You Are More Loved Than You Know

“Who was driving?”

“The bus driver...we didn’t even know what was happening until it was too late.” Ellie was sobbing as Steph was pacing back and forth in front of us.

“It’s all my fault! I wanted him to drive to make sure we got to the set safely because I thought we were going to get swarmed. I am so sorry Nick!” Nick stood up and hugged Steph, trying to calm her down.

”Nick, your phone’s ringing.” Joe announced, trying to reach the second blue key.

“Gee, thank you Joe. If it wasn’t for you, I would have still answered it.” Nick left the dressing room to talk to whoever was on the phone as Joe and I kept playing Guitar Hero. The girls were going to be here any minute.

“Where’s Nick?” Dad came rushing into the room, making Joe and I jump a mile.

“He’s on the phone. What’s the matter dad?”

“Go grab him. We need to go up to the hospital now. The girls were in a car crash with a truck.”

“Steph, sit down.”

“I can’t! Not until I know that Ashley is okay.” Nick moved Steph to a chair and made her sit down in it. As soon as she did, she started crying as well.

“WHERE IS MY SISTER? DON’T MAKE ME CALL YOUR SUPERVISOR, YOU NINCOMPOOP!!” I heard Alyssa’s voice loud and clear, coming down the hall. David saw us and directed Ally over to us. Steph got up and hugged her sister who was now extremely red.

“When Mrs. Jonas called me and told me, I was so scared Stephie! I couldn’t lose you too.”

“Ally, you’ll never lose me. I’m okay... well, except for this Ace bandage on my arm, but I am good.”

“Where’s Ash?”

“The doctors won’t let us see her. She was unconscious when we got here,” Ellie choke out before hugging Ally as well. Nick was now pacing which was surprising me because he was never like that. David sat next to me and Joe was playing the drums on his thighs.

“Why is he pacing?”

“Dude, he’s scaring me.” I look at Joe and David, and then smacked them in the head.

“Ow! What was that for?” I raised my hand and Joe quickly apologized. The air was getting tense again as Steph began pacing with Nick again. Joe was getting slightly bored and Ellie was getting annoyed with his drumming on her legs. David hugged Ally as she held my hand. Both she and Steph had a way of comforting people. Mom walked back into the waiting room and sat down across from me. Nick stopped pacing and looked right at her.

“Mom, I think it’s time.”

“Time for what?”

“Time to let our fans know that I am in love with Ash.” Everyone just stopped and looked at Nick like he was nuts, which I think we all secretly thought.

“Nick, they don’t even know you two are going out!” Nick looked at Steph and smiled.

“They know some stuff, but I want to tell them. All of this has got me thinking- I can’t let Ash slip away from me without declaring my love for her. I need her Steph.”

“Nick, I never want to take you away from her, but are you sure about this? I mean- remember how the fans acted about Joe and Ellie?”

“That’s because Joe never told them. They had to find out from TMZ. I don’t want to do that to them.”

“How do you plan on doing it,” Mom finally asked.

“A video blog. It’s the best way. I will be back!”

“Do you really want to leave now? I mean, what if she wakes up?”

“Okay, the video can wait. Where’s dad?”

“He’s with the doctors now. I don’t know what’s going on or else I would tell you.” So we were back to square one. Nick stopped pacing and Steph sat down and started wringing her hands. I put my hands on top of hers and she finally looked up at me. All I could do was pull her into a hug. Her eyes were filled with helplessness and sorrow. I knew how she felt. We both are very protective of everyone and the fact that neither of us can do anything is absolutely the hardest thing ever. I never felt so useless. Nick’s eyes were red and puffy, Joe looked like a train ran through his hair, Ellie looked almost ghost like in her trance, and David and Ally were both praying. I guess we all felt like that, all we could do was hope and pray that things would get better. I have never spent so much time in the hospital until this year, first with Ellie and now with Ash.

“Kevin, do you feel as helpless as me?” I looked down and saw those soulful eyes that I loved. I kissed her forehead and nodded into her hair. I could hear her sigh and felt her hug me tighter. I could see my mom signing to her and felt Steph signing back. Even though I couldn’t read it, I knew what they were saying- What’s taking so long? It seemed like hours since this all began and it wasn’t ending anytime soon. The funny thing was, I felt like something weird was going to happen. Call me crazy, but I did.

“Steph, I can’t wait to see you tomorrow.”

“I can’t wait to see you! These last two weeks without you boys have been pure torture! Did you know that Ally and David are now going out?”

“He called me yesterday and told me. How are you holding up?”

“*Sigh* She’s a teenager. There’s not a lot of thing in my control anymore.”

“Don’t worry Steph; things will be back to normal as soon as you end up back into my arms.”

“We need a picture together. Just you and me.”

“I can arrange for that. I love you.”

“I love you too, don’t ever forget.”

I don’t know about you, but there were some hints in that convo we had last night that made me get this feeling. This morning, I couldn’t even shake this anxiety I had and I now knew why. Nurses came in and out the doors to the ICU ward, but no sign of dad or the doctors. Everyone was getting restless and I could tell that Nick really wanted to barge right into ICU and find Ash, but dad told us to stay here. He went back to pacing as the girls started to fall asleep. Mom squeezed my hand and motioned to the doors, indicating that she was going to find some things out for us. I nodded and watched her leave. David was playing with Ally’s hair while Joe read a magazine as Ellie slept on his lap. I played with Steph fingers, hoping that she knows how much I loved her.

“Boys, she’s up.” Dad looked at us and we woke up the girls who immediately ran into ICU. When they reached the door though, they stopped and looked at Nick.

“Nick, you go first. I know that she wants to see you the most.” Nick hugged Steph and went in first. We watched through the window as Ash smiled at Nick and how happy they both were.

“She has a couple broken ribs and a concussion, but other than that, she’s okay. She has to stay overnight, but we can bring her home in the morning. I called her parents and they are flying back here to see her.”

“Why was she out for so long?”

“They were running tests and fixing her up, so they put her in a medical coma until now so that she wouldn’t be in pain.” Steph nodded at dad and I could feel her relax a little bit more. Nick walked out with a huge grin on his face and immediately hugged Steph.

“Thank you Steph. She wants to see everyone, but the nurse is kicking us out. She said she loves everyone and that she’s proud of me.”

“I knew she would. You know how hard it is for her to keep secrets? She gives things up so easily!” We all laughed and waved to Ash through the window before the nurse shoved us out. Steph and I rode in my car as we headed back to the house when I pulled into a park. We walked along the lit paths and found a bench to sit down at.

“If I never saw you again, I don’t know what I would do.”

“Kevin?”

“I was so scared Steph! I thought the worst of things and I need you.”

“If I never saw you again, I wouldn’t be able to live without you either.” She kissed me and I knew that neither of us would ever let each other go.