When Night Falls

Running Up That Hill - Placebo
It would be good if you would listen to this while reading this chapter. (: Thanks

-Christine's POV-

"Christine?"

The soft tinkle of words rolling off his tongue...

"Ryan?" I whispered.

My heart skipped a beat.

"Are you asleep?"

"You're asking the obvious, aren't you?" I laughed nervously. I glanced at the greenish-glow of the numbers of my clock on the bedside table.

He's calling me at 3 a.m in the morning...?
Oh well, he is a nocturnal creature after all.
"I need to see you."

"You'll see me in school tomorrow," I replied, slightly confused.

Did he call just to say that?
"Not good enough."

"What? Wait..."

I heard him hang up the phone, and I hung up too, slightly baffled by the exchange.

What was that all about?
I heard a soft cough from the corner of the room, and I shot up instantly, on the alert.

I stared, wide-eyed into the darkness...

"Ryan???"

He was dressed casually in jeans and a black tee-shirt, which contrasted nicely with his ivory skin. His hair was slightly wet, as though he had taken a shower before, and his intoxicating, cool, metallic smell was so much stronger. I froze as he came closer, his lightning-blue eyes focused on me.

"Is this a bad time?"

"What are you doing here?" I said in a low voice, before whispering frantically, "Ssh, don't wake my mum!"

"I wanted to see you. I need to talk to you."

He sounds like a lovesick puppy.

I wish it were really that way.
"What about?"

He hesitated, before he went down on one knee, his eyes never leaving mine.

I could feel an insane part of me screaming... "He's going to propose!"... I felt my heart throb excitedly in response, and I mentally cursed myself.

You're fucking crazy, Christine.
For a moment, he stared at me, pursing his lips together in concentration.

"I'm... really sorry for today."

He reached out, placing his hand gingerly over mine.

I flushed, pulling my hand away.

Why are you so nice to me?
I saw the hurt that registered on his face before I turned away, afraid that he would see the impact his simple touch had on me.

"I went overboard. I'm sorry."

Why are you so gentle to me?
There was silence as I fidgeted with my fingers. I was nervous, and I could feel his stare on me.

"...I understand." He said softly. He reached out, brushing away a stray tear from my cheeks, and I blinked. I was hardly aware that I had even been crying.

Why are you so cold towards me one moment, and so gentle towards me in another?

I'm so confused.
"Some wrongs can never be forgiven." He continued softly.

He stepped away from me...

"Wait!" I cried.

In that instant, I wanted to ask him that burning question in my mind. The question that had
been on my mind for a long time...

But I didn't.

"I'm sorry too... I should have understood your intentions."

"My intentions?" His voice seemed strangled.

"You were only trying to help... You merely wanted me to understand... So that I won't be tricked this way... "

I saw a mixture of both relief and disappointment flit across his face, and my heart sank.

Helping me wasn't his only intention.

He had also used it as an indirect way to reject my feelings...

He had reminded me of our identities.

What we were.

We could never be together.

Never.

I felt a stinging sensation, an almost sour taste in my mouth.

How raw, the emotion of pain.
Thank you for reminding me, Ryan.

-Ryan's POV-

My intentions.

I didn't know what they were anymore.

I didn't know what I wanted anymore.

Yes, in the first place, I had purely, entirely... Started out to help her.

I wanted to protect her.

But I had let my heart rule my actions.

Now I was the one hurting her.

What were truly my intentions?

She was crying her eyes out, her spirit broken.

I watched her, feeling an urge to embrace her.

To do anything to comfort her.

To take all her pain away.

Why was she so devasted?

Had I hurt her so badly, to this extent?

I can't hurt her anymore.

I can't lose her this way.