A Beautiful Lie

What is his problem? David thought to himself as he pushed the apartment building's front door open and walked into the busy sidewalks of New York City. This shit is getting a little out of hand. He nearly killed himself. What if he tries killing me next? He's making me feel nervous. Who should I talk to? Who can I talk to? Nobody's here. We're falling apart.

David decided to go in search for a new apartment since he would probably be moving out soon. Nathan wouldn't change for anyone.

Then, while he was walking, he walked past a psychiatrist's office. He stopped dead in his tracks and stared at the building. Who should I talk to? Who can I talk to? His thoughts flashbacked to him and he walked up the sidewalk to the door. He looked at the hours to see they were open until 9 pm. He smiled, feeling a flash of hope and twisted the doorknob.

He walked into the air conditioned room and took in his surroundings. A row of chairs for a waiting room, he was guessing and a desk a young lady doing paperwork. Receptionist? He walked up to her and she stopped writing and looked up and smiled.

"How may I help you?" She asked. Her voice was soft and loving.

She was a very pretty girl, her long brown hair pulled over her left shoulder and her blue and white striped t-shirt from Abercrombie. Her beautiful blue eyes met his and he couldn't help but look down. She was presentable and he was in his black tight jeans that made him look fat and an old band t-shirt and hair that he hadn't washed since yesterday.

"I, uh... I'm having problems with my, uh...roommate." He said. He was shocked. He was outgoing and openly gay. Why did she make that different?

"Is this your first time here?" She flashed a smile again.

"Uhm, yeah." He started to feel nervous.

"Please fill this out and I'll get you in as soon as Dr. Gutman is finished." She held out a clipboard with a pen attached to it.

"Oh, thank you." He said quietly and breathlessly. Thanks to her, he finally experienced the phrase, 'take my breath away'.

He took the clipboard and walked over to the chairs. He sat down and took the pen and started filling everything out.

Name, Address, Birthdate, Marital Status, etc.

Once he was finished, he gave the clipboard back and waited for his turn to visit the doctor. He picked up a magazine and started looking through it.

"Lindsay Lohan Dating A Woman?" The headline of the cover story said. David shook his head. Why do people have to be so misunderstanding? He thought as he flipped the page and looked through the rest of the magazine.

The doctor walked out of a door, into the waiting area and called David’s name. He put the magazine back and walked in. He started having second thoughts about this. What if Nathan finds out? What would he say? What would he do? The doctor led him into a cozy looking room with a couch and two chairs. The doctor sat in one chair and offered the couch or other seat to David. He took the other chair.

"So, David, first time here I see," The doctor said looking at the papers David filled out earlier and he gave him a nod. "Don’t worry, I won’t bite." The doctor gave David a reassuring smile. He must know I’m nervous. I hope Nathan doesn’t find out about this.

"Look, my, uh...roommate doesn’t know I’m here." David said. I did it again! Why am I so afraid all of a sudden?

"Your 'roommate'?" The doctor asked, raising his eyebrows. David’s stomach flipped and he felt a heat wave wash over him.

"It’s really hot in here." He stated. "May I open a window?"

"Go ahead, whatever makes you comfortable." David got up and walked to the window and opened it. He thought about jumping out and running away but then they’d send a bill in. Oh, my God, the billing. I hope they don’t send anything.

"Will you be sending me a bill for this?" He asked.

"Yes if you don’t pay."

"How much is it? I’ll run to the bank and take money out and come back."

"Is there a problem?" The doctor asked.

"Well, you see...My, uh, roommate is starting to scare me. I don’t want him to know I’m here."

"Is your ‘roommate’ by any chance, gay?" David felt his stomach flip again and thought of what he should say.

"Yes," He answered. "He’s my...boyfriend."

"Why are you so nervous about saying that?"

"I don’t know. I’ve never felt like this before. He’s been acting really weird lately and I’m afraid he’s going to hurt me. Well, he already hits me if I-" David cut himself off. He’s said too much.

"Go ahead, keep talking."

"What time is it? Oh, I have to leave." David looked at the clock and started to get up.

"You’re only hurting yourself by running away from your problems." The doctor said and David sat back down. "Now, why does he hit you?" David felt a little uncomfortable but knew he had to talk to someone.

"If I do something wrong or without checking with him, he smacks me."

"When was the last time he hit you?"

"This morning. But he didn’t hit me because I did something without telling him. He hit me because I...spoke my mind."

"Well I think you’re doing a very brave thing today. Our sessions will be an hour long and you can pay here and we won’t send you a bill unless you miss a payment. It’s already been ten minutes. Let’s talk about your boyfriend. What’s his name?"

"Nathan. I love him with all my heart but sometimes he just scares me. I don’t want to leave him but I don’t want to be alone with him."

"What’s the worst he’s done to you?"

"Well, we got in a fight the other day and I told him how I felt and he threw me out of our apartment. I slept in front of the door and woke up by the paperboy the next morning. I knocked on the door and gave him the paper and he let me inside and I cooked him breakfast and... It was as if nothing ever happened. Then, last night, he almost killed himself by jumping off our apartment roof. I don’t understand all of this."

Dr. Gutman made a few notes on his clipboard and looked at the clock. "Well, we’re all out of time. You can come back next week and we can talk more. I’d like to talk to Nathan myself to get into his head. I’m not quite sure what’s wrong yet but a few sessions may help."

"I’m sorry, I can’t bring him here. I told you, if he finds out, he might hurt me."

Dr. Gutman leaned forward in his seat and gave David a stern look. "If that man lays one hand on you, call the police." He said dryly.

David nodded in return and got out of his seat. He thanked the doctor and walked back to the beautiful receptionist.

"He wants you to come back?" She asked, clicking a few things on her computer.

"Next week," David answered and the girl nodded and typed a few things.

"Is Thursday at 4:30 okay for you?"

"Yeah, thanks." She typed a few more things and got out a card and wrote down the next appointment time and date and held it out to David.

He grabbed it and smiled and walked away. He walked through the door of the psychiatrist’s building and made his way back home.

David took his time climbing up the stairs and turned to their door and searched for his key. He pulled it out of his pocket and put it in the key hole and turned. The door clicked open and he pushed himself in.

"Nathan? I’m home!" David yelled and slid the appointment card into his back pocket.

Nathan came running out of the hallway and ran to David and gave him a big hug.

"I love you, Davey-poo!" David blushed. The last time they called each other that was when they were juniors in high school.

"I love you, too, Nathy-poo." David smiled. He liked how Nathan was acting. But he knew later on, Nathan will just become someone else.