into the house. No sooner than did the door close, Adie was there in front of me.

“Where the fuck have you been!? Just going out for a drive huh? My ass! You are so much fucking trouble. Oh my god Billie Joe! You had my worried sick over you!” She screamed.

“I’m sorry baby. Please, I just drove too far from home too late at night. I staid at a motel until I could get home. I’m really sorry. Please forgive my darling. I meant to call.”

“I don’t give a flying fuck! You should have come home you shitbag! I was so afraid that something happened to you! Billie, I don’t know how it is that you think you can apologize this kind of shit away! I’m not just some fucking robotic wife that loves you and immediately forgives you for not coming home at night! I’m not your fucking Stepford wife! I’m not!” Adie screamed. I wanted to laugh at that comment, but I valued my nuts, so I staid quiet until she started to cry. I tried to wrap her in my arms, but she pushed me away.

“Babe, come on. I’m sorry.” I said.

“Sorry doesn’t fix everything. How do I know that you weren’t with another woman or something? How do I know? I mean really Billie Joe. You fucked around on me before, how do I know you aren’t doing it again?”

Fuck! Now I had to lie to her again. I loved her, and didn’t want to hurt her, but how could I not. She found out the first time. She found out about Linda. Linda was a one-night stand that I had on tour. Adie found out from a mutual friend. Linda knew Adie’s friend, but they didn’t know each other, so one told the other, and the friend told Adie. Long story, nothing like the current dilemma.

Adie stood there in front of me with tears building up in her eyes. “Well?” She asked. What was I supposed to say to her? How could I lie to her? Why was I such a dickhead? Finally I looked at her and opened my mouth.

“Because I love you. I wouldn’t hurt you that way…not in an entire…life time.” I stammered. Then, to my extreme pleaser, I felt a sharp slap across my face and she stormed away. I went after her and asked for a reason.

“Because I’m not stupid Billie Joe. Tell me, is she pretty? Is she young with ambition? Hmmm? Tell me.”

“There is no other woman Adrienne? Why would I lie to you? Tell me how it is that you are always so sure that I’m cheating on you?”

“Because you did it before! I’m not a fucking moron! I’ve known Billie. I’ve known.”

“What? There is no body else for me. I love you. I promise to you that there is nobody else.” I said. I hated lying to her, but I didn’t want to hurt her.

“Billie, I don’t want to hear it! Get out! And don’t come back until I call you. I need time to think. I’m not really mad; I just think that maybe I’m too suspicious of you. Please, just get out. ” She yelled. She left the room. I was pissed so I ran out of the house and into my car. I sped off to Shelley’s apartment.

I went into the house, and she ran to me. “You’re back so soon.” She said.

“Shelley, I think you are right, we need to tell Adie about us. She suspects, and she through me out. Get Lana, we are going to tell her. She deserves to know.”

“What? But this morning you were…”

“I know that this morning I was not going to. But I can’t think about anything but you, and how much I love you. I’ve decided that she needs to know.” I said. The truth was I was pissed at Adie for always assuming the worst. Why did she always do that? So she might as well be hurt. Shelley went into her room and got Lana. She wrapped her up and grabbed her car seat and we went to my car.

After we got the car seat in the car, we drove off to the house I shared with my wife. As I pulled into the driveway of my house Shelley’s eyes got wide. “This is where you live?” She asked. I’d never expected her to be so surprised. The house was big, I admit that, but she was almost scared from the look on her face.
“Yeah, this is my house. I know it’s really very big. Adie wanted it, not me. I wanted something simple where we could live and be a somewhat normal family.” I said softly. It was true; I hated having such a big spectacle of a house. I mean we lived in Oakland for crying out loud. But Adie wanted a big house, so we bought the one we had.

“God Billie, this is huge. How can you live in this house?” Shelley asked. Lana started screaming in some unknown way. “She’s hungry and I forgot the diaper bag, Shit. Billie now is not the time. Maybe, in a few days or something. Like when we’ve had some time to prepare for this.” Shelley said. I looked at the driveway and Adie’s car was gone.

“She’s not home. Come in, we can get Lana some formula. You know, Jakob is only four months old. No problem.” I felt like shit deep inside, but the urge to tell Adie passed quickly. Now I just had to feed my baby girl, and get them home. Here I was with a four-year-old and a four-month-old that I was going to leave behind for a woman that I hardly even knew when we had our baby.

Shelley had gotten pregnant on our first sexual encounter. Lana was a mistake, but I loved her. That was over a year ago, and I loved Shelley and my daughter.

“I don’t know Billie.”

“Shell, come on in babe, I swear nothing will happen.” I said. She thought for a moment, the baby crying, and then she nodded. We got out of the car and went into the house. I went into the kitchen and prepared a bottle for Lana. Shelley fallowed me closely and sat at the kitchen table. I handed her the bottle of formula. After she fed the baby, she stood up and kissed me. At first I tried to pull away, but then I gave into her kisses. As the passion rose, so did other, unmentionable areas of the male body. I lifted her up, wrapping her legs around my waist and carried her up the stairs to my room. Things got crazy, and we moved faster and faster, until… well you can figure it out from there.

Well, we were extremely caught up in the moment, and I didn’t hear the front door open, or shut. I didn’t hear the footsteps coming up the stairs or down the hall. I didn’t notice the bedroom door open. And I didn’t notice…

Adie standing in the doorway.