Passion in My Eyes, Ice in My Veins

“Leslie!” A faint voice yelled.

I couldn’t tell if it was in my dream or if it was my Mother calling for me. Either way, I didn’t open my eyes. Not until I heard the voice scream my name again. “Leslie!” This time, it was louder.

I groaned and finally opened my eyes. If it was a dream, it was annoying the hell out of me. And if it was real, I’d just wait till they hollered my name a third time so I knew it was real.

“LESLIE! GET YOUR ASS OUT OF BED NOW!” My Father yelled even louder than my Mother.

“Shit,” I mumbled and jumped out of bed. It’s gotta be important.

I ran out of my room without trying to tame my wild, tangled hair. Sleep was still in the corners of my eyes, and I didn’t bother to wipe them away. I was wearing a large Metallica shirt that belonged to Matt, and some boy shorts.

I came into the foyer and saw my Mom standing there with the door open, talking to someone. As I walked closer, I realized that someone was Matt. I froze in my tracks.

“There you are!” My Mother sighed. “Your Father and I called your name a hundred times!”

“Sorry,” I said embarrassed and walked to the door. Then it hit me.

Matt’s leaving… now.

I gulped and felt my knees almost give in on me. I held onto the frame of the door as I stared at his beautiful face, looking at me like I was insane. My throat burned since I didn’t speak a word to him. I just let my mouth hang open, stupidly.

“Either you go outside or he comes in, Leslie. I’m not going to let bugs come in,” My Mother said as she looked at some of the nats flying in.

“Um,” I mumbled then took a step out onto the cold concrete of my porch. My Mom shut the door behind me and I crossed my arms sadly, knowing this was it.

This was goodbye.

“You look great.” Matt laughed jokingly looking me up and down.

“I didn’t know you were leaving so early.” I looked up at him squinting since my eyes were still adjusting to the light.

“Early? It’s noon. We’re running late.” He chuckled.

I looked behind him and saw all the guys loading the van across the street. Sighing, I looked down at my bare feet. I couldn’t believe this was it.

“So when do you start school?” Matt asked as he leaned against the brick of my house.

“Sometime in September.” I shrugged, not really caring.

Matt sighed. “Come here.” He reached out to me then pulled me into his chest.

I wrapped my arms around him and sighed heavily. I was waiting for myself to cry. After a few seconds, I was so shocked and surprised that I didn’t start bawling right there.

“I’m going to miss ya shortie.” Matt laughed a little and kissed my head as he slowly rocked back and forth.

“I’m going to miss you too,” I mumbled and wrapped my arms around him tightly.

I closed my eyes and breathed in his sweet scent, not wanting to let this moment just slip away. Our time was down to the minutes, and I had no idea when we would be like this again.

“Promise me something,” he said thoughtfully as he rubbed my back gently.

“Anything,” I promised right then and there.

He sighed a little. “When I’m gone, don’t find someone else.”

I looked up at him completely shocked he would even say something like that. “What?” I asked confused, my voice cracking a little.

“I don’t want you to go out and find some new guy at college. I don’t know what I am going to do with out you,” he admitted shyly.

“Matt.” I laughed and turned his face to me and looked him in the eyes. “I’m not going to find anyone more perfect than you. I’m not going to find anyone who can make me feel the way you make me feel. There’s no one else out there for me. And I mean it.”

He smiled and kissed me softly. I stood on my tip toes as I put my hand on the back of his neck, pressing my lips a little harder against his.

“Matt! We’re all loaded!” Jimmy hollered from across the street.

He sighed and pulled away slowly, stroking my cheek. “I’m not going to forget you, you know that.”

“I do.” I smiled, truly believing him as I leaned into his hand. “And I’m not going to forget you. I promise.” I took his hand and kissed his palm softly.

He smiled and kissed me again, cupping my face in his hands.

“GUYS! CUT IT OUT!” Zacky hollered. “We have to go!”

I laughed a little against Matt’s lips as he pulled away. He took my hand and walked with me down the path and across the street to the guys. “Damn Leslie.” Brian chuckled as he looked at me. “You look lovely in the morning.”

“Fuck you.” I laughed and rolled my eyes.

“I’m actually gonna miss you.” Zacky laughed and hugged me.

“Gee thanks. You sound so sure of yourself.” I joked.

“You make sure my Brother doesn’t go off and mess around with your friends in College, kay?” He laughed.

“Will do.” I nodded. “Make sure matt goes out to strip clubs with you guys and goes to bars.” I laughed.

“Will do.” He nodded then walked off to the other side of the van.

I looked at Matt and he shook his head laughing. I said a quick bye to the guys then turned to Matt once more. “I love you,” I whispered sadly as he hugged me again.

“I love you too. More than anything.” He kissed my head over and over.

“Call me as much as you can. And write if you get the chance to. Take pictures of the places you go.” I smiled.

“I will.” He kissed me. “I promise.”

“Good.” I sighed and kissed him again sadly.

“You sure you don’t want to come? Last chance.” He tried to smile convincingly.

“Matt. Don’t make this harder than it already is.” I sighed.

“Sorry.” He kissed my forehead for a minute then lifted my chin. “I’ll see you soon. I promise.”

I nodded and kissed him again more passionately. I was still shocked I wasn’t in tears. I’m holding up a lot better than I thought.

Brian honked the horn for an annoyingly long time, telling matt and I to pull away from each other’s lips. “Have fun.” I smiled at him.

“You too.” He kissed me then grabbed his bags off the ground and headed to the drivers door.

“Bye.” I sighed and kissed him as he tossed his things in.

“See ya.” He corrected me and pecked my lips once more. He got in the car and shut the door. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” My voice cracked and he buckled up.

He blew me a kiss as he checked the mirrors and started to pull away. “Bye,” I whispered and waved as the van moved down the road.

I wanted to fall to my knees, begging him to come back. I wanted to burst out in tears in the middle of the road. But I couldn’t bring myself to do it.

Sighing, I walked inside and saw my Mother and Father sitting at the kitchen table. “Honey?” My Mom asked, knowing that I was probably hurting inside.

“I’m fine.” I lied, my voice cracking. I knew she was going to ask how I was holding up. I didn’t want to talk to her.

I went back up to my room and shut the door. I laid on my bed and felt my stomach lurch. The tip of my nose started to tingle, and my vision began to blur. I started to cry into my pillow.

He’s gone.