A Picture Changed My Life Forever
Los Angeles
Six concerts, loud applauses and gigantic crowds of paparazzi later, we were back in my hometown. LA, California.
I was getting used to life without Dana. Our brestfriendship was over; that's the past already. But her words kept on striking me in my dreams. You know what's so heartbreaking?Knowing my bestfriend loves the love of life and knowing that she has a better chance with him.
That isn't an exact quote I think, but that's what she meant. But I believed her. And her words make me feel really bad.
The concert began and Gerard was reeled on the stage lying down on a hospital gurney. He started singing The End. and the music soon followed afterward.
Spectacular.
For the second time ever, I wasn't in the mosh pit. I was backstage, just peeking from behind the curtains of Frank's side. He was jumping around, you know, being the Frank he is, until he caught a glance of me giving him a two thumbs up.
He smiled at me, deviously, as if he had some plan up his sleeve.
After the song, Frank whispered his plan to Gerard, who whispered it to Ray, while Frank whispered it to Bob and Mikey. The all grinned and nodded.
Gerard looked at me from the side and grinned at me. He held the mic up to his lips. "Everyone, we'd like you to meet our close friend...."
"Who actually lives here, but she's now touring with us," Ray continued with his mic.
Frank grabbed Gee's mic. "Who also has my love of Skittles," shared Frank.
"Give it up for... Sam!" Gee, Ray and Frank said at the same time. Frank and Mikey went over to the dumbstruck me who was standing quietly on the sides. They dragged me to the center of the stage.
Ray gave me his mic and I just stared at him. I smiled at him and got the mic reluctantly. "Uh, hi!" I said into it.
Gee put his arm around my shoulder. "And now she's about to sing a duet with me."
I stared at him with my mouth open. "What?" I said to him, keeping the mic away from my mouth.
"Oh, come on, Sam. We hear you in the shower all the time. Besides, we're doing This Is How I Disappear. I know that's your favorite song of ours, right?" He kept the mic away from his lips.
I nodded.
"And you have enough practice in the bathroom anyway. I hear you, too. You're great! Do this for me, please?" He pouted in a way I know he thought was cute.
I looked at his begging eyes and gave in. "Alright, alright, fine. But I'm never doing anything like this again."
He grinned happily. Mikey, Ray, Frank and Bob played their parts for the introduction and Gee whispered, "You go first, okay?"
I shrugged. I had a choice not to do it, but there's a part of that just wanted to.
"To unexplain the unforgivable,
Drain all the blood and give the kids a show.
By streetlight this dark night,
A seance down below," I sang into the mic.
"There's things that I have done, you never,
Should ever know." Gerard never let his eyes drift away from me.
"And without you is how I disappear,
And live my life alone forever now.
And without you is how I disappear,
And live my life alone forever now," We sang together.
"Who walks among the famous living dead,
Drowns all the boys and girls inside your bed," I sang, smiling. I was a bit more comfortable.
"And if you could talk to me,
Tell me if it's so," he sang.
"That all good girls go to heaven.
Well, heaven knows,
That without you is how I disappear.
And live my life alone forever now.
And without you is how I disappear,
And live my life alone forever now." We sang together.
"Can you hear me cry out to you?
Words I thought I'd choke on figure out.
I'm really not so with you any more.
I'm just a ghost, so I can't hurt you anymore," We sang together, me doing the second voice with Ray on the background.
"So I can't hurt you anymore." Gee sang that since tere was screaming on it.
"And now
You wanna see how far down I can sink?
Let me out!
So you can
Well now so you can
I'm so far away from you
Well now so you can." He sang.
"And without you is how I disappear,
And without you is how I disappear,
Forever
Forever now." We ended the song together.
The applause after that was the loudest applause I've ever heard. But I didn't care. The thing I looked at was Gerard's eyes.
Wait. Did he... dedicate that song to me? Or did he just sing that because it was my favorite MCR song?
I didn't know.
But that feeling came over me again. Tell him you love him! I thought to my self.
No, I can't. Now now; not ever.
Tell him!
No!
I went back backstage, heart beating widly. Brian greeted me and pulled me into a hug. "You were great! That was great! Wow!" He exclaimed.
I looked at him and smiled. "Really? Was I? Thanks."
I sat on a chair and leaned my head back to the wall. My eyes were shutting.... But, no. I had to stay awake.
Next thing I knew, I woke up.
I was getting used to life without Dana. Our brestfriendship was over; that's the past already. But her words kept on striking me in my dreams. You know what's so heartbreaking?Knowing my bestfriend loves the love of life and knowing that she has a better chance with him.
That isn't an exact quote I think, but that's what she meant. But I believed her. And her words make me feel really bad.
The concert began and Gerard was reeled on the stage lying down on a hospital gurney. He started singing The End. and the music soon followed afterward.
Spectacular.
For the second time ever, I wasn't in the mosh pit. I was backstage, just peeking from behind the curtains of Frank's side. He was jumping around, you know, being the Frank he is, until he caught a glance of me giving him a two thumbs up.
He smiled at me, deviously, as if he had some plan up his sleeve.
After the song, Frank whispered his plan to Gerard, who whispered it to Ray, while Frank whispered it to Bob and Mikey. The all grinned and nodded.
Gerard looked at me from the side and grinned at me. He held the mic up to his lips. "Everyone, we'd like you to meet our close friend...."
"Who actually lives here, but she's now touring with us," Ray continued with his mic.
Frank grabbed Gee's mic. "Who also has my love of Skittles," shared Frank.
"Give it up for... Sam!" Gee, Ray and Frank said at the same time. Frank and Mikey went over to the dumbstruck me who was standing quietly on the sides. They dragged me to the center of the stage.
Ray gave me his mic and I just stared at him. I smiled at him and got the mic reluctantly. "Uh, hi!" I said into it.
Gee put his arm around my shoulder. "And now she's about to sing a duet with me."
I stared at him with my mouth open. "What?" I said to him, keeping the mic away from my mouth.
"Oh, come on, Sam. We hear you in the shower all the time. Besides, we're doing This Is How I Disappear. I know that's your favorite song of ours, right?" He kept the mic away from his lips.
I nodded.
"And you have enough practice in the bathroom anyway. I hear you, too. You're great! Do this for me, please?" He pouted in a way I know he thought was cute.
I looked at his begging eyes and gave in. "Alright, alright, fine. But I'm never doing anything like this again."
He grinned happily. Mikey, Ray, Frank and Bob played their parts for the introduction and Gee whispered, "You go first, okay?"
I shrugged. I had a choice not to do it, but there's a part of that just wanted to.
"To unexplain the unforgivable,
Drain all the blood and give the kids a show.
By streetlight this dark night,
A seance down below," I sang into the mic.
"There's things that I have done, you never,
Should ever know." Gerard never let his eyes drift away from me.
"And without you is how I disappear,
And live my life alone forever now.
And without you is how I disappear,
And live my life alone forever now," We sang together.
"Who walks among the famous living dead,
Drowns all the boys and girls inside your bed," I sang, smiling. I was a bit more comfortable.
"And if you could talk to me,
Tell me if it's so," he sang.
"That all good girls go to heaven.
Well, heaven knows,
That without you is how I disappear.
And live my life alone forever now.
And without you is how I disappear,
And live my life alone forever now." We sang together.
"Can you hear me cry out to you?
Words I thought I'd choke on figure out.
I'm really not so with you any more.
I'm just a ghost, so I can't hurt you anymore," We sang together, me doing the second voice with Ray on the background.
"So I can't hurt you anymore." Gee sang that since tere was screaming on it.
"And now
You wanna see how far down I can sink?
Let me out!
So you can
Well now so you can
I'm so far away from you
Well now so you can." He sang.
"And without you is how I disappear,
And without you is how I disappear,
Forever
Forever now." We ended the song together.
The applause after that was the loudest applause I've ever heard. But I didn't care. The thing I looked at was Gerard's eyes.
Wait. Did he... dedicate that song to me? Or did he just sing that because it was my favorite MCR song?
I didn't know.
But that feeling came over me again. Tell him you love him! I thought to my self.
No, I can't. Now now; not ever.
Tell him!
No!
I went back backstage, heart beating widly. Brian greeted me and pulled me into a hug. "You were great! That was great! Wow!" He exclaimed.
I looked at him and smiled. "Really? Was I? Thanks."
I sat on a chair and leaned my head back to the wall. My eyes were shutting.... But, no. I had to stay awake.
Next thing I knew, I woke up.