When masterbation's lost it's fun

I'm not sure what to do anymore. Here I am, with all my life in peices. Two wifes left me, and four kids are growing up on every other weekend visitation with me. But there is this girl. My girl.

Her name, is Nikki. Short for Nichole. Her black hair is long. She is beautiful. Tall, and she has a body to kill for.

I actually dug up the courage inside myself to ask her to dinner a months ago...and must to my suprise, she agreed. We have been seeing each other ever since. Her daughter is almost four years old. But I've fallen in love with her, and I'm not sure I'm ready for another relationship. I am terrified that this one will end up like the first two.

This week I have Lana and Billie jr. with me. I'm going to intoduce them to Nikki for the first time. Last week I introduced her to Joey and Jakob. They both found her to be great.

"Ok guys, I want to introduce you to somebody when we get to my house ok?" I said to my two children sitting in the back of my car. I had to pick them up from Shelley's new place this week because she didn't have gas or time to drop them off.

"Daddy, is it a girl?" Lana asked.

"Uh..yea babe, its a girl."

"Is she your...girlfriend?"

"Yea. She is."

"Do you love her?"

"Yup, I do, very much, and I hope you will like her too." I said pulling into my drive way. Just as the car stopped moving, Billie jr's door flew open and he jumped out of the car. He has just been able to stop riding in his car seat.Lana got out after him. I opened the trunk so that they could get their bags. Summer had just started and they were staying with me for the entire summer. Joey and Jakob are also, but they aren't coming for another week because they are visiting with Adie's realitives im Minnesota.

"Daddy, Lana is in the way! I can't get my stuff!" Billie jr. cried. I lifted him up.

"Well she'll move in a mintue big guy." I said, balencing him on my hip.He has balck hair like his mother. My hair is only black when I color it that way.

Just as I said, Lana moved out of the way with her bags. I went to the trunk and pulled out Billie's bags with my free hand. He had a significantly less amount of things than his big sister.

"Okay Daddy, introduce us to this girl." Lana said happily. I set Billie Jr. down on his feet and told him to stay still, and asked Lana to make sure he did that.

I ran into the living room where Nikki was waiting for me. She stood up, and put her arms around me. "Hey babe, back already/" She asked, kissing me softly.

"Yea, I want you to meet some people." I said grabbing her hand and pulling her towards the other room. "Nikki, these are my children from my second marriage. The girl Is Lana, and the boy is Billie Joe jr." I said proudly. Nikki shook hands with Lana and patted Billie's head.

"It's so nice to meet you both. Your father has told me so much about you." She said.

"Really? I'm not sure he's mentioned you...have you dad?" Lana asked.

"Uhm, I have, you just didn't know she was my girlfriend." I said, "this is Nikki."

"This is Nikki! The model girl you're always talking about!" Lana exclaimed.

Nikki laughed, "Yup, that's me. The model girl. My name is Nikki Canchez."

"Lana Armstrong. But if you ask my mom it's Lana Bijenta. But whatever. My little brother is ubber annoying, and I often wonder why mom and dad had him." Nikki laughed again.

"I know how you feel. I have a little brother too. His name is Nicholas."

"Why?"

"Well, because, I was a twin, but my brother died before he was born. My mom was going to name him Nicholas, and me Nichole. But it didn't work out right, so they named my little brother after that Nicholas, because they already had the name. My name is Nichole, just as planned."

"Wow. That is...radical!"

"Uhm, yea."

"So did your mom and dad break up too?"

"No, but my dad died when I was about ten." Nikki said. Those words caught my attention.

"What did he die from?" I asked.

"Huh? My dad? He died from a lung infection. He didn't have cancer. Well, he did, but that isn't what killed him."

"Oh. Well, that's weird...what kind of cancer?"

"Testicular."

"OOh, ouch." I said, thinking about having to have ones nuts removed because of cancer.

"Yea, but he was a "cancer surviver" by the time he died from the lung infection. My mom was devistated, and well, we were basically dirt poor. My mom couldn't work because she was disabled and because she had me and Nick to take care of. After about five years on well fare, my mom kinda kicked me out so I could get a job and support them. I was fifteen at the time, and I'm 22 now. So that was, 7 years ago. And I'm a model now, and we aren't poor anymore. My brother is almost 19, and he's doing well."

"So, what about Crystal? Did you marry her father?"

"Nope. Crystal was born with me there alone. Me and a friend of mine. Crystal was actually born at home in my bed. We couldn't get to a hospital because the girl with me couldn't drive, and after I got pregnant her father couldn't step up, and take responsibility. So yea, my friend at the time delivered the baby and then called an ambulance.I haven't talked to that girl in a long time."

"Well that is kind of sad."

"Not really. Crystal doesn't know that her father didn't want her, she's too little to understand. It's better that way."

"Yea...well, why don't we go get some dinner?!" I said quickly changing the subject.

"YAY!" Billie jr. screamed. Lana smacked him and he started to cry.

"Lana! That was mean!" I scolded her, picking Billie jr. up and comforting him.

"But dad! He was screaming! Mom does that to me!"

"Lana, your old enough to know better than to scream. He's a baby."

"Okay fine, I'm sorry Junior." She said annoyed.

We went to dinner and came home. After putting the kids to bed Nikki and I went upstairs to my room for some needed making out. I laid her down on the bed and lay on top of her.

"Did you have a good time?" I asked kissing her neck in between words.

"MMMhmmm, I did." She answered, wiggling a little bit. After that we didn't talk much more. It is hard to talk with some ones tongue down your throat. I started to move my hands up her shirt, as I kissed her. I pushed her shirt off. She laid under me in her bra and a knee lengh black skirt. She had kicked off her shoes a long time ago, leaving only her skin colored nylons to cover her feet.

I started to pull at her bra, and she allowed me to remove it. Revealing her breast. I kissed from her mouth down her jawline and onto her neck. I kissed a little trail down her neck to her chest, taking one of those firm breast into my mouth. Nikki arched her back up. She whined softly as I gently sucked on her left nipple.

I pushed her skirt up her thigh with my right hand. As my hand approched her hip, she pushed it away. She looked at me "Not yet Billie. The last time I had sex with a guy too soon, and ended up alone with a baby." She said softly. I looked at her, pleading with my eyes, but nodded in agreement. She was right, we needed to slow down.

She got up and put her bra and her shirt back on. She looked at me with her blue eyes and smiled. "Maybe once we know we are ready for the relationship. I really like you Billie, and I'm sure someday, I will be fully ready to give myself to you. I'll come back tomorrow, if you'd like. Your kids are great."

"I'd very much like that. Bring Crystal. I'm sure junior would love her."

"Yea, I will. I had a great night Billie." She said, and bent over to kiss me on my lips softly. "I better get home. It's late, and the babysitter will want to go home now."

"Yea, see you and Crystal tomorrow."

"Yep. Bye Billie."

"Bye Nikki."

"And Billie?"

"Yea."

"I love you." Nikki said sincerly. Those three words hit me hard. She actually loved me.

"I love you too." I managed to say after a long pause.

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