You Are More Loved Than You Know

Today was the first day we had that we were completely busy- to the point where we had no time to breathe. Felicia and Dad must have overbooked us, but I didn’t really mind. I was worried about Steph though. I had only seen her when she was needed for photo shoots. Other than that, she simply vanished. Now that I think about it, my mom vanishes with her as well. I would ask someone about it, but right now, business comes first and apparently, we are in the works of making another Camp Rock 2, so, we are right now looking through casting videos. Demi was also with us and was bored out of her mind. I agreed with her completely. I get to play an airhead, but at least this time I get to be on camera more. I was now another celebrity councilor who taught painting. I don’t know what painting had to do with rocking out, but I’m not the writer, so I am not going to complain.

“Kevin, how about Sabrina Bryan as your love interest in this movie?”

“Won’t she be too well known for this movie dad? Besides, she is a cheetah girl.”

“That is true, but Kevin you said no to every single girl we have shown you today.”

“Maybe Jason doesn’t need a girl.”

“Kevin, if you are worried about Steph, don’t be. She actually wants you to choose someone.”

“It’s not that. I want Steph to be it. She is amazing dad.”

“She not is going to say yes.”

“Shut up Joe.”

“I think it’s sweet. Kevin, why don’t you let me talk to her? I am a woman, and women understand each other better than men can.” Megan did have a point.

“Fine, but she is a tough cookie to crack. It took mom and dad two hours to get her to say yes about moving in with us.”

“Well, we have a whole concert ahead of us. It will give me plenty of time. No one has been able to resist me! Well, except for Ashley and Ellie.” We all laughed with Megan and continued looking at videos. I mean, no offense to our fans, but some of the videos are just plain crazy. Have you ever seen a girl singing with both of her legs behind her head? Now this isn’t America’s Got Talent you are auditioning for. Some of these kids were actually pretty good. Nick chose like, 5 of them to be our backup band for the movie. Joe chose 8 more dancers and his “parents”. Megan and I chose some vocals and a few extras. Dad got their names and called their agents. Felicia was talking to a writer about a scene when Steph came in.

“Can I talk to you?” I just got up and followed her out of the room. Steph started pacing in the hall, but I let her be. I knew sooner or later she would speak.

“Why did you want me to move in?”

“Because you are 20 years old. You shouldn’t be a parent to your sister. You need help.”

“Maybe I don’t want help. Do you think I am incapable of taking care of my sister and me?”

“No, I don’t think that at all. I think you need an adult in your life that cares about you. You need someone that wants to protect you.”

“Well, thanks to you, Alyssa is so excited about moving in. I don’t need any help. I am fine.”

“No you’re not Steph! You have bags under your eyes. At night, I can hear you cry yourself to sleep. You pay bills that most teenagers don’t pay.”

“I’m not a teenager.”

“You’re right, but you aren’t an adult yet.”

“Why are you trying to change my life?”

“Steph, I love you.”

“Funny way of showing it.” She stormed off and I was left standing in the hallway by myself, wondering if I drove her away. Nothing I could think of made me realize why she was so upset. Maybe because when you have been alone for so long, it’s hard to open yourself up. Maybe she was so used to working for everything that she felt like we pitied her. All I knew was that I had to fix this and fast. Steph wasn’t just stubborn, she was also a runner. I couldn’t fight the tears anymore and for the first time, I realized that I just pushed a damaged girl over the edge; a damaged girl that I was madly in love with.

Steph’s POV

I was in my hotel room pressing the enter key on my computer as hard as I could. How dare he say that to me? Doesn’t he know how hard I worked towards everything? It’s not like I could easily hand over the reins to someone else. No one seemed to understand. Stupid, stupid people...and computers! The picture wouldn’t seem to upload properly; then again, tears can blind a person’s eyesight. I heard my cell go off, but I ignored it. I couldn’t talk to anyone right now. I don’t trust anyone right now. I couldn’t even trust my own sister, since she told him our story. There was frantic knocking on my door and I finally got up to answer it.

“Not now Megan.”

“I swear, I am not here for Kevin. I wanted to know if you have a chi mine broke.”

“Come in, I’ll grab it from the bathroom.” I walked into the bathroom and when I came out, she was looking at my pictures on my computer.

“These are amazing! Who taught you?”

“My mom did, before she...um...”

“It’s okay; you don’t need to say it. She must have been amazing.”

“She was. Her hearing was horrendous, but her eyes were so sharp. I miss her.”

“She is always with you. She is your shadow, your light, your soul.” All I could do was nod.

“Steph, what would your mom say about this?”

“Probably to take every good opportunity before it goes away.”

“So why aren’t you?”

“Because I can take care of us. I’ve been taking care of us since I was 16 years old!”

“Steph, you live in a one room apartment where you can barely pay the bills on, you are a full time college student and you are taking care of a 16 year old.”

“So?”

“You need the help whether you like to admit it or not.”

“Well, I am not going to.”

“Fine. Thanks for the straightener.” I just nodded and she walked towards the door.

“Kevin thinks you don’t love him anymore. Just thought you should know.” Now I feel guilty. Maybe they were right, maybe I do need help. It’s not like my mom wanted this life for us, but could we handle living with rock stars? What would happen to us if Kevin and I were to break up? I couldn’t bear that thought. What if I just went for it and risk it all? I am certainly not a risk taker of any sort. Why won’t this stupid computer work!?

I watched the boys perform and was in awe. Every night they did this and every night was better than the night before. Maybe staying wouldn’t be so bad. As the boys finished playing Shelf, I saw Kevin look at me and gave me a weak smile. All I could do was wave.
“Hey everyone! So we wrote this song a while back, but I thought I sing it to you guys tonight!” The girls went wild as Kevin strummed the notes on his guitar before singing.

“I wrote this lyric for you
All by myself
What makes you think I need you
Or anybody else
But when you see me walking
Just staring at my feet
Cause I'm not all about you
I'm already complete

Hope this doesn't make you cry
But I don't wanna make you mine
I told you for the millionth time
That I don't need you in my life

But you can see through me (yeah)
How you get to me
You know I'm just a fraud
I'm just afraid
I feel the same
But don't tell anyone
Don't tell anyone

I wake up thinking of you
And that weird’s me out
I try hard not to call you
But I can't do without
Hearing your voice tell me
That I am on your mind
It wouldn't work to rush this
I'll come around in time

I hope that you can understand
right now I don't know where I stand
I'd rather hide behind these walls
Pretending I don't care at all

But you can see through me (yeah)
How you get to me
You know I'm just a fraud
I'm just afraid
I feel the same
But don't tell anyone
Don't tell anyone

Life keeps going on
The world keep spinning round
Can't we stop going in circles
Am I afraid of what they'll say
Or too confused to see
You and me

But you can see through me (yeah)
How you get to me
You know I'm just a fraud (I'm just afraid)
I'm just afraid
I feel the same
But don't tell anyone
Don't tell anyone

But you can see through me (You can see through me)
How you get to me (How you get to me)
You know I'm just a fraud
I'm just afraid
I feel the same
But don't tell anyone
Don't tell anyone.” If I had realized how much I had hurt him, I wouldn’t have yelled at him. Not only that, I wished I could just give in. Just for once, do something that would solve everything for now. I would be doing this for us, Ally and I. We could have a better life. The boys got off the stage and did a quick costume change and performed their last song. I saw Denise and had my chance.

“Denise, I just want you to know that I never meant to hurt you or Kevin Sr. We would like to live with you and your family.”

“Dear, you are always welcomed to our home. I know how hard that was for you.”

“You have no idea! I feel better about it now.”

“Those boys know how to express things.” I nodded and walked up to Kevin as he came off the stage. I kissed him and the world stopped turning. I knew that I made the right choice this time.