I Left The Lights On So You Stumble In Devotion

It was one of those times when Sidney Crosby made it apparent why he was captain of the team regardless of his age. He sat in the locker room, head high even though he’d just witnessed the same loss as the rest of the team. He lacked in experience in the playoffs, but he held the same as the older men. He had just finished a confidence filled speech, causing everyone in the dressing room to feel hope as they sat in silence to undress. Evgeni didn’t fully understand it all, but he could feel every emotion lingering in the room. Sometimes he liked to believe that Sidney really did feel so positive for their team, because he knew that sometimes he didn’t.

Nobody said much as they were leaving. Sidney gave Evgeni a pat on the back as he left, ruffling his hair with his left hand. He was wordless, watching as everybody walked out. Evgeni could sense that he wouldn’t be so wordless later, nodding at Sidney when Sidney whispered in his ear to come over and stay the night.

Evgeni felt miserable as he left the stadium, trying his hard to focus on the road on the way home. He couldn’t stop thinking about every shot he’d taken and every shot he’d seen taken; something should have went in. Varlamov was impossible.

Evgeni went home, showered as slowly as possible. Every drop of water that hit his body allowed him to feel the tenderness in every limb, the aching of every muscle. He would’ve eaten before leaving to drive over to Sidney’s but he wasn’t sure if he could keep everything down. He could never eat after a game, especially not after losing.

Sidney greeted him with a sad smile, his eyes slightly puffy and red. Evgeni frowned, following behind him as he held his door open. Sidney dragged himself over to his bed, plopping down soundlessly. Evgeni slowly hovered over his side before falling towards the bed also. Evgeni wondered to himself if Sidney was going to speak at all, or if he just wanted him present while he cried. He wasn’t sure of what to say, he wasn’t really in the mood to comfort and wasn’t too qualified to do it anyway.

“You okay?” asked Evgeni quietly, keeping his hands in his lap as he glanced over at Sidney.

Sidney huffed, his hand quickly scraping his face. He didn’t want Evgeni to see him cry, but Evgeni wouldn’t have cared if he’d cried a small pond. Evgeni would never be able to think of Sidney as being weak. He wasn’t. He held himself stronger than anybody else Evgeni knew.

“It is alright.” said Evgeni plainly.

Sidney let out a muffled sob, coughing afterwards to cover it up. He turned over towards Evgeni, mimicking him from a few nights ago while laying his head on Evgeni’s chest. Evgeni awkwardly pulled his arms around him, admiring how soft Sidney’s hair felt against his neck.

“Evgeni.” said Sidney softly, lowly sniffing to himself.

“Yeah?”

“Do you think we’re going to win?” whispered Sidney, his voice sounding desperate. Desperate to sound hopeful.

“I… uh, I think we could. We do good, we play good. Next game we both score.” Evgeni laughed nervously. “I thought Sidney say we win next game?”

Sidney let out a nervous laugh too, his laugh sounding more anxious than Evgeni’s. Evgeni knew that deep down Sidney believed they would win. He knew that Sidney would be mapping out every future play in his head as soon as he stopped sulking. He knew that Sidney would be working hard on everything he thought he’d failed at in the previous game at tomorrow’s practice. He knew that Sidney would remain sleepless until he’d convinced himself they’d win.

“I just feel so helpless, Geno.” Evgeni frowned, waiting patiently for Sidney to continue speaking as Sidney’s hands ran down his side. “I’m sick of this fucking rivalry between me and Ovechkin. I don’t want to lose to him.”

“Stop worrying.” muttered Evgeni, shivering slightly as Sidney pressed his lips to his neck. “Just sleep.”

“I’m not tired.”

Evgeni didn’t really expect Sidney to just fall asleep. He knew Sidney better than that. He just laid there with his arms around Sidney as Sidney continued to kiss his neck and chest. Sidney’s hands found their way to his most sensitive spots, feeling like ice against his skin.

“Evgeni?” Evgeni could almost swear he could feel Sidney’s heartbeat hitting against him.

“Yeah?” He hated his voice so much.

“Just kiss me, okay?” Sidney leaned upwards, pressing his lips firmly against Evgeni’s jaw.

Evgeni didn’t really seem up for objection, allowing Crosby to haul him on top of his warm, inviting body. Evgeni did feel as though Sidney was letting him take advantage of him, knowing how Sidney was just feeling vulnerable about losing. He had to feel bad if he was letting Evgeni dominate over him, this was very unusual. Sidney’s legs wrapped roughly around Evgeni’s waist, causing Evgeni to haul away from his mouth.

“What?” said Sidney, gasping as he tried to haul Evgeni back.

“You are upset over game.” stated Evgeni, but he was ignored as Sidney planted kisses all along his neck.

“I am, but you’re making me feel better, Geno.”

Evgeni couldn’t argue with him there, he felt much better physically with Sidney laying below him. With Evgeni hauled away from him, Sidney took the time to haul off of his t-shirt before grabbing Evgeni’s. Evgeni gave in, like always, letting Sidney roughly grab at his t-shirt until it flew off of his body and across the room onto Sidney’s floor.

Evgeni leaned back down towards Sidney, thinking they’d go back to making out, but Sidney’s hands stretched downwards to the buttons on Evgeni’s pants. Evgeni stayed there leaning on his palms, in too much shock to allow himself to move. Sidney’s hands struggled with his buttons, finally unhooking them before ripping the zipper downwards. That sure made Evgeni nervous.

“Uh…”

Evgeni pondered his head for something to say, trying his hardest to get Sidney’s attention without telling him to stop. He could tell that Sidney was on a mission, and that he’d be offended if Evgeni told him to stop. In all honesty, every touch Sidney’s hand made as it roamed its way through Evgeni’s boxers gave Evgeni no reason for him to want to tell Sidney to stop.

Sidney’s other hand made its way up to Evgeni’s, holding it for a while before dragging it down towards his own hips. Evgeni gulped dryly, nearly feeling as though he would faint from the touch of Sidney’s hands. He knew what Sidney wanted, but he couldn’t quite force his hand to go any lower than the waistband of Sidney’s boxers.

It felt like they were laying there for hours, Sidney trying his hardest to get Evgeni worked up. Evgeni was speechless, trying his hardest to kiss Sidney back with the same force Sidney was exerting while trying equally as hard to repress his moans; it was difficult with Sidney’s hands refusing to get out of his boxers. Evgeni kept trying to ease Sidney up, but Sidney no longer paid any attention to him.

“Geno, I promise you that you’ll feel much better if you’d just stop wriggling around and let me touch you.”

Evgeni let out a small moan, feeling Sidney smile against his cheek before pressing his lips back to Evgeni’s. Sidney’s hands wrapped tightly against Evgeni in his boxers, his smooth palms starting to work their way from slow motions to faster motions. Every time Sidney would increase in speed, Evgeni would moan louder and grind his hips harder against Sidney. Even though Evgeni was the one moaning, Sidney’s smiles were proof that he was having his moment of enjoyment as well.

Evgeni could feel himself getting hotter, his and Sidney’s bodies beginning to sweat from their increased friction against each other. Evgeni’s hips continued to roughly grind against Sidney’s, his hands desperately trying to get into the waistband of Sidney’s boxers. He wasn’t sure of what to do, feeling around Sidney’s abdomen before getting his nerve up to grab Sidney in the same way Sidney had been grabbing him.

Not realizing he’d had his eyes closed, Evgeni opened them. Sidney looked beautiful as he was half-lidded and moaning heavily beneath him. Evgeni smiled to himself nervously, asking himself why he’d ever questioned this.

***

Things were much cooler in the morning, Evgeni realized Sidney had pulled all the blankets off of him the night before. Evgeni would’ve hauled the blankets back onto himself if he didn’t expect that it’d wake Sidney up, and at that time, he really didn’t want to wake Sidney up. The last thing he wanted to do right now was to have to try to hold a civil conversation with Sidney. He could hardly look over at him while he was asleep, the night before kept flashing back at him. He’d see Sidney naked beneath him, moaning, his hands working furiously at Evgeni’s body, his eyes half lidded and his mouth working against Evgeni’s neck in a violent matter.

It was one of the most single, bold moments Evgeni had ever had. He didn’t feel as though he’d ever let himself go as much as he did the night before.

He peeked underneath the single sheet laying over him, realizing he had remained naked after the previous night’s events. He glanced around the floor for articles of clothing belonging to him, finding it impossible to remember where everything had gotten thrown since everything was mainly a blur to him now.

Slowly and quietly, he tried to creep out of the bed. He stood up, noticing he’d failed to do so as Sidney rolled over and began smiling at his naked body. Evgeni suddenly felt shy, quickly hauling up a pillow from the cold floor to cover himself as he crept around to find his boxers. He hauled them on quickly before making his way back over to Sidney, who remained laying curled up in his warm blankets on his bed.

Sidney wrapped his arms around Evgeni, curling against his cold body. Evgeni could instantly tell that Sidney was also still remaining naked from the previous night, his body pressing against Evgeni’s in a non-threatening manner.

“Good morning.” Sidney’s voice sounded raspy, lingering in Evgeni’s ear as he lay a wet kiss against Evgeni’s neck. “Sleep well?”

Evgeni nodded, feeling more comfortable as Sidney lay his head on his shoulder. Heat came quickly as their bodies lay close together.

“Are you okay with what happened last night?” Evgeni grimaced in Sidney‘s straight-forward manner.

“I am alright.”

Evgeni knew Sidney would be unsatisfied with his answer, he knew that Sidney would give him a hurtful look that would cause his chest to tighten and his throat to ache.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done it. You just tempt me so bad, and I was in such a shitty mood, Geno. I’m really sorry.” Sidney blurted his words out too quickly, and Evgeni didn’t fully understand him but he had a feeling it was an apology.

“It is okay.”

“Thanks, Evgeni.” whispered Sidney, adding another kiss to Evgeni’s bruised neck. “I love you.”

Evgeni felt his heart beat up into his throat. He laid there next to Sidney, speechless and wide-eyed. He had no idea how to respond, but it felt like things had taken a much faster pace all of a sudden. He bit his lip, trying to distinguish the difference between regret and confusion.