I Left The Lights On So You Stumble In Devotion

Every time you score an important goal, you instantly realize you’ve got a million pros and cons being thrown at your head. Obviously the good part is the fact that you’ve gotten a goal, maybe won the game for your team or evened things up so that you could get everybody back into thinking there was a chance at winning. But there’s always the nagging from the press, the fans of the other team complaining about the refs winning the game for you and saying the goal was a fluke. Evgeni shook his head as he just barely finished his last interview. He agreed with them, it was a fluke, but it was his fluke. It would be one of those flukes that would be talked about long after the series was over.

Evgeni would glance over at Sidney occasionally, watching as Sidney pondered in his head for the best words to use, taken from his much larger vocabulary. He would say something excellent, and then TSN would be replaying it until the next time they bombarded him or Ovechkin. Of course they’d try to provoke him into badmouthing Ovechkin, but he wouldn’t, he had too much respect for that. Sidney would tell people that it was about the teams, not about the false rivalry they’d created between him and Ovechkin. The press wouldn’t believe him, but Evgeni could tell Sidney was being sincere.

They left the airport together, walking their way past people as they continued to trudge along. Evgeni was caught smiling to himself as he stared at Sidney, almost walking into people and toppling himself over. Sidney looked happy, his eyes brightly staring ahead and his smile almost stretching off of his face.

“So, uh- what’s the plan for tonight?” asked Sidney, holding a door open for Evgeni.

“I am not sure.” replied Evgeni honestly, following behind Sidney as if he’d parked his car anywhere near his.

“I was thinking maybe we could, you know… have dinner or something, watch a movie, that sort of thing.” Sidney coughed as he finished the sentence, casually looking around.

“Okay.”

‘Okay’ was Evgeni’s safe word. For some reason, when his mind couldn’t produce any English words for him to mispronounce or misuse, he would just say ‘okay’ and things would be fine. Saying ‘okay’ to Sidney usually ended up being an alright thing, so he shrugged to himself.

***

Evgeni pushed his front door open, slamming it shut while the sound echoed off into the walls of his silent apartment. Evgeni’s body was still sore from the game they’d had the night before. Every time he thought about last night’s game, he found himself grinning for no reason. It was probably because they were finally winning three to two in the round against Washington, and Evgeni was pleased with this. He’d gotten the winning goal in overtime- a fluke, but an amazing goal to have under his belt.

He sat on his couch, flicking through the channels on his television. He would’ve slept if he hadn’t felt so restless, unable to get comfortable where he was sitting. He also knew Sidney would be arriving soon. This made him slightly nervous, he had no idea what to say to Sidney most of the time.

Sure, he was slowly becoming more comfortable, but he and Sidney made an extremely awkward pairing. Sidney could talk all night, but Evgeni only had enough vocabulary to hold up a conversation that would last approximately three minutes.

Eventually Evgeni got the energy to shower and change into something that wasn’t a product of the Pittsburgh penguins. Coincidentally enough, that was when he heard a knock at his door. He walked slowly towards the door, biting his lip while trying to think of what to say.

“Hey Evgeni.” Evgeni stared at Sidney, completely unknowing of what to say.

Sidney saying his entire first name threw him off from everything he’d planned on his walk over to the doorway. He didn’t care anymore, he just smiled his best and pushed the door open wider for Sidney to walk in.

This was Evgeni’s least favourite part about his ‘relationship’ with Sidney. He had no idea what he was supposed to say or do at any time. Evgeni’s feelings for Sidney had suddenly come out of nowhere, but Sidney’s actions all seem so pre-planned and thoughtful. Evgeni always felt confused and unsure of what they were supposed to do together, but Sidney made everything feel so natural; he’d often felt a bit guilty about leading Sidney on like he almost knew how to maintain a relationship with a man.

“Did you see the interview Ovechkin did with TSN?” Of course, only Sidney would want to talk about hockey the one second of the day where they weren’t surrounded by it. “He doesn’t think he’s going to get suspended for that hit against Gonch.”

Evgeni pursed his lips, folding his arms as Sidney set down a bag, full of what he guessed was food, onto his counter-top. Ovechkin’s play on Gonchar infuriated him. Gonchar was like a mentor to him, and he didn’t like knowing that he’d been hurt intentionally by someone that he used to be able to call a friend.

“Have you talked to him lately?” asked Sidney, his eyes looking directly into Evgeni’s.

“No.” muttered Evgeni.

“I think it’s bullshit, but what can I say? They’re all over us already because they say the refs let us win.” Sidney snorted, continuing his hockey rant. “The refs were pretty equal last game, you know? They can’t ever just say something good when we play good.”

Evgeni just nodded, remaining stationary while he watched Sidney roam around his kitchen. It amazed Evgeni how comfortable Sidney could be, just acting like making dinner for him was the most regular thing.

“I didn’t actually make this stuff,” Sidney sniffed one of the containers, “I just assumed you’d like Chinese, and it was the fastest. There’s this really good Chinese place that I pass every time on my way over here.”

Sidney was beginning to talk so fast that Evgeni could barely distinguish what was being said.

“Do you like Chinese food? You, uh, haven’t said anything.” Sidney frowned to himself, glancing between Evgeni's face and the food he'd laid out. “You don’t like it, do you? I probably should’ve asked you what you wanted, instead of just guessing. I’m just going to throw this out.”

Evgeni just watched in amusement as Sidney began to put everything back in the bag, muttering to himself about ‘what the fuck would a Russian like to eat’. He laughed lightly, causing Sidney to look at him in confusion.

“What?”

“You worry too much.” said Evgeni bluntly. “I do not care, I eat anything.”

Sidney stopped for a second, taking the containers back out of their bag. Evgeni almost expected him to get angry at him, become extremely defensive over himself and say that he doesn’t worry. But, he doesn’t say anything at all, just stops talking. Evgeni would be thankful for this if he didn’t like the ringing of Sidney’s voice in his ears, or if he didn’t think that Sidney wasn’t talking because he was a bit angry.

Evgeni wasn’t really sure of how he was supposed to comfort Sidney. He was getting good enough at reading Sidney to be able to distinguish his emotions, he just had no idea how he was supposed to handle them. He stared at Sidney’s back, feeling like he should say or do something. But what? What did Sidney want him to do?

Evgeni walked forwards a little bit, pausing in his movement to think before continuing to walk to Sidney. He wrapped his arms around Sidney’s waist, blushing as he waited for a reaction from Sidney. Sidney stopped frantically fussing with the food in the bag and turned his head a little bit so he was face to face with Evgeni.

“I sorry.” said Evgeni simply, hoping his simple English would serve justice.

“I’m not really mad, Geno. You know that, right?” Sidney smiled, fully turning around in Evgeni’s arms.

Evgeni felt a bit odd now, things weren’t so instinctive when he was face to face with Sidney. He half-waited for Sidney to make some sort of move, even though he was holding Sidney with his own arms. Sidney smiled at him, waiting for some sort of response. Evgeni searched his mind for a word of some sort, but knew everything he would say would come out as complete shit. Instead, he leaned in to give Sidney a quick, gentle peck on the lips. Evgeni’s forehead burrowed in curiosity when he realized Sidney was still smiling at him.

“You realize that was the first time you’ve ever kissed me?”

“I…” Evgeni stopped, hating to say the word ‘kiss’. “We have, many times.”

“Yeah, Evgeni,” Evgeni felt his cheeks blush, “we’ve kissed because I’ve started it.”

Evgeni shifted, ignoring Sidney’s smile as he let go of him and grabbed one of the containers he had laid out on his counter. Sidney grabbed one as well, following Evgeni to the couch in the living room. It was quiet, the two of them were watching the Anaheim vs. Detroit game too intensely to notice each other while eating their Chinese food. Evgeni would glance over at Sidney every now and then, observing how peaceful and content he looked. It made him happy, knowing that Sidney was happy with this.

“You’re always so quiet.”

“Sorry.”

And Evgeni meant it, he was very sorry for not being able to say to Sidney what Sidney deserved to hear from someone who supposedly had feelings for them.