I'd Like To Order A New Heart Please

Somehow, I managed to focus all of my attention on the parade. Well I did until Alex’s friend Jack, also known as the one who calls me his “little firecracker”, took the seat in which Trace was previously sitting in.

Combining forces, Alex and Jack kept me laughing the whole night. Together they either sang to me off tune, pretended to be an old married couple and bickered at each other, or just pointed to the parade below us and pretended to be that person.

“Look at me and my glittery flag!” Jack exclaimed, twirling his scarf in the air to imitate the color guard below.

“Aw snap! You’ll never guess who I am!” Alex said before starting to strut up and down the roof, belting S.O.S. extremely off key.

Jack then smacked Alex, “Joe! What have I told you about singing?”

“Uh what?”

“Never to do it! Now watch as I Nick Jonas do absolutely everything!” Jack then broke out into an air guitar, air piano, air drums, and singing.

I had to clutch my sides I was laughing so hard.

Just as Jack finished copying Nick, the giant screen underneath the ball changed to the Jonas float where Nick was doing everything that Jack just did.

“Ah! Look at that! Spot on good chap!” Alex’s fake accent couldn’t break my stare from the screen.

It wasn’t just because the Jonas Brother’s were on stage, granted that did make my heart feel as heavy as a stone, but it’s because of their surprise guest singer; Taylor Swift.

“Nicole? You whooo? Is anyone hom- oh.” Jack’s chipper attitude left and a scowl started to tug at his smile.

“Hmm, I guess there was a reason she wasn’t talking in the van.” Alex commented, sneering at the float below us.

I shifted my arms so that I could rest my chin on them, still not being able to take my eyes of the pair singing below me. I cursed myself for being so stupid. I should have left him the first time he proved to be disloyal to me. He promised he would never do it again, but just like a fool I waltzed right back into his arms. It was so clear to me now I wanted to smack my past self for not seeing it; Joseph Adam Jonas wasn’t healthy for me.

With my new realization I bolted up and to the door that leads to where all the floats are supposed to park when they were finished.

“Nicole! What are you doing? We look down and you were gone!” Jack pouted as he and Alex caught up to me.

I smiled and ran into Jack’s arm before grabbing his face and kissing both of his cheeks, “Don’t you see silly boy? I’m going to set myself free! I can’t believe I missed it this whole time! Don’t you understand! I don’t need Joe! I never needed him and his sweet nothings! I can-”

My new rampage was cut short when the Jonas float turned a corner. My smile was glued on my face, I was ready to break free from Joe’s grasp. Who says I needed to wait around for that fool to make such a huge decision in my life? Who says that I can’t be the one who can break up him!?

With time frozen, I can now properly tell you who says I can’t be my own woman. The same male who manages to destroy me with every little rock star move he makes.

The same male who’s face is buried deep into Taylor Swifts curls, their lips locked.

Faintly in the distance, I hear the gleeful shots as 2009 has finally arrived, but all I can really focus on is my pounding feet as I do what I do best since he’s interrupted my life; run.

**********

It’s January 3, 2009. I’ve been missing for three days now.

Well semi-missing.

And when I say semi-missing I mean that no one can really call the police to make a missing person’s report because I’m 19 in 15 days, and because I left a note on the Jonas bus.

“Don’t come looking for me. If I want you to find me, I’ll let you. Have fun with Taylor, Joe. -Nicole.”

OF course my phone has been ringing off the hook, but I usually just turn it off these days.
The rare times my phone is on, I read the text messages I receive. From what I’ve collected, Jace has left the bus after she gave Joe a nice shiner plus various other injuries. She’s also texted me that she has notified my parents and sent my stuff to them.

Other then text harassment, I tend to stray away from electronics as much as I can. His face is always plastered across magazine covers and on the TV. Granted, it does make me feel a little better to see the black eye and bandage over his nose when ever I do see his face, but the happiness usually dies when I see that blonde haired country singer tending to his wounds.

I also picked up a new habit of sewing while I’m on the move. People would be surprised how well I can stitch while either hitch hiking or riding in a rickety old Gray hound bus.

Speaking of said devil, my bus is currently on the side of a freeway, almost to my wanted destination; the airport.

I’ve been riding on this particular bus for about 9 hours with break intervals. I smell, I’m hungry, I’m pretty sure that I’m in Ohio somewhere, and I’m on my period. I think I have enough grounds to stand on to shout that my life is definitely dwelling in rock bottom.

All thanks to Joe frikkin Jonas. Well minus the period part, but that just makes me all the more lethal.

“Well ladies and gentlemen, we managed to blow two tires, so I’ve called for a back up bus. It should be here in about half an hour, so just sit tight until then.”

I rolled my eyes and continued to sew two shirts together to make a pair of shorts. A couple of stops ago my eyes landed on this small sewing kit and I figured why not? Besides, I’m going to need these shorts in San Diego.

Yes, San Diego. San Diego means Nathan, and Nathan means stability and an endless supply of Twinkies, chips, and chocolate.

At four in the morning on January 1, 2009 I called Nathan and told him what happened. All he said in return was for me to call him when I was ready to come back home to him.

So here I am, about 5 states later, fed up with my travels. I’ve spent 3 days without direction, just the motivation to move. It didn’t matter how I got there, or how dark it got, all I needed was to be swallowed in my misery for a few days to collect myself.
Now I’m ready to be back in California, with sun, the beaches, and no trace of Joe. Once the spring semester rolls around, I’ll be on a plane back to LA to finish my schooling, but until then I’m staying at Nathan’s house and helping re-construct the restaurant.

The other cozy looking safety net in California is the fact that it’s as far away from the Jonas’s that I can possibly get in the United States. Well at least for now. When they come to tour in California, my plan is to dig a hole in the ground and hide in there for a couple of weeks until I know the coast is clear. Or go visit my parents, what ever comes first.

“Ok everyone! The other bus is here, and we already loaded all of your luggage so off you go!”

I sighed and packed up the small few items I had in my possession, which in reality was a two shirts that I bought in a tourist store, my purse that I grabbed off the bus before I booked it, and Frank’s blanket that I forgot to return to him when I left.

After scurrying the two feet it took to get to the next bus, I settled in for the next 15 minute ride it took to get to the nearest airport.

California, here I come.