I'd Like To Order A New Heart Please

(Still December 26, 2008.)

I felt my eyes start to prick with forming tears, ones that would have spilled if Jace hadn’t grabbed my shoulders and shook me slightly, “Nicole. You know I love you right?” I nodded slowly, “Then you should trust me when I say, nothing is going on here. I think everything is getting to you, and I know I must look like the enemy right now, but listen to yourself! You’re saying that Miley, the girl who stuck with you when Joe and Mandy kissed and who you’ve been friends with almost 2 years now, is trying to betray you! Please just do everyone and yourself a big favor and just go take a walk or something so you can think this through before you do something you regret!”

I wanted to say something, that my best friend was definitely the tape to my life, that I did feel myself slipping into an stress and paranoid filled lifestyle, or maybe express that me coming on the tour wasn’t such a good idea, but nothing came out of my mouth except, “I-but…..she-………her hair!…..I’m gonna take a nap” I mumbled before crawling into a random bunk and begging to slip into unconsciousness.

“Hey sleepy head, we’re at our first stop,” Miley’s voice disrupted my dreamless slumber.

“What time is it?” I grumbled, rubbing my eyes and sitting up.

“It’s around 3ish, you were out for a long time.” Miley tried joking to lighten up the already tense atmosphere.

When she saw it wasn’t working she sighed, “Scoot over please.” I did as asked and waited for her to continue as she rolled into the small bunk with me, “So I talked to everybody about Mandy and she sent me a picture text with her new look and I think I understand what’s going on now. Before you get all angry with what’s going on, take a step back and look what else is going on. Now you have every right to be mad at Mandy about what she did on Thanksgiving, but you have Joe now, and that’s what matters right? After all that you two have been through, you can still say that you are going strong. Mandy and Joe have been through a lot, and she will never have the pleasure to say that. Have you ever thought that maybe she was jealous?”

I felt my face crumple in thought while Miley started to get up from my bunk, “Think about that for a little bit. Take a walk if you want, we’re already at North Carolina venue.”

I stared at the place where Miley stood after she left.

Jealous?

Mandy was jealous of me?

Gorgeous, super model Mandy?

My thoughts continued to rattle my brain as I threw on some shoes and wrapped a blanket around my shoulders before I stepped off Metro Station’s bus, mumbling to Trace that I was going on a walk.

North Carolina weather wasn’t much different from Virginia’s, meaning my walk would have to be short and simple.

As I passed the Jonas bus I heard laughter, and from the open window I saw Mr. And Mrs. Jonas laughing with Mandy in the kitchen area of the bus.

I sighed, seeing my breath in the freezing air, before heading towards the parking lot.

Take a step back and look what else is going on.

Miley’s words rattled in my brain slightly before I took her advice. Sitting on a curb in the abandoned parking lot, I buried my head in my arms, mentally taking a step back from where I stood.

Mandy had every feature I would have died to have, and she goes and blows it to look like me. If she looks like me, then maybe she’s trying to be me.

My mind flashed back to Thanksgiving night, when Mandy came and sat next to me to explain herself. Her life has had so much more turmoil in it then mine has, and even my fraction of drama gets shriveled and spit upon when compared to hers.

No matter how I looked at the situation, Mandy and I were both the girls who were looking for our happy ending with the same guy. In the beginning of our combined story, Mandy was the good girl and had it all, and then she hit some bumps in the road that sent her down a different path than the Jonas’s. Then I came along and took over her cozy spot.

I guess she just wants it back now….

“Hey Jude, don’t make it bad,
Take a sad song and make it better!”

I felt my lips slide up into a small smile when I heard Joe singing for a distance.

I couldn‘t help myself, “Remember to let me into your heart,
and then you can start to make it better”

Joe’s voice sounded closer than before, “Hey Jude, don’t be afraid. I was made to go out and get you!”

I smiled at Joe as he sat down on the curb with me, offering him some of my blanket.

“So Jude, what are you doing out here in the cold?” He asked, wrapping his arms around my waist.

I rested my head against his shoulder, “Just thinking.”

“Thinking huh? I hear that’s dangerous.”

I laughed slightly and let my eyes close, enjoying this one moment of peace that we have yet to had today.

“Nicole…….” Joe began.

Well, there goes my peace.

“Look, I know you have a lot to think about, with Mandy around and what not. But as your little wheel is turning,” he tapped the top of my head for good measure, “can you keep something in mind?” he asked, planting small kisses up and down my neck.

I laughed and slowly separated myself from Joe’s wondering lips, “I can’t when you’re doing that.”

A smile tugged at his lips, “As long as you know I love you.”

I felt the corners of my lips turn up slightly before they attached themselves to his.

After a improved “peaceful” moment, Joe and I headed back to the Jonas bus.

Well at least we tried to.

“Joe! Where have you been? Uh! At least you’re ready, c’mon! We have to go to lockdown!” Kevin rambled, tugging on Joe’s arm in the direction of the stadium.

“Um, do you want to go do lockdown with us?” Joe asked, as he pulled me along with him.

“Sure?” I replied, just letting my body be tugged.

Kevin pulled Joe and (through the transitive property!) I down turns and bends till we were finally in the stadium’s dressing room for the performers.

“There you are! Well let lockdown begin!” Mr. Jonas said as he slipped out of the room, locking the door.

“Um….what?” I asked, looking around at everyone in the room. Nick and Kevin were sitting on the couch, strumming their guitars, Miley was sitting in a makeup chair, flipping through a magazine, and Frankie was sitting on a chair upside down, playing some portable video system.

“Sorry for just dragging you in here without explaining what’s going on,” Joe said, while wrapping his arms around me and locking me in a hug. “Before every show we go into ‘lock down’, which means that no one can come in or leave for 40 minutes. We basically just warm up in here, but yeah, that’s pretty much it.” Joe ended his explanation with a kiss to my forehead before he joined his brothers in warming up.

As promised, Miley and I watched Joe and his brothers warm up for 40 minutes, getting their blood pumping any way they could. Just watching them made me want to jump up and join them.

Once lock down was over I excitedly jumped out of my seat to join everybody in the pre-show prayer and “camp fire”. Together, we all screamed “living the dream” before the boys ran onto the stage after Miley’s introduction, Joe stealing a quick kiss from me before he dutifully joined his brothers.

Miley and I watched backstage, dancing and singing along to the songs the boys poured their hearts into. My time wasn’t even disturbed when Mandy joined us in our foolish dancing.

“Well my lovely audience, we’re sad to say that the show is coming to an end. But of course we wouldn’t leave without taking you to the Year 3000!” Nick shouted before a upbeat guitar riff started up.

Unexpectedly, Mandy grabbed my hands, making me turn to her. Going along with her, I excitedly danced with my hands clasped with her sweaty ones, only breaking to let Miley join in.

“You guys are beautiful! We love you!” Kevin shouted before they took their final bow and ran offstage.

Joe immediately swooped me up in a hug and spun me. “Joe! Put me down!” I said through my laughter. He gently set me on my feet, his lips crashing onto mine only milliseconds after.

“So how do you think we did?” he asked once we broke our lip lock.

“You guys were absolutely amazing! I had such a fun time just watching you guys! And I think I threw out my hip from dancing so much, but it’s okay! Because I love the Jonas Brothers!” I shouted, earning cheers from whomever was in ear shot.

“Now let’s go celebrate!” Miley shouted, earning even more cheers.

After we thanked everybody and managed to shove all the correct people onto the buses, we took off towards our hotel, which was only moments away.

Still pumping with adrenaline, we managed to toss our luggage into our assigned rooms and go on a mad rampage to the pool. Without a second thought, we all threw our bodies into the pool.

I kicked till I resurfaced from the 8 foot deep pool, gasping for breath while I felt a smile creeping onto my face.

Well I did until I felt a smack of water hit my face.

“Jace! You traitor!” I shouted before grabbing onto her shoulders and dunking her.

My laughter was cut short when I felt karma (or Kevin, however you want to look at it) coming back to me as he dunked me underwater as well.

The water war continued till an angry hotel employee angrily asked us to leave, mumbling about us make her life harder then it should be.

We all clambered out of the pool and stumbled like drunken fools to our room. Mandy, Miley, Jace and I were all placed in one room, Mr. And Mrs. Jonas and Frankie in the room right next door, the brothers in the room across the hall, and the rest of the band and crew scattered in an unknown abyss to me.

After watching Jace missing the slot 4 times, she finally managed to open the door, letting the four of us soaking girls fight to see who gets the shower first.

After being knocked down by a pillow, Jace rightfully claimed dibbs to the first use of the shower.

While Mandy passed out in the bed her and Miley were sharing, Miley joined me on the porch.

“Hey Nicole, how’s everything going for you?” she asked, cuddling up with a towel to keep warm.

I knew she was referring to the Mandy thing, “Eh, it’s going as good as it can. I figure that you guys were right and I am just being paranoid, so I figured I’d give her one last chance. Starting tomorrow, I’m starting a new slate with Mandy!” I smiled with what I hoped was confidence.

A warm smile slid onto Miley’s face, “I’m glad to hear that Nicole…”

Let’s just hope it stays clean.