Passion in My Eyes, Ice in My Veins

“I CAN NOT BELIEVE YOU!” My Mom yelled at the top of her lungs for the fourth time, pacing the kitchen.

I stared at the ground, occasionally seeing her feet carry her back and forth. My eyes were half closed. I was so tired. I didn’t want to be here at all.

I know I had to tell my parents, and boy.. They were not happy. I mean, whose parents would be happy about hearing their 17 year old daughter being impregnated by a guy they don’t even like. Especially a guy with tattoos and a lip piercing. I personally wouldn’t be thrilled.

But Matt was such a good guy. I really wish my Parents could see that. He was going to make a great Father. And I was going to bust my butt to be a good Mother.

“You snuck out of this house, you’ve lied to us, just to go off and sleep with Matthew?!” My Dad hollered.

I stayed quiet yet again.

“I can’t believe this.” Mom shook her head, staring at the ground. “Seventeen years old and pregnant.”

“What will your Grandmother think?” Dad asked harshly.

Ouch. That hurt. My Grandma was a hardcore Christian. I don’t think she could ever look at me the same when she found out I was pregnant, and not married.

Marriage. Oh god. This doesn’t mean Matt and I have to get married, does it?

“Go to your room.” My Mom was crying. I could hear her voice cracking as she spoke.

I got up and walked away, putting my hand on my belly. I heard my Dad grumble under his breath, seeing I was already getting used to the fact a child was growing inside me. Mine and Matt’s baby.

My room seemed a lot smaller. I was probably imagining things. I did that a lot lately. It seemed like everything I was content with was bothering me. Of course I was moody, but I never thought I’d be this bad.

I felt numb. Not angry, upset or really annoyed.

I didn’t feel anything.

“How’d they take it?” Cassandra asked as she looked down at me as I laid on my bed.

“Like any normal parents would.” I shrugged, pressing pause on my cassette player.

“I’m sorry babe.” She sighed and brushed the hair out of my face.

I smiled a little up at her. I was so happy I had Cassandra here with me. Without her, I’d be getting through this mess alone. I’d probably hate the idea of something growing inside my body. I never wanted to be pregnant. But she talked be through it, and she let me know everything will be okay.

Without her support, and Matt’s promises for a brighter future, I wouldn’t be doing this.

“Thanks a lot.” I smiled.

She grinned. “Of course.”

We spent the next couple hours picking out baby names. I felt so weird. I never thought I’d be doing this. I never pictured myself being a Mom. But I got a jolt in my stomach, and obviously it wasn’t the baby, every time I thought about a kid running around the house, calling me Mommy and Matt Daddy. I grinned.

Right on time, the phone rang. I picked it up and sat back down on my bed. “Hello?” I asked rather enthusiastically.

“You sound happy.” He laughed.

“I know.” I giggled. “Cassandra and I were just watching a movie we rented.”

“You two having fun?”

“Mhm.” I nodded smiling. “How about you baby?”

“Alright.” I could tell he shrugged. “I really miss you. I want to see you so bad.” A small sigh.

“I know.” I sighed and popped an M&M in my mouth. “You’re going to be home in a week.”

“That’s too long.” He groaned. “I want to be there when you get big,” he said quietly, getting serious.

“Matt…” I got up from my bed, leaving Cassandra by herself with the bag of popcorn, then walked into the bathroom, shutting the door. “You’ll be here soon.”

“It’s not fair.” He sniffled.

Oh god. Just thinking about Matt crying was one thing. But actually hearing his well up was getting to me like no other.

“Some girl gets to be with you every day to help you get through this, and all I can do is talk to you on the phone.”

“You’re helping me get through this too, Matt.” I sat on the toilet and looked down sadly. “I don’t know what I’d do if you didn’t call me everyday to tell me we’re going to get through this and that you’ll provide the baby and I with a nice home and a good amount of money.”

“That’s not enough!” Matt was really upset, and it was getting to me.

“Matt, stop.” I felt my eyes tear up.

He sighed. “I’m sorry. I just miss you. I want to be with you.”

“One more week, baby.” I sighed. “One more week.”

That week, was excruciatingly long. I couldn’t take it.

I started to get a little bump. It’s been about a month and a half. My stomach was hardening already. I ran my hand across my belly, thinking about what the baby will look like. Will it be a guy, or a girl? Will it even look like me at all?

The door bell rang and I bolted out of the bathroom as fast as I could. I pulled on a hoodie and ran down the steps. My Mom and Dad were sitting at the breakfast table when I passed. I ran to the door and pulled it open.

Before words could even be exchanged, I jumped on him. I wrapped my legs and my arms tightly around his warm body. My eyes started to tear up and in seconds I was crying.

“Baby.” He laughed and rubbed my back.

He set me down on my feet then cupped my face in his hands. I pressed my lips hard against his, feeling my lips were trembling against his. He put his hands on the back of my neck, pulling me even closer to him.

I deepened the kiss as soon as I was ready. I wanted more and more of him. More than ever. Even though I couldn’t have him in that sense, I wanted at least a little bit of him now.

His tongue slid across mine, sending chills down my spine. God. I couldn’t breathe. Feeling him against me was just amazing. It was what I have been waiting for, for two and a half months. I couldn’t believe I had gone with out him for that long.

We both pulled away after what seemed like an hour. Breathlessly, I looked up at him, into his eyes. I wanted to melt right there.

He looked different. In a good way, of course. His eyes were so intense. They gave me a shock through out my body that I loved to feel. His hands rubbed my sides gently as he smiled crookedly.

“I missed you so much,” I choked out, still crying.

Matt wiped my tears away then pecked my lips softly. “I missed you too.” He rested his forehead against mine.

His hand trembling, he slowly put his hand over my belly. He was shocked to see how much of a difference there was. I looked into his eyes scared, afraid he wouldn’t say anything and just leave.

Instead, he pressed his lips against mine. I was shocked and kissed him back happily. After a while he pulled away. “We’re going to have a baby!”