I Hate What You Do To Me
Forgive Or Forget
Heather's POV
"Frank! What the fuck?!" I yelled, not believing what I was seeing, not wanting to. It was too…I don't even know, "Well, it looks like Hev completed the plan for us." LJ said, giving me a smile, "What plan? What…?" I said, confused as hell.
"Heather…" started Frank.
"No! You can just shut the fuck up!"
"Wait, co-"
"FUCK OFF! Leave me the fuck alone!" I shouted before running away. As I did, I heard LJ say, "Just leave her. Our work here is done." Fuck them. Fuck them both. I was such a bloody idiot to think Frank would even like me or take me seriously. And yet I had let myself get caught up with him, what an idiot. I'd never felt more stupid in my life. I ran outside, not caring that is was pouring down with rain. I wanted to curl up, close my eyes and wake up to find it hadn't happened, that it was just a different world. There was nowhere I wanted to be more than back home, away from it all so I could pretend none of it had happened. I finally stopped running and just sat down and cried my eyes out.
I don’t know how long I was out there, but I eventually heard yelling, "HEATHER!"
"JESUS FRANK JUST LEAVE HER!" I looked up, Frank was running towards me, "Heather!" I got up and started to walk away, "No Heather wait!"
"Leave me alone."
"No, come on please just listen to me." He pleaded, grabbing my arm.
"What the fuck is there to listen to Frank? You tricked me, lied to me, embarrassed me, fucked with my brain, fucked me and now it turns out it's all a lie?! What the hell do you want me to do? Pretend it's all a joke and laugh along with you and my sister?!
"Heather please, I di-"
"Oh so now you're going to tell me you didn't mean to hurt me. Well that's fucking rich, you knew exactly what you were doing! If you didn't, you wouldn't have done it!"
"I know but I-"
"But what Frank? There's nothing else to say."
"I'm sorry."
"Well that's great. The damage is done." I began to walk away again, but was stopped because he grabbed my arm, again, "I'm sorry and if I could take it all back I would. I didn't know I'd end up feeling this way about you."
"And what the fuck is that supposed to mean?"
"I love you." I slapped him right across the face, "You make me sick. Stay the fuck away from me." I spat before turning and walking away.
I love you, what the hell? How could he even dare to think about saying that after what he'd done to me??
Frank's POV
Shit, I'd really fucked up. There was no way in hell she was ever going to forgive me, I felt so numb. I didn't notice the pain that was in my cheek where she'd slapped me. I just stood there in the rain, watching her walk away. What else could I do? She clearly didn't want to see me again, let alone talk to me. Suddenly, I felt so alone, like no one wanted me, no one cared, no one would notice if I was gone. I felt myself losing control of my emotions again, and there was only one person who could get me out of this mood, "Hey Gerard."
"Wooah you sound depressed."
"Thanks."
"What's up?"
"I fucked up so badly."
"What do you mean?"
"You know they say you don't know what you've got until it's gone."
"What are you on about?"
"I fell for her and I didn't fucking realise until I hurt her and now she'll never talk to me again."
"Oh Frankie what did you do?"
"When she turned up I made this plot with her sister. I don't even know why I agreed to do it, I'm not like that. The plan was to make her fall for me and then hurt her, and I did it. I managed it but I didn't want to hurt her, really I didn't, and I only realised after I had that I had fallen for her and now…and now…I don't know what to do!" I was hysterical now, I couldn't stop crying. I heard Gerard sigh on the other end of the line, "Frank, there's nothing you can do. From what you've told me, I don't think she'll trust you again no matter how sorry you are."
"But…I need her to. I need her with me so badly."
"Then prove it to her. Prove to her that you won't do the same thing. Frankly I can't believe you did it in the first place."
"I know. I'm a fucking idiot."
"Don't beat yourself up about it. We all make mistakes."
"What can I do?"
"Find some way to show her you really didn't mean it. Look, I have to go, but at least try, otherwise you'll never know. Don't give up."
"Ok, thanks Gee."
"Anytime Frankie. Good luck." I hung up and stared out the window. How the hell was I supposed to prove to Heather that I really didn't want to hurt her? Racking my brains, the only decent idea I could come up with was to follow her round until she gave in, which actually seemed like a damn good idea so I figured that's what I'd do.
You never know, she may forgive me. Or not.
"Frank! What the fuck?!" I yelled, not believing what I was seeing, not wanting to. It was too…I don't even know, "Well, it looks like Hev completed the plan for us." LJ said, giving me a smile, "What plan? What…?" I said, confused as hell.
"Heather…" started Frank.
"No! You can just shut the fuck up!"
"Wait, co-"
"FUCK OFF! Leave me the fuck alone!" I shouted before running away. As I did, I heard LJ say, "Just leave her. Our work here is done." Fuck them. Fuck them both. I was such a bloody idiot to think Frank would even like me or take me seriously. And yet I had let myself get caught up with him, what an idiot. I'd never felt more stupid in my life. I ran outside, not caring that is was pouring down with rain. I wanted to curl up, close my eyes and wake up to find it hadn't happened, that it was just a different world. There was nowhere I wanted to be more than back home, away from it all so I could pretend none of it had happened. I finally stopped running and just sat down and cried my eyes out.
I don’t know how long I was out there, but I eventually heard yelling, "HEATHER!"
"JESUS FRANK JUST LEAVE HER!" I looked up, Frank was running towards me, "Heather!" I got up and started to walk away, "No Heather wait!"
"Leave me alone."
"No, come on please just listen to me." He pleaded, grabbing my arm.
"What the fuck is there to listen to Frank? You tricked me, lied to me, embarrassed me, fucked with my brain, fucked me and now it turns out it's all a lie?! What the hell do you want me to do? Pretend it's all a joke and laugh along with you and my sister?!
"Heather please, I di-"
"Oh so now you're going to tell me you didn't mean to hurt me. Well that's fucking rich, you knew exactly what you were doing! If you didn't, you wouldn't have done it!"
"I know but I-"
"But what Frank? There's nothing else to say."
"I'm sorry."
"Well that's great. The damage is done." I began to walk away again, but was stopped because he grabbed my arm, again, "I'm sorry and if I could take it all back I would. I didn't know I'd end up feeling this way about you."
"And what the fuck is that supposed to mean?"
"I love you." I slapped him right across the face, "You make me sick. Stay the fuck away from me." I spat before turning and walking away.
I love you, what the hell? How could he even dare to think about saying that after what he'd done to me??
Frank's POV
Shit, I'd really fucked up. There was no way in hell she was ever going to forgive me, I felt so numb. I didn't notice the pain that was in my cheek where she'd slapped me. I just stood there in the rain, watching her walk away. What else could I do? She clearly didn't want to see me again, let alone talk to me. Suddenly, I felt so alone, like no one wanted me, no one cared, no one would notice if I was gone. I felt myself losing control of my emotions again, and there was only one person who could get me out of this mood, "Hey Gerard."
"Wooah you sound depressed."
"Thanks."
"What's up?"
"I fucked up so badly."
"What do you mean?"
"You know they say you don't know what you've got until it's gone."
"What are you on about?"
"I fell for her and I didn't fucking realise until I hurt her and now she'll never talk to me again."
"Oh Frankie what did you do?"
"When she turned up I made this plot with her sister. I don't even know why I agreed to do it, I'm not like that. The plan was to make her fall for me and then hurt her, and I did it. I managed it but I didn't want to hurt her, really I didn't, and I only realised after I had that I had fallen for her and now…and now…I don't know what to do!" I was hysterical now, I couldn't stop crying. I heard Gerard sigh on the other end of the line, "Frank, there's nothing you can do. From what you've told me, I don't think she'll trust you again no matter how sorry you are."
"But…I need her to. I need her with me so badly."
"Then prove it to her. Prove to her that you won't do the same thing. Frankly I can't believe you did it in the first place."
"I know. I'm a fucking idiot."
"Don't beat yourself up about it. We all make mistakes."
"What can I do?"
"Find some way to show her you really didn't mean it. Look, I have to go, but at least try, otherwise you'll never know. Don't give up."
"Ok, thanks Gee."
"Anytime Frankie. Good luck." I hung up and stared out the window. How the hell was I supposed to prove to Heather that I really didn't want to hurt her? Racking my brains, the only decent idea I could come up with was to follow her round until she gave in, which actually seemed like a damn good idea so I figured that's what I'd do.
You never know, she may forgive me. Or not.