You Still Love Me Right?
The End...?
I had been in this room for nearly two weeks.
Not eating,
Not talking,
Barely sleeping.
Someone knocked on my door, "Gerard?" It was Mikey.
"What?"
"Can we come in?"
"Who's we?"
"Me and Frank."
"Fine." I unlocked the door and let them in. They walked in nervously, looking at me as if I would bite at any moment. Is this what I had become? Because of her? "So..we think you should get out of here." Frank started.
"You planning another tour?"
"Not quite. I'm taking my sister to look at a couple of schools in England. Figured you should come. It would get you out the house and out of this hole you've dug for yourself." I sighed, "Fine I'll come. When do we leave?"
"Tomorrow morning."
The next day I was up and out of the house. We drove to the airport to catch the flight to London and arrived at the hotel that afternoon, English time. Jet lagged, we made our way to the first school. A boarding school. It was the one Frank's sister was most keen on going to. Ever since she had met Alex, she had had her heart set on going to a boarding school in England. A man who was a reverend gave us the tour of the school, clearly sucking up but at least giving us a look at the place, "This ahead of us is the sixth form house, Willis. The girls are here in the Lower Sixth." We began walking across the carpark when I noticed a girl in a black skirt. Nothing new here. But she looked so familiar. As she walked in our direction, a file under her arm and staring at the ground, I recognised her and the memories came flooding back.
"You suck at hiding."
"Maybe because I don't want to hide from you."
It couldn't be her.
"What's your name?"
"Alex."
"I'm Gerard."
"No shit."
Of all the places in the world to see her again.
"I wouldn't run from you."
She looked up and saw me.
"Age means nothing, it's just a number."
"You sure?"
"Sure as sure can be."
In shock, she stood still, unable to move.
"But…to survive we both have to be willing to try. I know I am so…"
"I am too."
"You'll come?"
"Yes."
"Ah Alex, hello."
"I…he…RIBENA!"
She looked at the reverend.
"I…I'll quit the band. We can stay together and it will make everything so much easier."
"No. Don’t even think that. You can't."
"What can I do to make you stay?"
She looked straight at me, straight into my eyes.
"It's not only you, it's everyone. I can't look people in the eye. It's just a problem I have."
Frank tugged my arm, urging me to move.
"You can't just pick your stuff up and walk away when you please, it's just, no. It's not right, it shouldn't be like this."
"Gee I'm sorry! This is killing me to have to do this."
"Then why are you?"
"Because I don't have a choice."
I let Frank lead me past her.
"I…I love you."
"You…you do?"
Yes, I did.
I loved her.
I still love her.
I looked back and saw her still standing there, looking back at me.
After all, she still loved me…right?
Not eating,
Not talking,
Barely sleeping.
Someone knocked on my door, "Gerard?" It was Mikey.
"What?"
"Can we come in?"
"Who's we?"
"Me and Frank."
"Fine." I unlocked the door and let them in. They walked in nervously, looking at me as if I would bite at any moment. Is this what I had become? Because of her? "So..we think you should get out of here." Frank started.
"You planning another tour?"
"Not quite. I'm taking my sister to look at a couple of schools in England. Figured you should come. It would get you out the house and out of this hole you've dug for yourself." I sighed, "Fine I'll come. When do we leave?"
"Tomorrow morning."
The next day I was up and out of the house. We drove to the airport to catch the flight to London and arrived at the hotel that afternoon, English time. Jet lagged, we made our way to the first school. A boarding school. It was the one Frank's sister was most keen on going to. Ever since she had met Alex, she had had her heart set on going to a boarding school in England. A man who was a reverend gave us the tour of the school, clearly sucking up but at least giving us a look at the place, "This ahead of us is the sixth form house, Willis. The girls are here in the Lower Sixth." We began walking across the carpark when I noticed a girl in a black skirt. Nothing new here. But she looked so familiar. As she walked in our direction, a file under her arm and staring at the ground, I recognised her and the memories came flooding back.
"You suck at hiding."
"Maybe because I don't want to hide from you."
It couldn't be her.
"What's your name?"
"Alex."
"I'm Gerard."
"No shit."
Of all the places in the world to see her again.
"I wouldn't run from you."
She looked up and saw me.
"Age means nothing, it's just a number."
"You sure?"
"Sure as sure can be."
In shock, she stood still, unable to move.
"But…to survive we both have to be willing to try. I know I am so…"
"I am too."
"You'll come?"
"Yes."
"Ah Alex, hello."
"I…he…RIBENA!"
She looked at the reverend.
"I…I'll quit the band. We can stay together and it will make everything so much easier."
"No. Don’t even think that. You can't."
"What can I do to make you stay?"
She looked straight at me, straight into my eyes.
"It's not only you, it's everyone. I can't look people in the eye. It's just a problem I have."
Frank tugged my arm, urging me to move.
"You can't just pick your stuff up and walk away when you please, it's just, no. It's not right, it shouldn't be like this."
"Gee I'm sorry! This is killing me to have to do this."
"Then why are you?"
"Because I don't have a choice."
I let Frank lead me past her.
"I…I love you."
"You…you do?"
Yes, I did.
I loved her.
I still love her.
I looked back and saw her still standing there, looking back at me.
After all, she still loved me…right?