You Are More Loved Than You Know
Chapter 15: A Public Affair
“Okay, Joe did you steal my razor?”
“Possibly.”
“JOE!”
“Jeez, relax Kev. I will give it back in 10.”
“10 MINUTES?!?” Joe slammed the bathroom door before I could strangle him. I wouldn’t normally care so much, but tonight was the first night the girls would be seen with us at a public event. I still don’t know how the public feels about Steph and me. It almost seems like they forgot I have a girlfriend. They probably still think I am gay, which really is stupid. I don’t act gay and I don’t dress gay, if there is such a gay dress code. I walked down the hall to Steph’s room to hang out with her. When I got to the door, there was this big “DO NOT ENTER” sign on her door. I could hear giggling coming from the other side and a loud groan, signaling that Steph is being forced into something. From experience, I knew how difficult it was to persuade her to do something, so I just can’t imagine what Ashley and Ellie were making her do.
“Hey Kevin! Could you help me with my tie?” Nick peered around his door and I nodded.
“Did you know that Ashley and Ellie finally persuaded Steph not to work tonight?”
“Did they really? I have been trying that for weeks!”
“Let’s face it Kevin, you may have the looks and her heart, but there is still a lot for you to learn about her.”
“Thanks for the comforting thoughts Nick.” He shrugged his shoulders as I fixed his tie. I swear, I don’t know what my brothers would do without me. I could hear Joe singing in the bathroom and Nick and I just started laughing. He grabbed the camera and we stood outside the bathroom door.
“G’day mates! I am Nick Jonas and we are here listening to a mysterious creature sing off pitch behind this door. Let’s listen.”
“I,I will never love you enough!!!” I could see Ellie come out of Steph’s room, already completely dressed.
“What the hell is that? It sounds like a bloody seal is dying in there!” Nick and I burst out laughing and we could hear Joe drop something.
“Joe, hurry up! I need to grab the curling iron and bobby pins!”
“Joe, I need to shave and you have my razor.” Joe opened the door suddenly with half his face covered in shaving cream.
“LEAVE ME BE! It takes a lot to make this stunning.”
“Give me a break hair boy.” Ellie pushed past Joe and grabbed her stuff and stormed off to Steph’s room. I was still filming when Nick grabbed my razor from Joe.
“Your razor is in the cupboard smart one. Oh, say goodbye.” Nick points at the camera and Joe waves. We shut the door and ran down the hallway before Joe realizes what has happened. I tossed Nick the camera and went back to my room. My green walls engulf me into a safety zone. I pick up my guitar and started to play this song I heard a couple weeks ago.
“ I should never think
What's in your heart
What's in our home
So I won't
You'll learn to hate me
But still call me baby
Oh love
So call me by my name
And save your soul
Save your soul
Before you're too far gone
Before nothing can be done
I'll try to decide when
She'll lie in the end
I ain't got no fight in me
In this whole damn world
Tell you to hold off
You choose to hold on
It's the one thing that I've known
Once I put my coat on
I'm coming out in this all wrong
She's standing outside holding me
Saying oh please
I'm in love
I'm in love
Girl save your soul
Go on save your soul
Before it's too far gone
And before nothing can be done
'Cause without me
You got it all
So hold on
Without me you got it all
So hold on
Without me you got it all
Without me you got it all
So hold on
Without me you got it all
So hold on
Without me you got it all
So hold on
Hold on.” I looked up and saw Steph smiling at me in the doorway. She was wearing this elegant black gown and she looked so beautiful.
“You know, I actually feel pretty. I am glad I let them do this for me. Although, these heels make me feel unstable.” She looked down at them and let out a small chuckle. I stood up and pulled her into a tight embrace. I could feel her hug me back, laying her head on my chest. As I pulled away, I felt her kiss my chest and look up at me.
“What was that for?”
“Steph, do you know how weak you make my knees?”
“I’m surprised that you are able to stand.” I kiss her forehead and she smirked.
“Don’t shave.”
“I have to. Believe me, I don’t want to, but I have to. It’s the AMA’s!”
“I told Joe to steal your razor.”
“Gasp! You didn’t!” She started laughing and I heard Joe laughing as well. He walked into the room and slapped my shoulder.
“We had you fooled! But hurry up, mom is getting antsy. Something about us being late.” I quickly shaved and met everyone downstairs. We basically broke all speed limits to get to the red carpet and we made it right on time. I held Steph’s hand as we walked down the red carpet and the flashes were brighter than ever.
“Kevin, who is this young lady with you?”
“This is my girlfriend Stephanie.”
“How long have you two been together?”
“3 months.” I tried pulling us away from all the questions shouting at us, but they just kept coming. Joe and Nick weren’t having any more luck than we were. Dad finally took the girls away and left us to do our red carpet interview with Kristi Yamagucci. The whole entire time, I kept thinking about Steph.
“Kevin, we heard that your girlfriend is deaf.”
“She is actually hearing impaired, but yes, she is. She is also our photographer for our tours.”
“Will you be having your fans donate money for that as well as the diabetes?”
“I think that she would feel honored if we did do that. Kevin and Joe and I have been talking about adding that in as well.” Nick stuck out his chest, proud at how far our charity has come.
We finally sat down, and I let out my breath that I had been holding since we got here.
“Don’t let all of it out yet. You still have the award and the performance.”
“Thanks Ellie.”
“Hey, I’m just saying. I wonder if Joe will fall this year...”
“HEY!” We all laughed at Joe as the show began. Jimmy Kimmel is hilarious, but I got to admit, the purity jokes are getting annoying. We are used to the jokes about us though and some are really funny, like about nicknaming me ‘Ghostface Kevin’. Our friend Ashley Tisdale came out onto the stage, and we knew it was time for the award we were nominated in. I was so nervous. Stephanie grabbed my hand and smiled at me.
“T-Mobile breakout artist of the year goes to...THE JONAS BROTHERS!” Steph stood up with me and gave me this huge hug. Nick was punching the air and Joe just let out this sigh of relief.
“Wow, this is such an honor! I didn’t think we would win because we were up against some amazing artists. I would like to thank Hollywood Records, our parents and our fans. I would like to thank my girlfriend for all the support she has given me and making me feel better than I have been in years. Thank you all!” I could see Steph tearing up a bit from my thank you, but we had to stay backstage to give our performance. When we came out, all three girls were now sitting next to each other and our friends were with them. It was probably one of the best performances we have given, but Joe hardly moved. He thought he was jinxed, which he was...so at least there was no emergency room visits this year. I wouldn’t be able to handle another visit. We left the show to go to a private show we were doing. The girls all wore lighter dresses and were dancing along to every song. It was a blast.
I crawled into Steph’s bed later that night because I wanted to be near her for some reason.
“Kevin, I love you.” I kissed her softly and smiled at her.
“I love you too.” She snuggled in closer and fell asleep. I could help but to think how right this felt. I loved everything about her. I told myself to wait until 6 months and then ask her to marry me, which means Valentine’s Day. I had it all planned out too. Ally told me to ask her on Christmas, but I think that it might be too soon for Steph. She was still adjusting to everything. There was one thing that I am struggling with though-I want to make love to her. I mean, I know that by wearing my ring, my love for God will be first until I get married or find the right one. I have found her, but I also know that Steph is very wary of intimacy.
“Kevin?” I felt her waking up and I looked down at her soulful eyes staring up at me.
“Shh. Go back to sleep.” She shook her head and reached up to touch my lips.
“I know what you are thinking about. I can see it.” I was a bit afraid because we never really discussed this fact before.
“Do you really want me like that?”
“Yes, but when you are ready.” I could see her processing what I said. I thought about repeating it, making sure she knew what I said but she kissed me instead. Our clothes were flung across her room as our passion built up. Our bodies were pressed up against each other and I could feel both of our hearts racing. We never did actually make love, but we didn't need to. For us, this was all we needed for now.
“Possibly.”
“JOE!”
“Jeez, relax Kev. I will give it back in 10.”
“10 MINUTES?!?” Joe slammed the bathroom door before I could strangle him. I wouldn’t normally care so much, but tonight was the first night the girls would be seen with us at a public event. I still don’t know how the public feels about Steph and me. It almost seems like they forgot I have a girlfriend. They probably still think I am gay, which really is stupid. I don’t act gay and I don’t dress gay, if there is such a gay dress code. I walked down the hall to Steph’s room to hang out with her. When I got to the door, there was this big “DO NOT ENTER” sign on her door. I could hear giggling coming from the other side and a loud groan, signaling that Steph is being forced into something. From experience, I knew how difficult it was to persuade her to do something, so I just can’t imagine what Ashley and Ellie were making her do.
“Hey Kevin! Could you help me with my tie?” Nick peered around his door and I nodded.
“Did you know that Ashley and Ellie finally persuaded Steph not to work tonight?”
“Did they really? I have been trying that for weeks!”
“Let’s face it Kevin, you may have the looks and her heart, but there is still a lot for you to learn about her.”
“Thanks for the comforting thoughts Nick.” He shrugged his shoulders as I fixed his tie. I swear, I don’t know what my brothers would do without me. I could hear Joe singing in the bathroom and Nick and I just started laughing. He grabbed the camera and we stood outside the bathroom door.
“G’day mates! I am Nick Jonas and we are here listening to a mysterious creature sing off pitch behind this door. Let’s listen.”
“I,I will never love you enough!!!” I could see Ellie come out of Steph’s room, already completely dressed.
“What the hell is that? It sounds like a bloody seal is dying in there!” Nick and I burst out laughing and we could hear Joe drop something.
“Joe, hurry up! I need to grab the curling iron and bobby pins!”
“Joe, I need to shave and you have my razor.” Joe opened the door suddenly with half his face covered in shaving cream.
“LEAVE ME BE! It takes a lot to make this stunning.”
“Give me a break hair boy.” Ellie pushed past Joe and grabbed her stuff and stormed off to Steph’s room. I was still filming when Nick grabbed my razor from Joe.
“Your razor is in the cupboard smart one. Oh, say goodbye.” Nick points at the camera and Joe waves. We shut the door and ran down the hallway before Joe realizes what has happened. I tossed Nick the camera and went back to my room. My green walls engulf me into a safety zone. I pick up my guitar and started to play this song I heard a couple weeks ago.
“ I should never think
What's in your heart
What's in our home
So I won't
You'll learn to hate me
But still call me baby
Oh love
So call me by my name
And save your soul
Save your soul
Before you're too far gone
Before nothing can be done
I'll try to decide when
She'll lie in the end
I ain't got no fight in me
In this whole damn world
Tell you to hold off
You choose to hold on
It's the one thing that I've known
Once I put my coat on
I'm coming out in this all wrong
She's standing outside holding me
Saying oh please
I'm in love
I'm in love
Girl save your soul
Go on save your soul
Before it's too far gone
And before nothing can be done
'Cause without me
You got it all
So hold on
Without me you got it all
So hold on
Without me you got it all
Without me you got it all
So hold on
Without me you got it all
So hold on
Without me you got it all
So hold on
Hold on.” I looked up and saw Steph smiling at me in the doorway. She was wearing this elegant black gown and she looked so beautiful.
“You know, I actually feel pretty. I am glad I let them do this for me. Although, these heels make me feel unstable.” She looked down at them and let out a small chuckle. I stood up and pulled her into a tight embrace. I could feel her hug me back, laying her head on my chest. As I pulled away, I felt her kiss my chest and look up at me.
“What was that for?”
“Steph, do you know how weak you make my knees?”
“I’m surprised that you are able to stand.” I kiss her forehead and she smirked.
“Don’t shave.”
“I have to. Believe me, I don’t want to, but I have to. It’s the AMA’s!”
“I told Joe to steal your razor.”
“Gasp! You didn’t!” She started laughing and I heard Joe laughing as well. He walked into the room and slapped my shoulder.
“We had you fooled! But hurry up, mom is getting antsy. Something about us being late.” I quickly shaved and met everyone downstairs. We basically broke all speed limits to get to the red carpet and we made it right on time. I held Steph’s hand as we walked down the red carpet and the flashes were brighter than ever.
“Kevin, who is this young lady with you?”
“This is my girlfriend Stephanie.”
“How long have you two been together?”
“3 months.” I tried pulling us away from all the questions shouting at us, but they just kept coming. Joe and Nick weren’t having any more luck than we were. Dad finally took the girls away and left us to do our red carpet interview with Kristi Yamagucci. The whole entire time, I kept thinking about Steph.
“Kevin, we heard that your girlfriend is deaf.”
“She is actually hearing impaired, but yes, she is. She is also our photographer for our tours.”
“Will you be having your fans donate money for that as well as the diabetes?”
“I think that she would feel honored if we did do that. Kevin and Joe and I have been talking about adding that in as well.” Nick stuck out his chest, proud at how far our charity has come.
We finally sat down, and I let out my breath that I had been holding since we got here.
“Don’t let all of it out yet. You still have the award and the performance.”
“Thanks Ellie.”
“Hey, I’m just saying. I wonder if Joe will fall this year...”
“HEY!” We all laughed at Joe as the show began. Jimmy Kimmel is hilarious, but I got to admit, the purity jokes are getting annoying. We are used to the jokes about us though and some are really funny, like about nicknaming me ‘Ghostface Kevin’. Our friend Ashley Tisdale came out onto the stage, and we knew it was time for the award we were nominated in. I was so nervous. Stephanie grabbed my hand and smiled at me.
“T-Mobile breakout artist of the year goes to...THE JONAS BROTHERS!” Steph stood up with me and gave me this huge hug. Nick was punching the air and Joe just let out this sigh of relief.
“Wow, this is such an honor! I didn’t think we would win because we were up against some amazing artists. I would like to thank Hollywood Records, our parents and our fans. I would like to thank my girlfriend for all the support she has given me and making me feel better than I have been in years. Thank you all!” I could see Steph tearing up a bit from my thank you, but we had to stay backstage to give our performance. When we came out, all three girls were now sitting next to each other and our friends were with them. It was probably one of the best performances we have given, but Joe hardly moved. He thought he was jinxed, which he was...so at least there was no emergency room visits this year. I wouldn’t be able to handle another visit. We left the show to go to a private show we were doing. The girls all wore lighter dresses and were dancing along to every song. It was a blast.
I crawled into Steph’s bed later that night because I wanted to be near her for some reason.
“Kevin, I love you.” I kissed her softly and smiled at her.
“I love you too.” She snuggled in closer and fell asleep. I could help but to think how right this felt. I loved everything about her. I told myself to wait until 6 months and then ask her to marry me, which means Valentine’s Day. I had it all planned out too. Ally told me to ask her on Christmas, but I think that it might be too soon for Steph. She was still adjusting to everything. There was one thing that I am struggling with though-I want to make love to her. I mean, I know that by wearing my ring, my love for God will be first until I get married or find the right one. I have found her, but I also know that Steph is very wary of intimacy.
“Kevin?” I felt her waking up and I looked down at her soulful eyes staring up at me.
“Shh. Go back to sleep.” She shook her head and reached up to touch my lips.
“I know what you are thinking about. I can see it.” I was a bit afraid because we never really discussed this fact before.
“Do you really want me like that?”
“Yes, but when you are ready.” I could see her processing what I said. I thought about repeating it, making sure she knew what I said but she kissed me instead. Our clothes were flung across her room as our passion built up. Our bodies were pressed up against each other and I could feel both of our hearts racing. We never did actually make love, but we didn't need to. For us, this was all we needed for now.