When masterbation's lost it's fun

Authors Note:Okay, this is like future ness, so i will set the ages.
Billie Joe:40 (oh my god...:( )
Nikki: 27
Joey:17
Lana:14
Jakob:13
Billie Joe jr.:9
Crystal:8
End of authors note

So it's been five years, and I got married to Nikki, and everything is going beautifully. We are very happy together, and I finally did win custidy over Lana and Billie jr. Shelly got herslef cought up in some drugs, and ended up in a lot of legal trouble, and custidy of our two children was given to me. Joey and Jakob still live with their mom, but I see a lot more of them now that Joey has a car.

Nikki is pregnant with a little girl, so this will be five kids for me. Five children with three women...damn I did pretty good in forty years, haha. So I have four children, a step child, and my fith biological child on the way...I really am getting too old for this. How did I end up with this many children?

Nikki is really calm for a woman that is 9 months pregnant, she doesn't get upset easily, and she isn't extremely hormomal, and she is still just a sweet as sugar...but she can be hormonal if she wants too.

Joey has a serious girlfriend and he is going to marry her when he turns eighteen, which is coming up way to fast for me. He really loves this girl though, and they are planning their wedding, he asked her to marry him two months ago. She is a pretty thing, and she is about a month older than him. Adie has been overly excited about her little boy getting married, where as I can't believe that my son is getting married, and I am having another baby.

Lana has a little boyfriend as well, and she thinks he is god here on earth. It's that sweet little puppy love thing...I don't like him at all....he's like a year older than her, and he just irritates the hell out of me. He reminds me too much of myself at that age. It worries me that he will want to move to fast with her, and she will go along with it because she really thinks she loves him. I don't want my little princess to get hurt, or get herself into a situation that she is far from ready for.

Jakob has a girlfriend as well, but that is a total childs relationship. They hold hands and hug, but they don't really kiss..that i know of, and he just likes her in a crush kind of way. Personally, I feel that my children are growing up way to fucking fast, and I really can't stand it. I have a 17 year old, a 14 going on 15 year old, a 13 going on 14 year old, and a nine year old. Too many teenagers all at once...and damn it I am too old for it. Kids are hell, and I swear my hair is turning gray.

Nikki on the other hand is only 27...and she thinks it's great that the kids ar growing up...she really enjoyed watching me give my son the "talk". She almost fell on the ground laughing at my reaction to some of his questions. However I returned the favor when she had to explain to Lana why she was bleeding out of her...parts.

Lana's reaction to having her period did not go well...she actually cried for about an hour and a half, because she was afraid it meant that she was going to bleed all the time for the rest of her life...obviously Shelly made no effort to let her child know about growing up. Lana cried over her first pimple too. She cried when she started growing boobs, because she didn't want boys to look at her chest. Nikki took her to buy her first bra, and she cried. Lana and puberty meant a lot of crying. She has finally gotten over the fact that she is a girl and she is growing up...probably because of that irritaing little fuck that is her boyfriend.

For the most part though, everything os going great, and we are all living very nicely...except for Lana, who really has some emotional issuse...I should probably get her a therapist...just to make sure she is okay. She talks to Nikki a lot...about all of her female problems, and she talks to me about what music she likes, and blah blah blah...and occationally she will let slip what guy she thinks is...hot and most of the time I give her a hard time about it...and occationally, now that she understands sexuallity, I will say something horrible like "Oh yes, he is hot... I would so do him." And she gets all disgusted and doesn't talk to me for like, 15 minutes, than she laughs at me. It's really all a lot of fun, and I do enjoy having my kids....but they really are a bunch of little brats.

I don't know if I am really too happy that this baby is going to be a girl though...concidering that Lana cries so much about every little thing. I am worried that this one will be the same way as her very big sister....god why am I having another baby?

You know very well why Armstrong...you are having another baby because, #1, you can't keep it in your pants, and #2 what would you do if you didn't have a bunch of little brats to yell at all the time...I will probably die yelling at one of my children...I totally see that happening.