Killing Loneliness
Love is insane
I ripped a cigarette out of the pack and searched for my lighter. I frusterated the night, but I never let it get in the way of a smoke break. I lit up and the cigarette and inhaled deeply. Fuck it, I deserve lung cancer, I want to die.
Bam. He is the one, the one who did this. The one who took my heart and refuses to give it back, to this day.
My cap rubbed up against the cold, frigid metal of our rag tag tour bus. I closed my eyes as I exhaled the smoke. As i could tell, Bam didnt know a thing. He thinks Im an alcoholic, that was starting to be true, all my feelings for him go away when Im drunk.
The moon was beautiful that night, it glowed a harvest orange without a shadow in sight. "Hey Ville." I heard a timid voice say. I looked up from my cigarette long enough to see Bam sit beside me.
"Oh hey Bammie. You want a cigarette?" I asked tiredly. "Nah." I stared into his eyes, ignoring his mouth, they shone like crystals in the bright moonlight. I smirked the famous half smile and Bam's mouth started to move again, I unlocked myself from the trace from his eyes and listened.
"you cold out here? You might want to come back in the bus." I inhaled again. "No, I like being cold." God I always had to stay cold in front of him. "I was just thinking, your in a tank." It was true, my favorite black tank top adorning my chest didnt help to the factthe hair on my arms were standing up on end.
"Why are you out here Bam Bam? I thought you had a little hangover." talking to him like a 4 year old. He scratched the back of his head. "It was a little one." he said sticking out his bottom lip in this cutest way possible.
I stared at the chipped black nail polish gracing his slender fingers. "Dude, dont stare at my ass." he said jokingly. "I cant help it if you have a sweet ass Bam." Oh Christ. He laughed as he walked away from me,
I couldnt believe the act i had put on witrh Rayne, Charlie must hate me, and Rayne must think Im scum, i cant blame them, but anything, anything, to never let bam know my secret.
Bam. He is the one, the one who did this. The one who took my heart and refuses to give it back, to this day.
My cap rubbed up against the cold, frigid metal of our rag tag tour bus. I closed my eyes as I exhaled the smoke. As i could tell, Bam didnt know a thing. He thinks Im an alcoholic, that was starting to be true, all my feelings for him go away when Im drunk.
The moon was beautiful that night, it glowed a harvest orange without a shadow in sight. "Hey Ville." I heard a timid voice say. I looked up from my cigarette long enough to see Bam sit beside me.
"Oh hey Bammie. You want a cigarette?" I asked tiredly. "Nah." I stared into his eyes, ignoring his mouth, they shone like crystals in the bright moonlight. I smirked the famous half smile and Bam's mouth started to move again, I unlocked myself from the trace from his eyes and listened.
"you cold out here? You might want to come back in the bus." I inhaled again. "No, I like being cold." God I always had to stay cold in front of him. "I was just thinking, your in a tank." It was true, my favorite black tank top adorning my chest didnt help to the factthe hair on my arms were standing up on end.
"Why are you out here Bam Bam? I thought you had a little hangover." talking to him like a 4 year old. He scratched the back of his head. "It was a little one." he said sticking out his bottom lip in this cutest way possible.
I stared at the chipped black nail polish gracing his slender fingers. "Dude, dont stare at my ass." he said jokingly. "I cant help it if you have a sweet ass Bam." Oh Christ. He laughed as he walked away from me,
I couldnt believe the act i had put on witrh Rayne, Charlie must hate me, and Rayne must think Im scum, i cant blame them, but anything, anything, to never let bam know my secret.